Crowe's Nest

obsessed with this

i go to a gay bar and notice the furry convention's in town. i see a fine lookin bear remove his fursuit, revealing that underneath, he's also a fine lookin bear. I raise my eyebrows and say "woof" and all the cat furries immediately hiss and scatter

im gods weakest faggot

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

the unbelievably heavy burden i bear every time i see someone post this screencap knowing that it's just a louis ck bit that she's posting verbatim

Hope the week starts good for everyone-!

fun fact you don't really need to use a condom in europe because the way usamericans have sex is much more dangerous because we're more likely to be hit by cars

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

brother dubious

tries a new strain and 20 minutes later is on youtube searching for “dance moves for shy men”

obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks

she’s reinventing hieroglyphics

She’s the only person who truly understands how emojis were meant to be used.

my dealer: got some straight gas🔥😛 this strain is called house of leaves😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd💯

me: yeah whatever. i don't feel shit

5 min later: dude i swear the house is 1/4" bigger on the inside

my buddy, will navidson, pacing: our house is God

"damn bitch you live like this?" but its a full white minimalistic clean bedroom

turn the sound on and immediately noclip straight into hell

i promise you whatever the fuck you think you’re about to hear before you click unmute, you’re wrong.

no promise has ever been as legit as this one.

remembering that one genre of posts where a local police station's twitter/facebook account would post something like "BIG BUST! A VIOLENT DRUG DEALER HAS JUST ARRESTED! ONE LESS CRIMINAL WANDERING THE STREETS!" and they post a picture of what was confiscated and its the teensiest weensiest dimebag of pot, a $5 pocket knife, and a rusty 100 year old pistol

Subway pre recorded message: Reminder that backpacks and other large containers are subject to random search. The MTA and New York Police can and will kill you

Subway conductor giving message: *ding* bobo mimimi, mooomoo bogie binted, bogos binted

is he okay

Damn he must've contributed so much to Morbius' gross

That's the funniest part. For his Morbius vid, he actually bought tickets to Everywhere All At Once and snuck into Morbius each time as to not play any part in making Sony think that they should make more Morbius.

Not all heroes wear capes, but according to that thumbnail this one does

found out one of my friends had been using some obscure rar opening program for years and i googled it and it looks like something off of law and order

Reblog and put in the tags how often you “clean” your tumblr account, deleting old posts.

Tumblr actually has an auto clean function! Where the search function immediately forgets tags and posts making them un-findable