heehee

Did you know that bees sleep between 5-8 hours a day, sometimes in flowers? Also, they like to sleep with other bees and hold each other’s feet.                    

Source     

No, I’m not okay

*an unexpected crunch while eating* huh. must be the cyanide capsule I keep in my tooth in case the Soviets start asking questions.

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

Also if you have a crying kid give them a cup of water. You can’t cry and drink at the same time and it gives them a chance to calm down.

Tell them their going to run out of tears so they drink the water.

My mom does this at her preschool after awhile the other children start offering the crying child little cups of water.

The mental image of 20 3yos clammering to give another crying 3yo a glass of water has me on the edge of needing a glass of water

she's bald except for the ponytail

That’s a warrior’s cut

Mrs warrior is crying because her wife just got diagnosed with fatal bookshelf-brain

i feel like i just had an encounter with jesus

wait why didn’t he just insert the sad emoji

Schools: don’t teach those skills anymore

Stuff: is made to not be repairable

Tools & Materials: are priced as a luxury

Working Hours: have expanded to take up a lot of people’s whole day and weekends

Wages: have stagnated so that everyone has to work full time

“News” media: Your dad is better at DIY than you, ya dick!

lets not forget:

Your parents: have never actually taught you any of those things either

I love this lady though because she always gives like a minute long explanation that possums aren’t naturally pets and hers are all ones people brought to nature centers and can’t be returned to the wild, so please do not kidnap possums.

Also she’s a little out there but in the best way

favorite video quote: ‘Some of you have written in suggesting that I am a wack job’

It’s Georgette of MePearlA!

i’ve stopped trash talking comic sans after learning the font is actually one of the only dyslexia-friendly fonts that come standard with most computers and i advocate for others doing the same

In the event that you would like to continue hating Comic Sans, other dyslexia-friendly alternatives include Arial, Verdana, Tahoma, Century Gothic and Trebuchet.

thank

Random fact: Verdana is one of the few fonts which was specifically designed to be as easy to read as possible, even at smaller type sizes. It was designed this way for use on screen, but the same principles apply in print too. This is part of why some Universities use Verdana as their default font for documents.

“In the event that you would like to continue hating Comic Sans” is one of the best things I’ve ever read on this website

@pedeka @lunariagold @darklittlestories

I’ll take Comic Sans over Arial any day. 

Century Gothic and Trebuchet are both quite handsome typefaces.

I’m partial to Century Gothic as well. It’s serif, but not boring.

There’s also a dyslexic font designed especially for dyslexic people to read.

You can install on your tablets, laptops and browers etc, so not only can you change things like documents into it, you can change websites into that font as well! 

I’m sure you’re bright enough to do a google search, but since I’m dumb enough to forget to post a link, here it is. Better late than never

https://www.dyslexiefont.com/en/dyslexie-font/

I default to arial for this reason, but I will now be defaulting to verdana or dyslexie. nice.

I don’t think I have dyslexia but that dyslexie font was the easiest fucking thing to read ever. Books should be written in that shit.

ALSO!!!

For computer reading, when you mix up lines of text, there’s a web browser app called Beeline Reader. It looks like this

The colors are also customizable, to an extent and while I don’t have dyslexia, I have adhd which makes reading large amounts of text harder and this helps A LOT.

This is dope. I freaking love how much more accessible this information is nowadays.

for our dyslexic ravens.

I always thought I was a decent reader, but holy crap that BeeLine made reading enjoyable lol

Me on Fourth of July like

Anyway, stop spreading white nationalist rhetoric and toxic nationalism thanks

Nobody said anything about race. Stop that.

It’s nationalist to state facts now?

How is this toxic?

Show me countries better than the USA.

economically

x

human freedom

x

quality of life

x

social progress 

x

income equality (america was among the worst)

x

healthcare

x x

gender equality

x

what exactly makes america the “best country” here? america doesn’t excel in anything.

I was gonna say aren’t we like #1 in a bunch of bad stats? Like aren’t we the top for rape and abuse?

we are superior in waging wars, exporting and using firearms, and incarcerating the population among a lot of other terrible things. how depressing is patriotism and nationalism?

I remember this epic moment from The Newsroom

Americans just buy into the propaganda they are the greatest country when there is absolutely zero evidence to say so.

I reblog this post every chance I get.

So one of my tweets kinda blew up. :v

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC.

God this is the greatest art feud of our time.

Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.

Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this:

[A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe]

Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.com Illegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink

Dear Sirs,

I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so. 

I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it.

We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram. 

The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear: Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor. 

In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings.

I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad. 

I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive. 

Therefore I would appreciate it if: 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor.  2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it.  3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram.

Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be: 1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping) 2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art.

If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.

I look forward to resolving this matter. 

Yours,

Stuart Semple

Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it.

Alright this is hilarious because

Stuart Semple everybody!

!!!IMPORTANT FOR BLACK US VOTERS!!!

I saw this on Facebook and went to check my registration status, sure it was fine because I voted recently, but I put in the info and it said I’m not registered

PLEASE, especially if you’re a Black voter, check your registration status at vote.org

Update: check your status with your state, NOT with vote.org. There’s a chance that vote.org is collecting your info

This shits crazy

Please check, this is your right and this shouldn’t be happening

This movie was greatly underrated

Kids are interesting. I’m babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who’s homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official announcements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen.

“Ahh, Perry the Platypus! You thought you could sneak up on me, but thanks to my new DummyThiccinator, the clap of your buttcheeks has alerted me to your presence! And once it recharges, I shall use it on the entire Tri-State Area! No longer will I be momentarily startled by people walking suddenly behind me at the mall or the supermarket! AH HA HA HA HA HA!”

If I have to see this post then you do too

Fandom:

Adults: *create a space for other adults*

Minors*: *come into that space* 

Minors: this isn’t a safe space for kids!!

Adults: …..uhh no, it’s not.

Minors: why are you personally attacking me personally?

Adults: ….????????………… 

Minors: I know you want to fuck children

Me: *looks at fic with one character that’s in his 40′s and another that’s in his 50′s, with no children in sight* 

Me: ………please get out of my house

(I still get a lot of responses to this post calling me a pedo and I am t i r e d of this bottom-of-the-barrel quality discourse)

* this obviously doesn’t apply to all minors, and to all those minors (like me, when I was your age!) that manage to enjoy and participate in fandom without calling everyone a pedophile, I appreciate you.

Adults: we want to write/draw porn of these fictional adult characters.

Minors: that’s not appropriate for children.

Adults: yep! that’s why it’s tagged as explicit and has a warning for mature content and also is tagged for various sex acts in case you’re not into that.

Minors: that type of content makes me uncomfortable.

Adults: we totally get that but that’s why the tags and warnings are on it.

Adults: look you even have to agree:

Adults: so if you’re not into that type of thing then you can just skip over it.

Minors: it make me uncomfortable.

Adults: ……then… don’t… read it?

Minors: no. 

Minors: you should stop writing it.

Adults: no.

JUST FUCKING SAYING

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you’re old enough to be using the internet unsupervised, then you’re old enough to be learn how to avoid content that upsets you. Adult fans and content creators are not here to be your babysitters.

This still isn't as good as welcome to my fuck house

Honestly this was THE peak Tumblr experience

Self care is drizzling half a gallon of honey down your throat and spontaneously transporting yourself to the Seelie Court where you proceed to dance in a mushroom circle for the next 300 years

that’s called diabetic ketoacidosis and you’re probably in a coma