this was so wild

Someone explain

The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.

In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.

The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.

The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.

the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy

This is the worst website ever and I love it.

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

I feel like practicing any skill would be way more fun if I could have a lil level increase thing that pops up in front of me every time I do good like in Skyrim

“Push ups increased to level 5”

“Writing dialogue increased to level 37”

“Coping mechanisms (healthy) increased to level 18”

I am SO ANGRY ♡

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.

This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.

Okay now I’m actively sad that this doesn’t exist.

Anime communicates it pretty well… 🙋🏼‍♂️

The Antique Bakery anime opening is outstanding.

Yes and! I see YOI and I raise you Vision of Escaflowne.

I'm still in denial about just how old this one is, and it will remain my favorite anime OP song/sequence until the heat death of the universe:

maaya sakamoto???? oh my god. kween of all nations. here's my favorite song of her btw 😫

One Punch Man OP season 1

https://youtu.be/erQURy_Ys5Y

Yes and! I see YOI and I raise you Vision of Escaflowne.

I'm still in denial about just how old this one is, and it will remain my favorite anime OP song/sequence until the heat death of the universe:

i would, can, and WILL die for sydnee mcelroy

For the record this is missing the post where he explains that she didnt go in specifically to harrass the worker. She went in there just to inform something along the lines of " i know you dont have control of this but the sign is misleading and I need to tell your manager" but then the worker started preaching the "true science" and girl had the green light to go to war from there

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

(via)

Oh come on you HAVE to include the footage.

???????????????

Love how he just sits down at the end like Harrumph. Hmm. Just defied the laws of physics. Guess that happened.

i love how the title is "human baseball player" . yknow, as opposed to all those non-human baseball players we have that double jump regularly

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

Talented boy

(via)

Confused noises

My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it

Someone: Hey, can I borrow a pen?

Me, getting a bag of pens out: Absolutely not, perish.