A crested eagle tangled up with a snake in battle

the Aztec were right, that is absolutely an omen worth building a city for

"Why did the previous person who filled this role leave?"

one tectonic plate approaching another

“so are you a top or a bottom?”

two tops? you get a mountain. two bottoms? VALLEY BRO

i don’t know anything about geology

Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?

I had to google that and i swear to fuck I will kill you

alright this is fine

Good post everyone hit the showers

You really have to give the architect a 5 star thumbs up for his vision in building this place …

the town’s name is dixon

the longer you look at it the funnier it gets

Dude, this is the city I was born in. I know exactly which building that is, I HAVE BEEN TO THIS BUILDING, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE FROM ABOVE

I had to google if it was real and found an article about the church and

i’m dying

Yeah, that totally doesn’t look phallic at all ….

@sweaterkittensahoy

*deep inhale*

GAAAAAAAAYLEEEEE!!!!!!

Platypus Tea Cosy Knitting Pattern by TeaCosyFolk

THE MUMMY RETURNS (2001) dir. Stephen Sommers

Brutus committed to the bit 100%.

SHAKESPEARE: maybe brutus was conflicted between love and duty. did you think of that

REALITY: *brutus does victory laps around rome both middle fingers flipping everyone off blasting his commemorative murder fliff this way and that*

horseback archery -> several hundred years -> jerking off while driving

watch anthropologists ignore this

Except the horse can just not walk off a cliff or whatever while the car absolutely can. I mean i know horses can but like if they are paying attention they’ll just be like “you’re a stupid and I’m not going there and you can’t actually make me”.

interesting. what other discrepancies have you found between mounted archery and masturbating on the interstate

can’t trust anyone who criticises the mamma mia movie. like wtf are you even criticising. the plot?? the characterisation?? my brother in christ they put meryl streep, colin firth and amanda seyfried on an island, got them drunk and asked them to sing abba songs in the campest way possible that’s LITERALLY. IT. by this point you have to just assume that you’re the problem.

bitches be like "but we never learn who her father is!!" uh yeah we do she has Three??

I’d go to this party.

our followers’ top 10 classic disney films

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

Mystique : Bitchlet, is it true you told Magneto you'd have killed Charles for him?

Pyro: Yeah man, I don't know why he freaked out on me, I thought they were sworn enemies.

Wolverine: Bub, that's his husband.

Thinking hard about...League of Assassins. Damian sitting, whimpering, little arm tight in Ra's hand. " What have I told you of mercy?"

" That...That it doesn't serve the strong." He's little; He's too little to be the Bat's son. The other one is tall and angry, made to make the world kneel. It was too bad he escaped.

" And are you not strong, Damian? Are you no boy of mine?"

" I'm...I'm mother's strong boy."

Ra's snarls, hand raised, and, --

And Talia, cursed, soft, ruined Talia, stops him. His broken legacy, letting herself be prey to attachments that don't even want her. Departing from his lessons, from his side.

Talia can be her own demon.

She glares, fierce, holding Damian to her chest. He's crying shamelessly in her neck and she doesn't even reprimand him. " How low you've fallen, daughter,"

" Not lower than you. Make the smart decision for once in your overdue life, and don't challenge me. I don't know loss. I don't care how you hurt me. You never knew anything else. Do not touch our habibi, "

"Our? Don't make me laugh. He hasn't claimed either of you. If it bears my name, it is mine. Damian Al Gh--"

" Wayne,'' she smirks, " his name is Wayne. And I promise you won't like the consequences if you choose to hurt what's mine and my beloveds. Let this not happen again."

"Or what, Talia? You'll call Batman?"

His voice is mocking, but the green in Talia's eyes is dull and serious, " No. I'll call Bruce."

The Pit can fix death; It cannot fix fear.

Godddd. Maybe if yall wouldn't be so laser focused on something as boring as murder for Bruce, you could take in on the possibilities. Bruce is SUCH a badass under all that wet cat. Dark sunshine character my beloved.

It was Jason that led them here, but Damian learned the lesson all the same.

He barely recalled what Jason had said, some story about what he'd been made to do under Grandfather's unforgiving hand. A push too far, or one sin too many, something like that. But Father- Father had never looked like that. Not in Damian's memory, at least. The table had gone quiet, a hush fallen over them all like a physical thing, and they stared at him. They shrunk in their seats, even Alfred of all people, and watched him raptly.

It was no one thing on Father, no tick or movement or position that delivered this crushing, suffocating aura. The panicked look on Tim's face said this had happened before, but only once, in that void where Jason's space in Father's arms lay empty and the gap in his heart went unfilled.

Father stood without a word and left. Not to the Cave, not to the cowl - it was not Batman who went hunting, but the man beneath. It was not long before the call from Mother came, ashen-faced and wide-eyed.

"You must come." She said. "You must stop him."

When they arrive, the bodies are scattered about. Medics rush back and forth, tending them where they lay.

"B did this?" Jason asks, as if it is not self-evident. Mother refuses to enter the chamber where Father is ostensibly contained. When they do, the scene is confusing.

In yesterday's clothes, Father sits on Grandfather's throne. At his feet kneels Grandfather, broken and shaking and breathing in brittle little rasps.

"What the fuck." Stephanie says, but Cassandra's wide eyes say it all.

"I wasn't firm enough last time." Father articulates the words carefully, clearly. His hand is gentle as he tips Grandfather's chin up to stare into his eyes. There is nothing sweet there, no mercy for his former mentor and former lover's father. Time and pain have soured all good intentions and burned every bridge. Father is unequivocal in his choice of words. "I will make forever a very long and very painful experience for you if you ever harm my children. I will crumple your body as many times as it takes, as often as necessary, as frequently as the Lazarus will allow. Do I make myself clear?"

Grandfather whimpered and that seemed enough. For now.

He's still not certain what, exactly, Father had done. Mother refused to tell and Grandfather died on his own somewhere in the interim. Mother never looked at Father the same again, but she also seemed ... impressed by him. Perhaps some long-dormant desire for her own father to be so protective, to love so sweetly it curdles into a wretched thing like violence.

It would not be until he was an adult and Father was worn out and old, white-haired and cane-bound, that he would come to know the truth of the matter.

Father had not been threatening or promising. He'd already visited vengeance upon the compound. No, he had been instructing the Demon in fear. Not fear of the Bat, nor death, nor even brutality, but fear of being left alive, fear of what Father's love could do and how Father's mercy was unfathomably cruel. Fear of Father as a man who loved as deeply and as darkly as ink, a stain on all it touched and a steadfast reminder.

Father, in his chair with cane in hand, looks up at him one day with the same black-eyed gaze as the one he'd had on that day. Umprompted, as though he could sense which memories he'd been recalling, Father's voice blankets the study in darkness.

"I broke every bone from his shoulder to his fingertips." Father says, voice calm and flat. "I tore every tendon and ligament in his legs. I would have done it again."

"Why not kill him?"

"Everything dies, even Ra's." Father replies. "But I didn't want him scared to die. I wanted him scared to live. I wanted him scared to live in my world, knowing a man like me would come for him."

"A man like you?"

"A man who is so skilled in the arts of death that he can make living a punishment."

And that is when Damian understands exactly the kind of man Bruce Wayne is.

garak what the fuck you are literally in your own tailor’s shop surrounded by thread scissors, if there’s a tiny loose thread on the shoulder of that jacket you don’t need to fucking bite it off with your whole mouth what’s wrong with you

as someone who sews i can confirm this is 100% accurate

If I cannot reach a tool right now without getting out of my chair it does not exist. I can and will cut/remove/alter that with my teeth/finger nails/glare.

Basically: yeah, looks about right.

people who don’t sew have no idea how much the mouth is involved

people who don’t sew

have no idea how much

the mouth is involved

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

shinzo abe day was incredible. still not over seeing all the rumours about what happened, joining everyone in wondering how the fuck a shotgun assassination could have happened in japan, and then seeing the first photo of the doohickey

Lemme look something up...

This is literally some Looney Toons level bullshit

Ah yes, the first Spanish astronaut

I feel incredibly slow on the uptake but I was re-reading some Pratchett today—Going Postal—and Vetinari mentions “the psychology of the individual” and it finally hit me that Vetinari is Jeeves.

Jeeves, with Ankh-Morpork to take care of instead of Wooster.

Preternaturally calm, fully aware that they are serving a very dim master that must be led without it realizing that it is being led, able to enter a room far more silently than you’d expect…has apparently had an Understanding with a surprising number of ladies off-screen…

I would almost have thought coincidence until I hit the bit about considering the psychology of the individual. Now I take my hat off to both.

Just saw an excellent post on how the Jedi do not have rules against revealing clothing, alcohol, sex etc and I agree with it completely, while at the same time believing very strongly that the Jedi Council have taken numerous votes to force Master Kit Fisto to put a forcedamned shirt on in the council chamber. They are yet to reach quorum on this issue, but one of these days...