my toxic trait is that i think for every 15 minutes of work i do i should get 45 minutes of fuck around time

apparently the cops arrested fuckin Bicycles Georg today

someone found this guy's house on google maps and I'm screaming

imagine being this wrong and also hiding this article behind a paywall

one time they went to a bbq as a kid and a grill ran over their mom

WHY IS THIS THE DOG'S REGISTERED NAME IM FUCKIBG GSGSGAGSHSJJS

Name: Little Beepo

Skill: Fucking Miserable

Quote: Please let me have some grease from the stovetop. I’ll cry if you don’t let me have some grease. I need it.

my only goal in life is to destroy the space-time continuum

AND THEN ACT LIKE I DONT KNOW NOBODY

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World Heritage Post

unfortunately I’m watching supernatural and someone on screen said ‘there are No Wolves in pennsylvania’ and I was like. what a bold incorrect statement. where did they possibly get that idea from. so I googled it…google is insisting there are no wild wolves in pa?? except I’ve Seen wolves here?? there used to be a wolf that would hang out in my backyard and roam around the neighborhood?? like Everyone knew about this wolf we assumed he lived on the golf course and would come to our yards if he got spooked by golfers (very quiet block). like we all thought he just lost his pack or whatever so people just gave him a wide space and let him chill, he didn’t try to break into any houses or attack any pets but this was definitely. a wild wolf. where. where did he come from what do you MEAN there aren’t wolves in pennsylvania I’m literally spiraling right now

still feeling so gut-punched over this

To be fair, PA also said “we did not reintroduce mountain lions, they are not there, you’re seeing really big house cats, please keep coming to the parks and camp sites and ignore that video, that was totally not a mountain lion, someone took last week”

okay I’m sorry but this came up on pinterest and I Screamed

you are the state of Pennsylvania (allegedly)

i just showed this to a friend from pennsylvania and 1. theyre losing their mind bc theyve seen mountain lions which prompted them to look it up which leads me to 2. this fucking bonkers article

[caption: “We’ve been here 45 years and I’ve probably been told by people at least 100 t imes that they’ve seen a cougar or mountain lion,” said owner Vince Hall. “I kind of doubt they saw a cougar, but I’m not God.”]

PA: I can’t believe we’ve lost all our native apex predators Citizens of PA: there’s a mountain lion right there PA: sometimes we can still hear the sound of them scaring away tourists

…PA has fucking EMUS and you want me to believe we have no wolves or mountain lions?

what the fuck do you mean we have emus

http://emusontheridge.com/ https://www.abc27.com/news/us-world/strange/update-runaway-perry-county-emu-found-after-seven-months-on-the-run/

Guys, I’ve cracked it

This thing goes all the way to the top

what the fuck is happening in pennsylvania

As a regretful born and raised Pennsylvanian, we have wolves, coywolves, mountain lions, lynx, and coyotes. Not a single person in authority will admit to there being anything but coyotes and lynx. If you see a cougar, they will tell you you saw a lynx. If you see a wolf, they will tell you you saw a coyote. Ignore the massive differences in sizes. No one knows what a coywolf is but we have them. I have seen a cougar with my own two goddamned eyes. There is an entire nature park whose main attractions are the cougars and wolves (and bison but we’re not talking about them) - it’s called Penn’s Cave, it’s been there forever. Everyone I know has seen a cougar or wolf at least once in the woods.

So what I’m getting at is don’t trust the government.

In Titanic (1997), I bet you didn’t notice that gorilla walking past the screen.

when programs fucking autocorrect <3 to ❤️ and :) to 😃,,,, do you have any idea what you’ve just done?? what you just fucking destroyed ?

buying a different snack than usual at the store is one of the bravest and most dangerous things a girl can do

i cant believe i have to smoke this blunt with no pepsi 

There’s people who have war in their countries

and i have a blunt with no pepsi 

they need to make an app for the mentally ill …

this is the app we r on it rn babe

"he is not my president" bumper sticker with a picture of some random guy that has never been president

me staring at my calculator app for 45 seconds before i remember i was trying to open my clock app to set an alarm

bro don't look now bro but i think that slug is looking at us bro

i got formally diagnosed this week after years of waiting/knowing and my friend mailed a professionally custom made cake to my house

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

Could’ve had a docking logo but no