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moved to shotgunshipping

@off22theraces

oops guys . does this count as an archive

wow the hos love me

me especially

oh reaallyy?

perhaps

woowww that’s crazy

😁😁😁😁 yeah

um. so. the. the weather . right

hmmm i dunnooo it’s kinda hot in here but that might just be me

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁yeah that might just be you idk tho um

uuuuuhhh i found more pickup lines 😁

yeah? i’d looovee to hear them :)!

ok umm shit hold on

if you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber!!!

are you an electrician? cuz ur lighting up my day 😁

i cant tell if that was an earthquake because u srsly just rocked my world!!!!

and um i think this ones the best

i‘d like to take you to the movies but they dont let you take in your own snack

wow those are terrible. i love them

:D!!!

i told my mom about the “sorry about your bf” memes a week or so ago and she’s obsessed with them she loves your boyfriend so much she’s constantly putting him in crazy scenarios and absolutely loving it

she had a dream last night that she was a waitress and she was pouring water into a girl’s cup for her and saw a bug in it and was like “oh no i’m so sorry there’s a bug in your water” and the girl was like “oh no it’s fine that’s just my boyfriend” and then picked him up by the back of his shirt and pulled him out of the water and he was coughing and sputtering

she said the girl set him down on the table while my mom kept apologizing to her and she was just like “oh it’s fine it happens all the time he’ll dry off no worries”

Hey so we told my mom about your boyfriend. Yeah she's been putting him in scenarios and situations ever since. Yeah sorry she's not been this into something in years, sorry.

no bc she’s literally texting me abt your boyfriend from the church pew mid sermon she can’t get him off of her mind he’s like a little plaything to her

wow the hos love me

me especially

oh reaallyy?

perhaps

woowww that’s crazy

😁😁😁😁 yeah

um. so. the. the weather . right

hmmm i dunnooo it’s kinda hot in here but that might just be me

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁yeah that might just be you idk tho um

uuuuuhhh i found more pickup lines 😁

yeah? i’d looovee to hear them :)!

ok umm shit hold on

if you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber!!!

are you an electrician? cuz ur lighting up my day 😁

i cant tell if that was an earthquake because u srsly just rocked my world!!!!

and um i think this ones the best

i‘d like to take you to the movies but they dont let you take in your own snack

wow the hos love me

me especially

oh reaallyy?

perhaps

woowww that’s crazy

😁😁😁😁 yeah

um. so. the. the weather . right

hmmm i dunnooo it’s kinda hot in here but that might just be me

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁yeah that might just be you idk tho um

uuuuuhhh i found more pickup lines 😁

everyone in aperture hearing wanda have a panic attack from two miles away