firing gunshots (bad posts) to keep the property taxes (follower count) low

This is an appreciation post for my tourettics with coprolalia.

You are NOT a stereotype, you are NOT a bad person for it, your vocal tics are NOT bad representation, I promise, you cannot control it.

You are amazing.

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

Behold

A chicken

[image: a lemon.]

Image descriptions that incidentally make the joke infinitely funnier.

You may recall that in September a volcano erupted on the Spanish Island of La Palma.

Many people were forced to flee the area, and among those were a number of beekeepers (La Palma is home to over 100 beekeepers).

Fifty days after the eruption, one beekeeper returned and was amazed to find that the bees in five of his six hives - just 600 metres from the volcano and buried under volcanic ash - had survived.

The bees had sealed any gaps in the hives with propolis to keep toxic fumes out, and relied on honey already stored in their hives for food.

It never ceases to amaze me just how incredible bees are 🐝

Photo credit: Elías González, La Palma Bee Keepers Association, via EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

mountain: *fucking explodes*

bees: huh. anyway...

BBC article for validation

the man!! the legend!!

all calendrical systems are fucked up because they’re trying to do too many things at once, the prototypical example being keep track of important agricultural scheduling matters and also divide time into equal segments, which is a problem when your principle timekeeping methods like the sun, moon, stars, seasons, and so forth don’t quite line up (and may indeed vary slightly wrt one another)

Some ancient societies solved this by resetting their calendar based on an empirical observation, which works well enough when your principle concern is local agricultural matters. Others let their calendar drift with respect to the year, but periodically reset it. Yet others added consistent leap days or intercalary days. Modern timekeeping methodology has things like “Unix time,” which is a fixed number of elapsed seconds since a particular moment, and “UTC,” which has leap seconds and other nonsense so it consistently tracks astronomical data, for day-to-day scheduling purposes. Some countries simply split their civil and traditional/religious calendars (or whatever), which is honestly a pretty good idea even if it introduces another layer of complexity into your society.

Me, I think we’re not thinking big enough. I think if astronomical phenomenon do not adequately serve our calendar-making purposes, we should make them. To that end, I propose we blow up the moon, and use it as reaction mass to halt the rotation of the Earth. Sure, billions will die. Possibly the whole species. But our children–direct or via whatever offshoot of life manages to survive in deep ocean hydrothermal vents–will inherent a more orderly, well-managed world. And in the end, isn’t that what matters?

The real problem with a lot of natural phenomena is that they *change*. A few hundred million years ago days were around 21 hours long. Then the climate changed and the atmospheric tides stopped cancelling out the lunar tides and we’ve been spinning more slowly on average ever since. But also the 2005 earthquake in Indonesia reshaped the earth slightly, and and made days shorter by a couple microseconds. And filling the Three-Gorge reservoir in China shifted enough mass to make the day a few nanoseconds longer. And also every 27 years or so the days get a few milliseconds longer for about five years, then go back, and nobody knows why. 2020 we spun faster than in 2019, and 2021 we’re faster still.

The point is that reality is imperfect, and decaying around us always, even if only at timescales we can barely comprehend. Things like standardized units of time are just our feeble attempts to impose organization on the swirling chaos that surrounds and controls us; we create mental models and call them “seconds” and “hours” and “days” and “years”, while dedicated scientists work tirelessly to keep them in sync with the utter impermanence of the universe.

tl;dr: We should destroy the universe, after which standards can safely and accurately be imposed at all scales.

CE 73: Reform of the Calendar

this is entrapment

two equally delightful paths here:

1) a very simple and genuine “i like your shoelaces”, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally

2) “i like your shoelaces” followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.

if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation

well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe

this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year

everyone lost

#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying

(via @binguscore)

losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^

Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media

Y'all think you are throwing shade like Statler and Waldorf, forgetting you're still Muppets.

Anyone else totally desensitized to the delta variant with a side of futility or is it just me. Im wearing my mask and stuff but the scale of the horror of it is just lost on me now

I heard "delta spreads as fast as smallpox" and felt nothing

Yeah yeah, it's a plague, we get it, we know the drill.

Never thought I’d be so used to crippling, blinding existential fear

Beautiful, inspiring, transcendent: Humans can become accustomed to anything.

Horrific, terrifying, bleak: Humans can become accustomed to anything.

amazing

An important clarification.

This is the sickest most severe burn i have EVER SEEN

i looked up the tweet and am pleased to report that the replies are chock full of diogenes jokes

Remember every fucking time your workplace had you over a barrel and used that barrel to force you to serve their needs.

Now apply those learned lessons.

And if you're not unionized, for fuck's sake, search for restaurant unions or food service unions and REACH OUT TO THEM.

The SEIU covers childcare workers, janitors, food service workers, healthcare workers, and probably a whole lot more.

Thinking of… Gaming discord maybe? but… we all have tics… and we play and we also tic

Okay I'm probably asking a stupid question here:

What is the difference between a tic, an involuntary twitch, and a stim? I'm wondering because I work customer service and and probably mask a lot of whatever I have going on.

I have Tourette’s and stim as well! I would differentiate them by saying stims feel “good” to get out and are more conscious choices. I can stop stimming during work but my tics cannot stop. Holding them in is uncomfortable and often impossible. I don’t have a thought before ticcing, but rather it’s automatic and I realize it as I’m doing the tic.

It's even worse when it's in a silent room