||-//

oh god, they were roommates

This straight guy, who we’ll call Mike, has been roommates with Alex for a year. When Alex told Mike he was gay, he was absolutely fine with it. But then when Alex started to bring guys home…he started getting annoyed, resentful, disgusted.

Posting on Reddit, he said: ‘First things first, let me say that I’ve never thought of myself as being discriminatory before. I had a gay friend in high school and we made it through some tough times together, I never felt weird about him dating a guy. So all of this is coming out of nowhere.

‘”Alex” has been my roommate for one year, and I pretty much knew upfront about him being gay. At some point we became friendly enough with each other that we could even joke about it, as in, sometimes he’ll pretend to flirt with me and I’ll pretend to flirt back. I’m straight and he knows that, but I don’t feel threatened by him flirting with me and he says most straight guys do.

‘The problems started because of this: Alex brings guys home sometimes. At the start I thought I was okay with it, since it’s really not my business who he sleeps with. He’s usually discreet enough about it that I don’t see/hear anything I wouldn’t want to see/hear from anyone else, but for some reason I’ve started feeling weird if I even see him with other guys.

‘I don’t know when it started but one time that really sticks out to me is when I came home and saw him and some guy making out on the couch. I don’t know how to describe what it was like to see that, except that for a moment I felt so bad I thought I was going to throw up. Alex was embarrassed (he didn’t think I’d be back for a while), but I told him it was okay since I was embarrassed too.

‘I felt bad for being as disgusted as I was, since there’s NO good reason for me to have a reaction like that. I thought maybe they just caught me by surprise and that’s why I reacted so strongly, but it turned out it wasn’t a one-time thing. After that, every time he has a guy over (not that often, but every once in a while) I just start feeling like shit and wishing that guy would leave, and I can’t stop thinking about what these guys might have done to him even though I don’t want to imagine that. It makes me really uncomfortable and grossed out. And these are just guys he fools around with, I don’t know what I’d do if he ends up getting an actual boyfriend.

‘Alex has started to notice and it’s affecting our friendship. The other day I came home right when some guy was about to leave, and the guy tried to be polite to me but I ended up being rude to him (don’t remember what I said, but it was really obvious I was pissed). When the guy left, Alex asked me why I was being an asshole. I didn’t know what to say, but then he asked if I had a problem with him sleeping with other guys. I said no. For some reason that pissed him off more and he said I can’t complain since I used to bring my fuckbuddy over and he was forced to see me being affectionate with her sometimes. (I was in an FWB situation with a girl in the early days of me and Alex living together, but I broke it off after a few months and I haven’t done anything with anyone since.) I agreed with him and told him I was just having a bad day and I don’t care who he sleeps with, but he looked more upset and told me he’s going to a friend’s place to cool off. I said okay. When he was leaving for some reason he casually said, “and you’ll be okay if I sleep with him as long as I do at his place and not ours, right?” Or something like that. I told him it’s none of my business what he does at someone else’s place, but when he said that I felt sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

‘He didn’t show up later that night even though he was supposed to hang out with me and my sister. He’s never blown me off before and it made me feel like shit, but part of it was my fault since I made him feel like I was judging him for sleeping with guys. Now he’s acting like nothing happened but I’m worried I might mess things up if it happens again. I want to keep him as a friend, but he’d be hurt if he knew that whenever I think about him with other guys it disgusts me.

‘How do I deal with this? I’ve never been homophobic but I’ve suddenly developed some kind of homophobia where just the idea of my roommate’s sex life makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t react like this to other gay people either, it’s just Alex. I don’t know if this means I’m only okay with gay people as long as I’m not living with them or what. Does anyone else have experience with this? I want to get over myself and stop whatever this is, but if I can’t I’m going to have to leave since the last thing I want to do is hurt Alex, and if I stay here and keep automatically judging him for his lifestyle that’s what’s going to happen.

‘tl;dr: Roommate is gay, I am not but I thought I was okay with him being gay until I realised I feel crappy when I see him with other guys and it’s started to affect our friendship. How to deal with this/stop being such a dick?’

One Redditor asked: ‘Are you sure that weird feeling isn’t jealousy…? i mean, this only seems to revolve around Alex specifically.’

And Mike responded: ‘I thought about that, but I don’t know what I’m meant to be jealous of. He definitely has a more active sex life than I do, but reacting like this to something like that seems really strange and irrational.’

The Redditor responded: ‘Yeah i thought maybe you don’t like seeing Alex with other people because you want his attention to yourself?’

‘The day I made the post, I met up with my sister Laura [24F] and I showed her the post. She read the whole thing and called me an oblivious walnut and said it sounds like I have a crush on Alex. The same conclusion some of you came to in the original post.

‘Anyway, she talked me through it and we confirmed I’m not as straight as I thought I was. She also pointed out something in my original post, where I said the more I tried to reassure him I didn’t mind who he slept with, the more he got upset. Also: how he brought my old FWB situation into it. I just thought he was understandably mad with me for being an asshole, but Laura thought it sounded like maybe Alex wanted me to be jealous? We moved on from that topic pretty quickly, though, since I couldn’t really handle the implications of that when I’d JUST started to understand that I like this guy.

‘The next few days were mostly me sitting on my ass trying to wrap my head around everything. I was scared of messing up our friendship and losing him, but I was even more scared that I might just let this pass without saying anything and then he gets a boyfriend and I have to see him with another guy…etc. Because if that happened I would probably have to end it anyway, since as we’ve established, I’m not great at dealing with him being with other guys.

‘Probably could have planned it better, but I told him. Right after a Tarantino marathon, if anyone’s interested, since nothing says romance like graphic violence. I told him I’ve been such a dick because I was jealous. I don’t think he got what I was getting at because he just laughed a little and said I didn’t have to be jealous since it wasn’t like I’d have any trouble finding people to sleep with me. No clue how I explained, it’s a blur. Luckily he saw how nervous I was so he knew I was serious.

‘We talked. Long story short: all that flirting was real, but Alex didn’t have any hope of it going further because of me being an oblivious “straight” guy. So he’s been trying to get over me. He laughed really hard when I told him about how I mistook my jealousy for homophobia, and he teased me by saying he’d never expected me to be the jealous type. Then again, we both ended up laughing a lot of out of nervousness and awkwardness. I’ve never seen him like that before since he’s usually pretty confident. In the end we agreed to maybe try something out, and we kissed. Never kissed anyone with a beard before, so…interesting experience, but also really good. (Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.)

‘Since then we’ve kind of been easing into the whole dating thing, I guess? I know this place is wary about roommate relationships and I get why, but it’s been great so far. We had our first proper date last weekend and it was incredible, though a bit weird since we’ve done that a thousand times already and this time there was a new context. At home we still do our normal thing, but sometimes we get distracted. Last night I almost burned dinner because I had to kiss him and we got kind of carried away, haha. We’re taking the whole sex thing slow though since I’ve never done anything with another guy before.

‘I’m a little worried about coming out to my family and my other friends, especially since this is almost as new for me as it would be for them. My parents are very openminded and my mom especially loves Alex. But I have some more conservative family members on my dad’s side, and I can already imagine them blaming Alex for turning me gay. They can also be pretty racist (Laura’s boyfriend is Latino so she knows all about that) and Alex is mixed. It’s something to think about in the longterm, I guess. Alex has said he doesn’t expect me to jump out of the closet right away, but if we end up calling ourselves a couple then I’m not going to keep him a secret or anything.

‘So…we’re trying. And I am not a homophobe, and nobody needed therapy. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, and I never would have expected this when I made that first post. It’s a good thing some of you picked up on the actual problem and tried to get it through to me despite me being an oblivious walnut, so…thanks, guys.’

Funniest self-realization in the world? ‘Plot twist: it turns out I don’t have any problem with Alex kissing guys if it’s me he’s kissing.’

I've invented a new system of government where before you pass any bill it has to be read by a philosopher, community leader, and a historian who are all entitled to reject the bill and/or beat the shit out of you for anything they feel is blatantly evil

I'd like to start implementing this in Florida

I'd throw in a scientist as well TBH

A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, a scientist, and a politician walk into a bar.

The politician slides the rest of them several stacks of paper.

They all go out to the parking lot.

A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, and a scientist walk into a bar.

What is this, some kind of joke?

The punchline was in the parking lot.

remember when the Sherlock fandom decided to dislike all the Elementary trailers on youtube in an attempt to get it cancelled before it even aired

No, but I believe it.

My favorite part was when they called the show homophobic because making Watson a woman made it harder for them to write slash fiction about two lead characters.

Remember when Elementary fans had to create their own tag to get away from the Sherlock fandom invading the ‘Elementary’ tag on Tumblr

Remember when Sherlock fans found it incomprehensible that an Asian woman was playing the role of Watson.  Never mind that both Holmes and Watson have been mice and dogs and robots and pieces of fruit in different media. 

Remember when the cast and crew of BBC Sherlock pretty much baited its fandom by being passive-aggressive whiny chits about the show on social media and in interviews.

Remember when Mark Gatiss retweeted that ‘Not Benedict Cumberbatch/Not Martin Freeman’ mock-poster. 

Remember when self-professed ‘militant feminist’ Louise Brealey (Molly Hooper) called the casting of Lucy Liu - the first time a woman would play the role of Watson in a major adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes stories - ‘gimmicky’.

Remember when Benedict Cumberbatch insinuated that Jonny Lee Miller took the role so he could ‘buy something nice for his wife.’

Remember when Martin Freeman called Lucy Liu a dog on live television and then brushed it off as a ‘joke.’

Remember when renowned feminist Victoria Cohen lost her shit in a Guardian article and frothed at the mouth for like 800 words on how Lucy Liu’s Watson “was an insult to British values”

Remember when renowned feminist Caitlin Moran wrote an entire article about how Asian Watson was “gimmicky” and “trying too hard”.

Remember when renowned fandom feminists was all about “SCREW WRITING STRONG WOMEN!!!! WRITE COMPLEX WOMEN!!!!!!” but collectively shat themselves and bent over backwards trying to justify their racism and how “Asian Watson is not progressive” and how “disinterested” they were in the Holmes/Watson relationship because it wasn’t about two white men eyefucking

don’t forget when elementary included a trans woman in the show and people reached trying 2 say that including her was “FORCING DIVERSITY” and “WASN’T REALISTIC” because she was in the same room as an asian woman 

I would sell my soul for more content like this

This is why puppets are the superior medium. You can't do this with CGI characters.

I want a beautiful girl with messy morning hair in an oversized t shirt and underwear sitting on top of me while we switch between talking and making out, is that too much to ask

being gay is just like. damn it tattoos are expensive. damn it piercings are expensive. damn it getting your hair dyed professionally is expensive. damn it combat boots are expensive. damn it therapy is

One of the weirdest things as a Millennial is explaining DIY to younger generations. Like, before we were couture, punk/alternative/goth/gay fashion was cheap and lowkey crappy. Army surplus boots and Doc Martens hurt to break in. Black was a popular hair colour because you didn’t have to bleach your hair first so you could do your own hair in the bathroom sink. You sewed patches onto a jean jacket because it was cheaper than buying a custom graphic t-shirt. If you wanted jeans ripped, you ripped them yourself. The point was fashion that was accessible to kids in Middle America.

But now the bar is so much higher and nobody gets Home Economics anymore. :/

tbh, this is something a lot of Alt kids need to learn, and need to learn NOW. 

Shit was cheap because that’s what we had access to. Cheap n dirty and now. 

You picked up jeans second third or even fourth hand and yea they had tears in them. Don’t know how to sew, that’s fine, use safety pins! We used waxed floss to sew on our patches because we knew it was stronger than thread but ALSO we had access to a random needle left lying around and the floss in the cabinet. 

It didn’t used to be High Fashion. It was us, in our basements and our friend’s rooms, doing things we saw other kids doing…. but ALSO, it was just… part of the lifestyle. We didn’t know leather care like we do now, but we know it NOW because of Gay Leatherfolk for the most part. We used red and black hair dye, yes, because we didn’t need to bleach it. We also used really dangerous methods to bleach our hair…. don’t do that. 

Learn from what’s available to  you now and be safer definitely, but don’t forget the DIY roots of the movement. You don’t need to be decked in Blackcraft and Dollskill to be cutting edge. You can paint your jacket yourself and use fabric modpodge to seal it, y’know? Then it’s truly one of a kind…. not the same jacket you’ll be seeing on a thousand other alt people at the next concert.

It’s crazy to me now seeing people get their green hair or whatever at a salon for like $100+. I remember in high school someone would get a bottle of developer and everyone would get whatever color they wanted, and we’d all do our hair in someone’s kitchen (whoever had the best sink sprayer, usually). Like, back then, if you wanted a COLOR you usually couldn’t get it at a salon. You had to buy the colored dye at the record store.

Are you part of an alternative community? Queer? Goth? Metal? Punk? Any sort of not-particularly mainstream? LEARN TO DIY.

When I was in school, we used Kool-Aid unsweetened packets to dye our hair. You can use it to dye wool yarn (an animal protein fiber) and it lasts forever, and hair is also an animal protein fiber, so it dyed us just as easily. If you wanted extra longevity, you mixed it with a little vinegar. Goth accessories didn’t appear in stores before Hot Topic, so we made our own with second hand clothes and scads of black lace.

Make Do and Mend, the subcultures edition.

If one did want to learn some DIY sewing skills, you coulkd try:

https://gothfashion.info

And honestly, DIY and thrifting are a lot of fun. Way more fun than scrolling through websites of things you can’t afford, anyway…

(Lilibat’s projects are an excellent way to learn to sew, can confirm, made a bunch of them back in The Day)

me walking into the animal shelter: hi id like the stupidest cat you have

sometimes my cat won’t eat her dinner so i thought i was tricking her into eating by putting a few treats on it but she’s actually tricked me into feeding her treats and i want a stupider cat

Literally what I said to the woman at the shelter. I want the dumbest cat you have

Look at him, he’s got no brain cells. You can hear the elevator music playing in his empty skull. I love him

you look into this animals eyes and you can tell absolutely nothing is going on in there i am so happy for you

“Long boy bob”

Dr Frankenstein is a gay man whose internalised homophobia destroyed his life and his relationship and no i will not be taking any questions

If Victor Frankenstein just let himself get completely railed by his good friend Henry and let himself explore the beauty of another man's body instead of letting his repressed feelings form into an obsession over creating the perfect male body with a working penis he could have avoided all that mess

Fellas, is it gay to want to create human life without the confines of compulsory heterosexuality and also to fixate on creating the perfect male body but also make him 8 feet tall

normalize not having sex until you feel comfortable :) normalize not having sex until you meet the right person :) no matter your age! :) i mean it! in your teens! your 20s! your 30s! :) also normalize these things without automatically tying them to some kind of religious or abstinence-based reasoning :) 

you giys are always posting about characters and well i just dont know any of those guys

Love me or hate me, you cant deny I’m bringing something to the table. Might not be good might not be bad but something’s definitely on the table now. Take it or leave it but something good or bad is on the table and I put it there

if anyone was wondering what the message known as the 340 cypher says:

Everything about this is hilarious to me because if you've been 'into' serial killer mysteries as long as I've been you've probably also sat though 10274748292 different people claiming this particular note would be the Big Reveal, how it 'has to be', because no one could crack it and then surprise bitch it's more of the same jackshit chickenscratch garbage he already sent you hilarious

The big reveal is that he didn’t know how to spell paradise.

me: *blocks a tag*

also me:

Me after opening the post:

That time Peter Parker was trained by Natasha Romanoff. 

It’s a spider thing

It’s a spider thing

Don’t you love how Peter can do it with his calves but Natasha has to use her inner thighs. This whole equality thing is great.

Thighs are stronger than calves, and you can get a tighter grip, as well as have a higher chance of breaking things. Peter was intending to disarm, Natasha was ready to kill. Natasha is a trained assassin, and Peter is a student who works for a newspaper. Given their backgrounds and experiences, it would be UNequal to have Peter using skills and disarming tactics that Natasha was trained to do so.

So yes, this whole equality thing is great.

Owned

This post is brilliant.

also peter has bALLS OK you dont want to SLAM YOUR FUCKING TESTICLES into someons fucking SKULL 

Reblogging for last comment. Laughing for 3257865 years

TUMBLR WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING ON THIS ABSOLUTELY BONKERS MATCH.COM COMMERCIAL FEATURING A LOVE STORY BEWTEEN SATAN AND THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE YEAR 2020????

W H A T

LOL, my mom told me about this :D

When your DM does the dialogue for the monsters but can’t do the voices.