I had to share this Sopranos clip that made me lose it last night.

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen

“new tumblr users you must know that likes are useless and do fuck all” incorrect! likes let me send a tiny little kiss to my beloved mutuals

the funniest thing ever just happened to me

im changing my name purely bc i don’t like it and we just told my family like a month ago. i haven’t been home since then but today i got back and my (extremely country) uncle gives me a pat on the back and goes “so i hear you’re my nephew now. proud of you, son” and i have to very gently say i am so so happy to hear that but i am still his niece just with a cooler name. and he throws his hat down on the table and goes “no! but ive been practicing!” so now he is calling me his nephew for fun

whatever i literally dont care 😎 <- cares so much that it feels like my organs are tearing themselves apart in my chest

Need everyone to experience this video with me.

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

"Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don't think you're stupid."

or

"Sorry I snapped at you. I didn't get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today."

is a better apology than

"I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you."

コマドリ（Japanese Robin）

the next time someone asks what this country is like i’ll just send them this

-  Velký noční hlídač / Watchman

- author of the videomaping Milan Cais 

-photography ©ČTK,  ©David Peltán, MAFRA.

how do we get them to stop doing that

how do we get them to build something in between and project a mouth to complete the 👁️👄👁️

when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever

Oh fuck I gotta pee. Wait wait, I can’t stand up I’m gonna fall over. Shit I haven’t eaten in like 23 hours. Damn I’m thirsty, maybe I should— fuck why am I nauseous? Oh, I didn’t eat, right. It’s WHAT time? 3AM? Do I even have time to eat? Shit, I forgot to take my meds earlier. Or did I? Damnit. Why is my head pounding, oh, right, haven’t eaten and I’m dehydrated… fuck I still gotta pee

*minimizes word document and stands up* My body:

The funniest thing in the world to me is when people write mermaids that are bothered by humans eating fish. Like do you think fish don’t eat each other? The ocean is full of little freaks that will eat whatever or whoever the fuck will fit in their mouths. If the mermaids haven’t been eating fish this whole time what do you think they’ve been eating? If the answer is humans, that doesn’t make it any less funny. They’ll eat the species that looks like the top half of them but won’t eat a species that looks like the bottom half? Peak comedy.

collection 

redditors fleeing their collapsing hellsite to go to a slightly different and less collapsed hellsite

Some turkey vultures 🖤

also on that note weird teenagers empassioned about niche interests are the backbone of this website. stop being mean to them

a 15 year old video game kinnie who reblogs stimboards and fanart and gifsets has infinitely more coolness than a 26 year old who slings around the r slur at people ever will. post.

this is cringe

it’s called authenticity and it won’t kill you.

apparently computers do dream of electric sheep

I’m glad that my hard drive dying got 79k funnyman points

for the redditors coming here, this is how we spread news of important events in the world, with a Destiel meme

For everybody who's been here a while and felt like Wiley E. Coyote just after running off the edge of the cliff when they scrolled down to find nothing below