*snickers* Last Week Tonight doesn’t even have guests…

College Confession #9

This one girl in my Spanish class asked for an answer to a question on our worksheet, and this guy told her what the word meant. My teacher promptly said, “Luke don’t be a vocab whore, giving it all away.”

- Indiana University

i saw a fake skeleton for sale today for $849 and i was like wtf i could get a real skeleton for free fuck that then i remembered murder is illegal

you’re all going to jail for reblogging this

George Lopez doesn’t give two fucks about you.

should I just put yonce for this so that it says be-yonce

i did it

this is what being in your 20’s is like

you dont have to agree with his policies but you have to admit hes the coolest president weve had ever

Usain Bolt posing with his winning tortoise at a tortoise race

are you telling me the fastest man in the world spends his free time racing slow ass animals

are you telling me the fastest man in the world has the fastest slowest animal

me

Reasons why I am single..

most people don’t appreciate Ed enough