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My Sims Have A Better Life Than Me

@o-christmas-bush

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fag
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unplagued

i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.

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shannananan

oh my god you managed to one up john green.

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fag

should you fight the signs?

Aries: lmao if u wanna get ya ass eviscerated
Taurus: they'll kill u with their mega death stare
Gemini: they fuckin fight dirty watch out
Libra: u might win, u might not
Pisces: pls fight them
Cancer: they'll drown u in their tears
Leo: their egos might crush u
Virgo: they will crush u verbally and then u will die
Aquarius: u think u should, but pls don't do it
Capricorn: destroy them all please
Sagittarius: mmm maybe
Scorpio: do I even have to say anything or
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gxlddustwoman

what ur instrument choice says about u

flute: fuck you
oboe: i hate myself. i hate myslef . i hate myself. i hate mysefl. i hate myself. i hate
clarinet: everyone wants to punch me in the fucking face.
bassoon: *falls over own feet*
soprano saxophone: what the fcuk
alto/tenor saxophone: i'm an annoying nerd but i think i'm cool
baritone saxophone: i listen to nickelback unironically
horn: I am so good at my instrument... sweaty :)
trumpet: i will never shut the fuck up
trombone: ever kissed a brass player ;;;;;;)
tuba: hehehehehehehe baap
baritone: i don't know my band teacher chose it for me
percussion: i just wanna get stoned
violin: i just wanna be fuCKING PERFECT GODD
viola: my clothes are all roughly the same color as oatmeal
cello: i will fuck you up and then cry
double bass: do you find my greasy hair and slightly too small pants sexy
piano: fuck off
#oboe
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ugly
xpcmdi

Types of kisses and their meaning

Forehead: Friendship Closed Eyelids: Thankfulness Tip of nose: Good luck Cheek: Happy to see you Lips: Love Earlobe/Neck: “I want you” , Lust, Desire Top of hand: Respect, loyalty Computer screen: I love you but I can’t ever have you (because you’re not real) 

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intensional

an actual conversation i overheard on the train

person 1: i'm not against gay marriage but i feel sorry for people with 2 dads
person 2: what? why?
person 1: they have to put up with twice the dad jokes
person 2: omfg