“Life is unpredictable. Rarely do things ever go exactly as planned. Sometimes, we’ll need to take risks to get to where we want to. So take that leap of faith. The universe will support you no matter where you end up.”
— Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
How to Overthrow Your Conditioning with Playfulness
The movement of daily life within human society unfolds as call-and-response playing out in various circumstances. Something happens and we react.
Most people believe that freedom and happiness means exerting specific control over our circumstances. In other words, getting what we want. Ultimately, however, all circumstances are temporary and limited. The happiness and freedom they offer, therefore, are just as temporary and limited.
We don't have full control over the events and circumstances of our lives. We have the right to put in any kind of effort to influence them but there is no right or guarantee to specific results.
Sound good? Let's talk about it pragmatically.
A reaction occurs when a person's conditioning triggers an action or viewpoint. Our conditioning is influenced by various factors such as preferences, judgments, imprints, identities, and past experiences. Often, we are only partially aware of these elements and focus more on the end result—the reaction itself.
Essentially, a reaction is the re-activation of past thoughts, perspectives, decisions, and beliefs, albeit adapted slightly to suit the present moment. It represents our conditioned self, limiting our freedom and making our choices predictable and trite.
On the other hand, a response is the flowering of freedom.
There are two ways to describe a response. The first description is perhaps the most relatable; I will call it the mindful response.
The mindful response is when a reaction unfolds within our awareness. The mindful part is that we are able to breathe and find the space to hear the wisdom of a reaction without believing or buying into it. This not only provides self-insight but it also allows the reaction's emotional charge to mature or release, depending on the circumstances. Then our matured and liberated emotion admixes with self-insight, synthesizing a response that is not limited by our past programming.
The mindful response is what it looks like to practice mindfulness in our daily life. Something happens and instead of acting out a reaction in the same old way, you allow the reaction to flow through you. Without the reaction's flustering influence, fresh insights blossom.
The second description is the playful response. Here, we encounter situations that would typically trigger a reaction, but instead, we remain unaffected. As we progress in spiritual practice, meditation, and self-work, we outgrow our triggers and conditioned responses. We discover the freedom to be as we are, crisply alive here and now, and our responses then arise from a non-conceptual intelligence that radiates from and through every cell in our body.
In this way, we can enjoy the play of our human experiences.
Breaking it down further, there are several key differences between a reaction and a response.
How someone reacts does not define who they truly are as a living being. It merely reflects the conditioning they carry. Understanding this, we realize that a reaction is not more authentic than a response; quite the opposite.
Coming from an older and more primitive version of the world, dominated by fight-or-flight decision-making for survival, reactions continue to propagate in our modern era. From polarizing news media to viral videos, the lowest common denominator continues to dull the flavor of reality.
Given this knowledge, how would you choose to live?
LY
“The heart must be stripped bare.”
— Robert Duncan, from “The H. D. Book,” first published c. January 2011
The positives of ‘putting yourself out there’ are worth it. Having a great conversation with a stranger will be worth the awkwardness of starting that exact conversation. Joining a small community of people you will see regularly is worth having to get through a scary first day. Getting your dream job is worth the scariness of chasing it. Don’t pick and choose experiences based on the level of ease now, but choose them based on how you want to come out of them.
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