just wanted to say that the reason this blog is blank (though it's not so blank now loool) is becos i post things/reblog things from my other side blogs. idk, just want to keep all my posts/reblogs organised into neat little categories (mainly fandoms) so i'll follow with this blog but i post/reblog with my other blogs
This article documents the severe and ongoing specimen neglect I witnessed over 12 months working at Florida State Collection of Arthropods. FSCA actively solicits donations, then picks and chooses what specimens to care about based on individuals' personal favorites. The rest are left to rot.
Please take a look and consider sharing this, it's extremely important for people (especially in science, taxonomy, natural history, museum curation, etc) to know how and why scientific material is being lost.
Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:
- Replacing a HDD with an SSD
- Adding RAM
- Graphics cards if you’re nasty
- Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you’re using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you’re using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)
- Customizing what runs on startup for your computer
Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:
- Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin
- adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren’t constantly reloading
- Closing some fucking tabs bud I’m sorry I know it hurts I’m guilty of this too
Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:
- Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.
- Correcting disk utilization errors
Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:
- Clearing cache and cookies on your browser
- Restarting the computer
- Changing your screen resolution
- Uninstalling unused browser extensions
Things that do not actually make your computer faster:
- Deleting files
- Registry cleaners
- Defragging your drive
- Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.
This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.
There are people saying “what does this mean” so:
Meaningfully Faster
- HDD means “hard disk drive” SSD means “solid state drive.” An HDD has a spinning platter and a mechanical arm that has to wiggle back and forth very quickly to read the information written on the platter, while an SSD is a silicon chip that has the information “flashed” into it (basically it takes a snapshot of bits with electricity - it’s unimportant how it works, just that it doesn’t require mechanical movement to access data, and is therefore MUCH faster).
- Installing an SSD does *not* require an M.2 slot and does *not* require a ton of expertise on most computers. There are many SATA SSDs available and if you want to replace your HDD all that you need to do is clone your hard drive and look up how to install your new SSD on ifixit (link in a bit).
- Your storage drive (SSD or HDD) is the drive that stores the files and programs on your computer. People often confuse long-term drive storage with “memory” and when they get low-memory warnings they think they need to delete stored files. This is inaccurate because:
- RAM is Random Access Memory - if is basically the “working memory” of your computer, it keeps track of all the things that your computer does/is doing. For example: if you are working in your browser, the browser is not saving everything that you’re doing to your desktop so everything that is going on in your browser is using RAM to remember what pages you’ve got open and what images are on them, etc. Same if you’re working in any other program: if you’re writing a word doc and you haven’t saved it in a while, all the changes are being tracked by the RAM but are not yet saved on your storage drive. “Low Memory” doesn’t mean you’re out of room for your computer to hold onto files, it means your computer is low on memory to think about stuff. Because programs are written to use more and more memory as time passes (which is a good thing, for the most part, but causes frustrating problems for people with older devices) older computers will struggle to run modern programs with the amount of RAM the older computers have in them.
- RAM comes in different speeds, and the speed of your RAM does matter but if you get RAM that matches the speed of your installed RAM you should experience better speeds from your computer. Some computers have the RAM directly soldiered to the motherboard and cannot have RAM added (this is pretty much true of all macs. I do not recommend buying macs.) but if your computer DOES allow you to add RAM it is generally an easy process - check IFixIt.Com for instructions: just search the model number of your computer and look at the replacement guide for RAM and you will be able to see if you can replace your RAM and see the steps to follow along if you want to do that. There are a large number of tools to look up what RAM will work in your computer. Personally I like the Crucial RAM Configurator tool. Just look up your computer and it will recommend compatible RAM. You don’t have to buy the Crucial RAM, you can use the Crucial RAM configurator to get the specs you need and then search for yourself by Size, Memory Technology, Speed, Format, and number of Pins.
- Graphics cards are for graphics processing and they’re “if you’re nasty” because adding a dedicated graphics card is kind of a big hurdle these days: computers are smaller inside than they used to be and graphics cards are big and they are also very expensive right now. Unless you are using a gaming laptop you likely cannot add a graphics card to your laptop, and unless you have at least a couple hundred dollars to spare you can’t add a graphics card to your desktop either. But also they will only speed up a very specific subset of applications; if you don’t do anything that requires a GPU to get shit done (video rendering, really complicated math, etc) then it isn’t going to make your computer faster.
- Norton and McAfee run in the background of your computer at all times and can suck up a lot of valuable memory, especially if they decide to randomly start a scan or check back in with the mothership to make sure you’ve paid for another seven years. They are annoying and they can slow everything else down - McAfee in particular is notorious for this. Modern Windows Operating systems (10 and 11) have a lot of security features built in at baseline and Windows Defender is a perfectly functional whole-device antivirus for almost all users. It was never true that macs couldn’t have software infections or couldn’t be infected with malware, it’s just that *people used to write fewer malicious softwares for mac( and NOW there are a lot more infections written for OSX *and* mac users often think they don’t need antivirus. Buds. You do need antivirus. Since Bitdefender only has a free virus scanner for Mac, not antivirus, and Sophos Free is only good for a month, and Avast has recently sold customer data, try Avira.
- If you hit Ctrl+Alt+Del and click on “task manager” you will find a list of applications that run on startup. Programs that run on startup are turned on and active every time you start your computer, regardless of whether you use the program or not. So, for instance, let’s say you have an HP printer and there are drivers for the printer on your computer but you only print things maybe twice a year. If your HP Printer Print Utility is set to run on startup that means that every time you start your computer it wakes up and turns on this program, which slows down your startup time and takes processing power in the background. So just disable it on startup and only start the program when you need it. The only difference here is that it’ll take a few seconds to start the utility when it’s time to print. Things that I’ve got disabled on startup include: Microsoft Edge, Adobe, and Cortana.
Faster Browsing
- You should be using Firefox anyway because Firefox rules and in literally hundreds of tests performs as well or better than chrome. If someone says that firefox is ridiculously slow it is because they’ve either set up a really weird configuration, have had the install go wrong, or just don’t understand what they’re doing. But ASIDE from that you should use Firefox with Ublock Origin because Ublock Origin is an *amazing* adblocker that doesn’t whitelist ads and lets you do things like manage cookies and block annoying popups and a bunch of other stuff. And as of 2023 it will be impossible to install Ublock Origin on Chrome so you may as well switch to Firefox now and live that ad-free life. Ad-blocked browsing speeds up your browser because your computer isn’t spending extra energy on loading ads and less shit loading means less RAM utilization means faster computing.
- Auto Tab Discard is an extension that allows you to set tabs to sleep after an amount of time that you determine. You can customize your experience so that it doesn’t sleep tabs with partially filled forms, or doesn’t sleep tabs with media playing in them, or doesn’t sleep a specific tab for a session, or doesn’t ever sleep tabs from a specific website. Many people use OneTab, which basically turns your tabs into a bookmark list that opens the page when you click in OneTab, but I personally prefer Auto Tab Discard - neither of those are “better” than the other, it’s just a question of what works for you.
Faster if you are having an actual problem
- Open tabs eat RAM. Your computer is expending memory thinking about what’s on all of those pages and even if most of them are slept you probably have more awake tabs than you need.
- Malwarebytes has a free virus/malware scanning and removal tool that you can download and run to identify and remove malware or viruses that may be stealing your information and running background programs that are fucking up your speeds. If you think your computer might be slow because you might have a virus, go to malwarebytes, download the free version, run a scan, and follow the instructions that it gives you.
- Disk utilization errors happen for a number of reasons and they will all slow down your computer. Here are some of the reasons they happen and some ways to fix them. If you hare having a persistent disk usage error issue *DO NOT* replace your HDD with an SSD until it is resolved because these errors can destroy an SSD.
Superficially Faster
- Your browser cache and cookies are the things that your browser remembers between sessions: it might be logins for various sites or the logos of your homepage or a bunch of other stuff. If your browser is running super slow because you haven’t cleared cache/cookies for a long time, doing this can help because it will basically make your browser forget about the cookies it has been carrying around for five years for a site you haven’t logged into since four years and seven months ago. These are tiny pieces of data but they can add up over time which is why they will make your browsing experience faster if you haven’t done it in years but won’t make a difference if you clear your cookies and cache monthly. Doing this will log you out of all the sites you’re logged into (which shouldn’t be a huge deal, but you do need to be ready to log in a bunch, so you should HAVE A PASSWORD MANAGER TO MAKE THAT EASIER). This will make your browser run a bit faster, but if your computer is slow for non-browser reasons or if your cache/cookies have been cleared recently it will have no impact on your computer speeds.
- Restarting your computer will speed your computer up for a bit because it will shut down all the programs you had running and clear your computer’s RAM of all the stuff it was remembering for as long as you had those programs open. This is, again, a superficial improvement, and if you have, say, restarted your computer three times today it is unlikely that restarting again will do anything for you. But yeah if it’s been a couple weeks, friend, restart your computer it is tired and it wants to run patches and it needs to forget the twenty docs you’re editing for a minute so it can get its head on straight.
- Reducing your screen resolution can make your computer run a bit faster if you’re doing graphics-heavy stuff and have really shit built-in graphics support, but realistically all it is likely to do is make your computer look weird.
- Your browser extensions run on startup and cause your browser to use more RAM at baseline; you should be installing minimal browser extensions and uninstalling any that you don’t need. If it’s been a while since you checked your extensions go uninstall the unused ones right now and restart the browser and you may speed up a bit. But the majority of people in the world run pretty minimal extensions so this is unlikely to fix most people’s problems.
Will not make your computer faster
- Unless your storage drive is within 10% of its maximum capacity it is in no way fucking up your speed. If it is within 10% of capacity go delete whatever’s in your downloads folder, clear out your temp files, and empty your recycle bin. If that doesn’t take care of it, use a backup drive or a thumb drive and copy off the photos, videos, and music you don’t use very often, and only keep what you’re using on your computer. If you’ve got an SSD having too little storage available can fuck with the lifespan, so aim to keep at least 10% free.
- Registry cleaners are supposed to clean your computer’s registry; basically they’re supposed to look at the index of all the stuff your computer knows and delete redundant or outdated entries on the index. However it has been literal decades since a registry cleaner would be able to meaningfully improve performance while they can still absolutely fuck your computer up bad enough that it needs a reinstall and a lot of them are just straight up malware, some of them are actual for-realsies ransomware, a bunch of them sell your data, and you don’t need ANY of them. If you don’t know enough to fuck around with your registry by hand you shouldn’t trust some random ass software that has a history of data breaches and virus infections associated with it. Fuck all registry cleaners.
- Manual drive defragging has been obsolete on Windows Machines since Windows 7 shipped with an automatic defragging utility in 2011. In the past when you saved a file to a hard drive it might save that file in a bunch of little pieces scattered all over the platter, so accessing that file meant accessing all the *fragments* of that file and “defragging” meant taking some time every once in a while to put files together into whole files instead of fragments. But then eleven years ago Windows made that process automatic, so unless you have *seriously* fucked up your computer somehow it shouldn’t be an issue, and if it is an issue you can run a defrag and then make sure automatic defragging is enabled. But that whole conversation is probably moot since SSDs don’t need to be defragmented (and defragging them actually adds to the device wear). So basically if your computer actually DOES need a defrag it is probably more fucked than you initially thought and unless that is the case then it is already defragging so doing an additional defrag won’t make anything faster and/or might cause extra wear to an SSD.
If you are using an older computer and it is tortuously slow and you can’t upgrade the RAM or swap in an SSD but you *can* install software, I would strongly recommend installing Linux.
The vast majority of people these days use computers primarily for web browsing and occasionally use an office suite. Most people don’t even store their music or photos on their computers these days. If your computer is basically an internet machine that you don’t use for anything other than browsing and basic word processing/spreadsheets, then there is no reason not to switch to Linux.
I would recommend installing Linux Lite, which is a well-supported, widely-used distro that most computers built within the last twenty years should be able to run. It’s called “Lite” because it is an operating system that requires minimal processing, storage, and memory to run.
To do this you will need:
- A 4GB USB stick or a blank DVD to create installation media
- An internet connection to download the software
- Another computer or phone that you can use to follow the instructions, or a printed/written copy of the installation guide
- A computer on which to install Linux. Installing Linux as the sole operating system on this computer (which is my recommendation here) will mean that everything else on the computer is deleted. Save all of your files/movies/music/etc. to a backup drive or another computer before you install Linux, because installing a new OS will delete literally everything on the computer and make it impossible to get back.
Here is the Linux Lite help manual, I’ve linked you directly to the step-by-step installation guide. If you get to a step that you don’t understand, search the terms that you’re unfamiliar with phrased as questions like “why do I need an ISO to install linux?” or “how do I enter UEFI BIOS on my version of Windows?”
Follow the instructions for installing Linux Lite, and then you can install software on your new OS. Linux Lite comes bundled with Libre Office, which is a free office suite like Microsoft Office that has programs similar to Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. It installs with Chrome, so I would recommend installing Firefox and uninstalling Chrome as soon as you’re able to get on the internet.
After that you can pick and choose from a wide variety of linux-compatible software and you can use your computer as a regular computer. I’d say that it’s probably a good idea to be picky about what software you install, and to try to keep your computer as lean as possible if you’re trying to get a longer life out of an old device.
There are a lot of people in the notes who are saying “my computer can’t even load four tabs” or “my computer can’t even open the software I need to do this” and if that is your computer I think you’ve pretty much got nothing to lose from installing Linux. If your computer is essentially unusable in Windows then it’s probably not going to be *less* functional in Linux, unless you’re keeping the computer the way that it is for some very specific software you’re using.
A lot of people think that they can’t uses Linux because it’s entirely in the command line or doesn’t have a graphic interface or something, but most linux distros only look about as different to users as windows does to mac or vice versa.
This is what the Linux Lite default desktop looks like:
It’s got a start menu and a task bar and folders on the desktop, same as any other computer. It’s very easy to use and has the help manual installed right there as soon as you’re up and running so that you can troubleshoot your way through any issues.
Really, seriously: if your computer is slow as fuck and all you use it for is web browsing, this will make your computing experience significantly better without having to buy anything but a thumb drive.
People are reblogging just the first section of this post and asking what these things mean, so I’m reblogging this in hopes that they’ll see the comprehensive update in the notes.
NSFW/Smut Dialogue Prompts - masterpost
I needed more than just 100 prompts that people can request so I combined these x x x x posts into one. Feel free to reblog and use them for your own blogs and fics!
- “Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop."
- "Aw, you’re so cute when you blush like that.”
- “Aw, your legs are trembling~ does it feel that good?”
- “Baby, it’s cold outside.”
- “Bet I can make you come without ever touching you.”
- “Breed me!”
- “Can you guys just fuck already?”
- “Car sex looks so much easier in the movies. "
- "Catch me if you can!”
- “Christ, put some clothes on!”
- “Cum all over my face”
- “Cum for me.”
- “Did I just say that out loud?”
- “Did you come inside?!”
- “Do you like it? I put it on just for you.”
- “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?”
- “Don’t treat me like a princess”
- “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
- “Don’t cover your mouth… I like hearing you.”
- “Don’t talk, just spread your legs"
- “Don’t you dare to pull out.”
- "Don’t you know how to knock?!”
- “Fine, but… only if we go slow, okay?”
- “Finish inside me, I mean it .”
- “First one to cum is the loser.”
- “Forget the bed… let’s do it right here.”
- “Here, let me show you how to do it.”
- “Home is too far away. No one’s going to see us here."
- "How long do we have?”
- “I can’t wait until we’re alone. There are so many things I want to do to you right now.”
- “I could watch you ride me all day."
- "I don’t care about consequences.”
- “I don’t have to be inside you to make you feel good…”
- “I don’t like the blindfold… I want to see you!”
- “I like it when you touch me there."
- "I like your toys. Can I have them in me? ”
- “I swear this was an accident!”
- “I think you deserve a treat.”
- “I want to see those pretty little lips wrapped around my cock.”
- “I want you to fill me.”
- “I wanna fuck you right up against the window.”
- “If I’d known how much you liked to be watched I would’ve invited him/her/them sooner.”
- “If we get caught, I’m blaming you”
- “If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning?”
- “Is this sofa strong enough for both of us?"
- "I’ll call in sick again.”
- “I’ll do anything you want me to do to you, but you have to say it out loud.”
- “I’m gonna marry you just for doing that.”
- “I’m in heat./ I’m horny. ”
- “I’m not gonna stop leaving marks till I’m sure everyone will know you’re mine.”
- “I’ve been thinking about doing this all day."
- "Just sit back and let me give you a show.”
- “Keep doing that, and I’ll cum in no time"
- “Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.”
- "Leave your hand there, sweetheart, it feels good."
- "Let me show you why we should stay in bed. ”
- “Let’s do it in the bathroom, you can be as messy as you want.”
- “Let’s sneak in and do it there.”
- “Lick it. Right there.”
- “Looks like someone wants to be a dad/mom.”
- “Make sure I won’t be able to walk tomorrow”.
- “My cum’s dripping out, let me push it back in you.”
- “Oh, look who’s not wearing any underwear~"
- "On all fours, right now!”
- “Please tell me you got protection.”
- “Please, let me taste you.”
- “Please, ruin me.”
- “Round 2, baby” (or any number, lol)
- “Someone’s happy to see me."
- "Stop undressing me with your eyes and start using your teeth.”
- “Swallow. All of it.”
- “That is kinky even by my standards…”
- “That position looks impossible enough, let’s try it.”
- “That’s a nice way to start a day”
- “That’s it, keep cumming.”
- “They’re all watching the movie. They’re not even going to notice.”
- “Three is not a crowd. Three is just a start.”
- “WOAH- is that going to fit?”
- “Were you just masturbating?”
- “We’re already late… do you want to be more late?”
- “We’re gonna need a bigger bed.”
- “We’ve been doing it for three hours… How come you’re not tired?” (or any number, lol)
- “What a nice little sound, I think I’ll bite there again.”
- “What are you doing in my bed?!"
- "What else are you hiding under there?”
- “What if I want them to hear/see us?”
- “What the fuck, that was amazing. Do it again."
- "Who cares if everyone’s watching?”
- “You are better than any toy I’ve tried.”
- “You look so hot when you dance.“
- “You really do love drinking my cum, don’t you?”
- "You saw me naked!”
- “You taste so sweet/salty”
- “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
- “Your head between my legs sounds good right now."
- "You’re bigger than I expected.”
- “You’re mine, and I don’t share.”
- “You’re so cute when you’re all tied up and needy…..”
- “You’re so flexible…”
- “You’ve got too many clothes on.
- “Do I look like I’m messing around? Do I look like I won’t punish you?”
- “Fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been good.”
- “Move an inch and you won’t be coming tonight.”
- “You look just about good enough to eat.”
- “Take your clothes off. Right now.”
- “We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?”
- “Hands behind your back.”
- “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
- “Is it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?”
- “Beg for it.”
- “Be a good girl/boy for mommy/daddy.”
- “I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
- “You’re so in for it when we get home.”
- “You can take it, you’ve done it before.”
- “Just a little more.”
- “I won’t apologise for marking you up, everyone should know you’re taken.”
- “Suck on my fingers.”
- “You look so good with my hands around your neck.”
- “Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.”
- “Kiss me properly.”
- “You’re so wet.”
- “Look how good you take it.”
- “My baby, you did so well.”
- “God, you feel amazing.”
- “Swallow. All of it.”
- “Faster! Please, let me come!”
- “Do think you deserve a reward/punishment?”
- “Don’t make a mess, baby.”
- “Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.”
- “Stay still, don’t move your hips.”
- “How do you want it?”
- “I don’t care if it takes all night, you will submit.”
- “Show me how much you missed me.”
- “Did you come already?”
- “Can you use your hand?”
- “Harder.”
- “It’s not too tight, is it?”
- “I want to see you, want to watch you come.”
- “Enough, please, I can’t take anymore!”
- “That’s so fucking hot.”
- “What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?”
- “Spread your legs for mommy/daddy, I want to see you.”
- “Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”
- “Holy shit, you came pretty quickly.”
- “Do you need to use your safeword, darling?”
- “Do you know what happens when you misbehave?”
- “Are you holding back? Don’t.”
- “Shall we put that mouth to better use?”
- “You’re going to come untouched, do you understand?”
- “I want it. I want to taste you.”
- “Don’t think so much, just let your body take control.”
- “Won’t you help me? Please?”
- “I don’t like getting off on my own.”
- “Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.”
- “It’s my thigh or nothing, I’m not helping you get off.”
- “I want you so bad.”
- “You seem more sensitive than usual.”
- “No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.”
- “Turn over, baby.”
- “Come for me, you’ve done so well.”
- “Again! Please, again!”
- “Touch yourself.”
- “I said I’d take care of you, did you think I wouldn’t follow through on that?”
- “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can make me feel like you do.”
- “I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.”
- “Please! Give it to me!”
- “So good for me, look at how much you came.”
- “Shh, just look at me, baby.”
- “I’ll take care of you.”
- “Where did this attitude come from?”
- “You like it that much, hm?”
- “I need it! Please!”
- “God, you love it like this, don’t you?”
- “Don’t tease me.”
- “Please, I can’t sit still.”
- “You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”
- “I need you. I need you both, right now.”
- “You know, I could always get you off right here, right now.”
- “I can be good, so good! I swear!”
- “You didn’t come yet, let me-”
- “Do you wonder what it is that makes me scream?”
- “We have to make this quick.”
- “You’re easy to please.”
- “Why not tonight? I’m even wearing something pretty.”
- “Why are you being so gentle with me? I like it when you’re rough.”
- “Does it make you nervous when I stare?”
- “It’s hot when you talk back.”
- “You’re so messy.”
- “Your thighs are shaking so much.”
- “I know what I like, I know my limits.”
- “Be good for me and I’ll untie you.”
- “I can’t- please- I can’t-”
- “That’s good, baby, keep doing that.”
- “Just relax for me, I’ll make it feel good.”
- “Quiet, baby, the others will hear.”
- “I had this dream and- fuck- you couldn’t keep your hands of me.”
- “I was good while you were gone! I didn’t even touch myself.”
- “I never thought I’d hear you say that, fuck, that’s hot.”
- “I want more, please, give me more!”
- “You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?”
- 1“don’t make me take you home and punish you. or, is that what you want, slut?”
- “move an inch and you won’t be coming tonight”
- “you know, you always look better when i mark you up”
- “you’re not going out in that outfit”
- “take off your clothes. right now”
- “you look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat”
- “don’t give me that look”
- “you’re more than just a one night stand”
- “what if somebody sees us?”
- “you’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught”
- “so desperate for it, aren’t you? if you want it, you better start taking it”
- “i told you, you’re mine”
- “you belong to me”
- “would you rather fuck him/her instead of me?”
- “i love it when you moan my name”
- “no panties. you need me that bad?”
- “don’t cum yet”
- “i love it when you talk dirty”
- “be a good girl and spread your legs”
- “like what you see?”
- “open your mouth for me, baby”
- “beg for it”
- “i don’t care how good it feels, you better not come until i tell you to”
- “i bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. we’ll see how cute you look later when i get you home”
- “be a good girl for mommy/daddy”
- “i’m going to ruin you”
- “you’re in trouble now”
- “take off your clothes”
- “did i say you could stop?”
- “i love the way you look with my fingers inside of you”
- “you keep acting like a brat and i’ll take you over my knee right here. i don’t care how many people are watching”
- “don’t make me tell you twice”
- “you taste like candy”
- “the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh”
- “touch yourself for me”
- “is that my hoodie?”
- “you can take it”
- “keep your eyes open for me, baby”
- “behave”
- “there’s only one bed”
- “if you can’t sleep then...how about we have sex instead?”
- “if you interrupt me one more time, so help me god”
- “you better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are”
- “look at you. i’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking”
- “want some help with that?”
- “come here. you can sit on my lap until i’m done working”
- “you look so pretty on your knees like that”
- “did you touch yourself while i was gone?”
- “you’re not leaving the house wearing that”
- “look at what you do to me”
- “stay quiet”
- “i want you inside me”
- “you feel so good”
- “suck on my fingers and get them nice and wet for me”
- “you look so good with my hands around your neck”
- “you’re so wet”
- “you did so good for me, baby”
- “could (s)he make you feel as good as i do?”
- “if i have to stop what i’m doing, you won’t be able to walk for the next week”
- “don’t worry, i’ll take good care of you”
- “be a good girl and spread your legs for me”
- “you deserve a reward for being so good for me today. what would you like it to be?”
- “what did you just say?”
- “such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”
- “pushing back against my fingers already? how pathetic”
- “you have no idea how much i want you”
- “if you don’t like my teasing then why are you moaning?”
- “say it”
- “come one more time for me, baby. i know you can do it”
- “god, you feel amazing”
- “how do you want it?”
- “don’t fucking touch what isn’t yours”
- “i know a workout you might actually enjoy”
- “i had no idea you were into this kind of thing”
- “i’ve never done this before”
- “spend the night with me?”
- “please don’t stop”
- “what are you doing in my bed?”
- “stop distracting me”
- “if i have to pull over, you wont be able to walk for the next week”
- “i don’t care if it takes all night, you will submit”
- “harder”
- “is that a tattoo?”
- “do you know how beautiful you are? it’s truly distracting”
- “you know i don’t like to be teased”
- “just shut up and fuck me”
- “mind if i join?”
- “we’re in public”
- “slowly, baby. i’m not going anywhere”
- “do you need to use your safeword?”
- “aww, poor baby. do you want me to take care of it for you?”
- “no one’s ever touched me like this”
- “turn over, baby”
- “you know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you came in”
- “i see the gift i got you fits well”
- “come for me. you’ve done so well”
- “you know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck”
- “just relax for me, i’ll make you feel good”
- “i was good while you were gone! i didn’t even touch myself”
- “does it make you nervous when I stare?”
- "You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up."
- "You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat."
- "How do you feel about adding another person to the mix?"
- "You'd better be quiet if you don't want to get caught."
- "You look good all soaking wet."
- "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you."
- "Oh my god you're so much better than the last person I was with."
- "If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat."
- "I don't care how good it feels you'd better not cum until I tell you to."
- "Look, I'm not into choking but I wouldn't mind if you grabbed me by the neck every once in a while."
- "I bet you think you're real cute letting them put their hands all over you. We'll see how cute you look later when I get you home."
- "You don't have to be gentle with me, I don't break easily."
- "Touch yourself for me."
- "Do you think you deserve to be punished?"
- "You take my fingers so well don't you?"
- "Shut up and take your pants off."
- "When I get home I expect you to be undressed and waiting on all fours for me."
- "Are you wearing my shirt?"
- "Do you need me to finger you first?"
- "You'd better be quiet or everyone's going to know what a naughty little slut you are."
- "Did I stutter? Do as you're told!"
- "Look at you, I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking."
- "I can't wait to be on my knees for you later."
- "Maybe if I punish you it'll help you remember who you belong to next time."
- "Do you want it on your back or would you like to be on your stomach?"
- "Suck on my fingers and get them nice and wet for me."
- "Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me."
- "If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself."
- "Take it off. Slowly."
- "Such a needy little thing, aren't you?"
- "Why don't you go put on something pretty for me?"
- "Kitten, don't make me tell you twice."
- "Pushing back against my fingers already? How pathetic."
- "I love the sounds you make when you come undone."
- "Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to."
- "You'd better watch your fucking mouth."
- "Did I say you could stop?"
- "I need you. Now!"
- "I'm so sick of your voice. Why don't you come over here and put your mouth to better use?"
- "I love the way you look with my fingers inside you."
- "You keep acting like a little brat and I'll take you over my knee right here, I don't care how many people are watching."
- "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."
- "Don't you want to play with me?"
- "Yes! I mean yes, Sir!"
- "When we get home I'm cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore."
- "Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this?"
- "You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?"
- "I can't wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin."
- "You look so good on your knees like that."
- "I only want to please you."
- "Did you touch yourself while I was gone?"
- "Are you going to be good from now on?"
- "Is that a tattoo?"
- "These walls are pretty thick, which means you and I can be as loud as we want."
- "Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don't we see how many times I can make you cum right now."
- "Come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you."
- "I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now."
- "Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting."
- "So desperate for it, aren't you? Well, if you want it so bad you'd better start taking it."
- "Please? I'll be good, I promise!"
- "If you don't change out of those shorts and into some pants I'll have them around your ankles by lunch time."
- "I bet all our neighbors can hear you, I bet they all know what a dirty little slut you are."
- "Open your mouth."
- "I never knew someone could cum that fast just from a few fingers."
- "Pull my hair!"
- "If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I'm going to bend you over that bed."
- "If you want to cum you'd better beg."
- "You know I don't like to be teased."
- "Come here, baby, let Mommy/Daddy take care of you."
- "Say my name over and over again and, once you think you've said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who's making you feel good."
- "I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me."
- "Maybe I should leave you like this, that way anyone who wanted to use you could have a go with you. Would you like that?"
- "I wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it."
- "Wow, I think you're blushing even redder than the vibrator inside you."
- "You know, you look real pretty when you cry."
- "I think I like you better with a gag in your mouth."
- "Tell me what you like."
- "Shh, don't worry, I'll take very good care of you."
- "Look at you, grinding against everything, you're really desperate for it. Aren't you?"
- "How do you feel about two at once?"
- "Is that a thong?"
- "Yeah, that's it, baby, just like that."
- "Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you?"
- "I love it when you dress up for me."
- "Did you dress up just for me?"
- "Let me show you what happens to little brats who don't follow the rules."
- "Think you can handle that much?"
- "Mmm, good morning to you too."
- "Just pull the car over!"
- "What's wrong? I thought you liked teasing."
- "Aww, is my little princess/prince getting shy?"
- "Come on, take it all on your own like a good little pet."
- "It's okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I'm between your legs."
- "Be a good girl/boy and do what I tell you."
- "That tickles."
- "Were you touching yourself without permission?"
- "I think you forgot to lock the door, that means anyone could walk right in and see you like this."
- "I see the gift I got you fits well."
- "You know, there wasn't a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in."
- "Call me selfish, but I don't ever want anyone else to touch you."
100 Drabble Challenge: Whump Edition
The Challenge: write a hundred drabbles, exactly 100 words each, for a hundred brief prompts! I’ve seen some of these floating around but not one specifically whump-themed. As such, I’m doing my duty!
- Ache
- Burn
- Cut
- Darkness
- Faint
- Cough
- Stranded
- Weak
- Temperature
- Stumble
- Chains
- Slap
- Hunger
- Thirst
- Tremble
- Sob
- Hide
- Knife
- Mockery
- Revenge
- Gag
- Strangle
- Pet
- Bedridden
- Hallucination
- Distrust
- Ensnare
- Blindfold
- Sore
- Fall
- Pinned
- Ransom
- Escape
- Comatose
- Shock
- Tissues
- Bath
- Retch
- Exposed
- Swollen
- Bitterness
- Left Behind
- Shove
- Hoarse
- Whip
- Sweat
- Band-Aid
- Punishment
- Worry
- Lies
- Bite
- Rage
- Blurry Vision
- Crutches
- Stress
- Heat
- Infection
- Dragged
- False Smile
- Car Trunk
- Grudge
- Breakdown
- Wheeze
- Shot
- Unsteady
- Bedside Manner
- Cage
- Whimper
- Scratch
- Threat
- Toss and Turn
- Lonely
- Vertigo
- Pale
- Buried
- Overload
- Argument
- Painkillers
- Pressure
- Therapy
- Glazed Eyes
- Vigil
- Cornered
- Thrash
- Dangling
- Gone Wrong
- Overworked
- Scars
- Oxygen
- Cold Floor
- Tearstains
- Terror
- Impossible Choice
- ER
- Bruises
- Forced to Watch
- Bloodshot
- Defiance
- Broken
- Loss
commission prices for 2022
writing has always been a passion of mine and now i'm actively trying to make it so that i writing can not only be my passion but my livelyhood.
hi, my name is naomi. if you're on this blog and reading my comission prices, you've probably seen my writing floating around tumblr or ao3. i've written numerous fanfictions about numerous fandoms and have all done it pretty much pro bono.
now, if you want, you can have a fully customised piece of your own!