The divorce was not Han’s fault. A couple can’t survive their kid becoming a genocidal fascist. I would also be put off if my kid decided to join the life path of my wife’s fascist dad. If I was married.
Did they actually get divorced even? Or was Han like “I’m taking some time to digest the fact your brother tried to kill our kid and our kid decided to go down the life path of your dad who brutally tortured me. Still love you though. Bye.”
It’s not Leia’s fault but at the same time. Those child murdering generics didn’t come from the Solo side of the family.
“Ben, I just want to tell you that I love your mother very much and the divorce is 100% without a doubt absolutely your fault.”
I think we should start referring to historical figures with absurdly grand titles by the most prosaically literal translations we can come up with. Like, "Charlemagne"? "Carolus Magnus"? Fuck you, your name is "Big Chuck".
Jesus Christ? You mean Greasy Josh?
"Jesus Christ" is an especially fun one because while yes, it does work out to "Josh, who has been anointed (with oil)", if you chase down the etymology, khrīstós – and hence christ – more properly refers to the act of rubbing, without reference to the substance that's being rubbed on. Thus, you can make an argument that "Jesus Christ" is most literally understood as "Josh, who has been rubbed"; I have no idea how to render that into modern colloquial English, but this is Tumblr – I'm sure we have an idea or two.
Ground-Upon Josh
Jewish prayer book from Kaifeng, China, written with Chinese and Hebrew characters
obviously fred varies in personality and interests based on the era and incarnation but idk why people say he's a jock when he's a perfect candidate for theater tech. his main skillset is building and staging elaborate multi part traps. in some of the movies he's also daphne's cameraman which means he also has the different but related skillset of av kid. he's probably a film nerd who loves classic horror movies for the practical effects, he probably makes everyone sit down to watch the thing and refuses to shut up about puppetry the entire time. he probably started mystery inc to make found footage horror movies and accidentally stumbled on a guy in a ghost costume on the way
this post has been going around for a while now which i think is great, and if anyone wants to make art or fic inspired by it i welcome that. but what i really want is for some enterprising young screenwriter to wait til the writers strike is over and then come up with a spec script, get a deal with whatever dystopian media conglomerate currently owns the rights to the scooby doo franchise, and get this put into an official show. i want to see a canon scene where fred jones works on a set for his school's production of my fair lady while wearing a reanimator tshirt
Husband = בעל/Ba'al, with a ע
Onion = בצל/Batzal, with a צ
when ever I start hearing the horns of the apocalypse I just say out loud to myself "the tumpet. bwaaa" and it makes me feel better every time
putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce
a severely underrated feature of steam is that it'll be like "hey your friend you haven't spoken to since you were both like 14 is currently playing Kramer's Quest for Hentai VR"
It’s kind of interesting that Dracula goes on and on about how being notably foreign in England will make him friendless, for “a stranger in a strange land, he is no one; men know him not—and to know not is to care not for.” Meanwhile no one in Bistritz knows Jonathan, and yet they weep for him, press gifts upon him, beg him to turn back, and even risk their lives to try to get him away from danger.
Maybe the count makes no friends in strange lands because he just sucks.
@arysthaeniru you’re so right though you’re SO right, and it gets you coming and going, doylist and watsonian, because just as Dracula would be shunned for being a scary foreign eastern european, Stoker is also expecting his readers to distrust him for being a scary foreign eastern european.
vampires are monsters that infiltrate our good proper high society by pretending they belong, so they can corrupt and prey upon the innocent. that’s their shtick. this is why so many vampires are queer, because homophobic societies usually think queerness is something you can be converted to and/or catch like a disease. (also vampires are frequently about giving in to your dark urges, and then there’s repressed sexuality etc etc, but I digress.) and it’s DEFINITELY why the oldest modern vampires (Dracula, Carmilla, that guy Polidori wrote about in The Vampyr, that guy Byron’s ex wrote about when she was trying to get over him) are always foreign! because british self-identity at the time (especially for wealthier people) was about as bound up in colonialist/imperialist xenophobia as it is possible to be.
it’s the orientalism again! we can’t escape it! it’s the backbone of this book!
thinking that mr. brightside, a usamerican song by a usamerican band which is one of the most popular songs of the last 30 years, is something that is only popular among brits is funny enough on its own but to say sweet caroline, a song by usamerican icon neil diamond, which is a mainstay of boston sports specifically and usamerican events across the country generally, is also a song only brits know is just hysterical you’ll have to drag me off the internet by my fucking toenails i love it here
New hairstyle “monkhawk” which is like the tonsure of a medieval European monk gelled to stick straight up forming a basket-like shape
Here’s a photo of the band evanescence playing donkey konga in 2004.
so that was the secret to their beautiful music…
And they’re not alone
do not. Sell my husband twelve fascinating issues of Zoobooks and the Tiger Poster.