theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can’t wait to take him on little adventures

my latest inappropriate workplace behavior is calling new things "fresh" regardless of context

"i'll see if we have any fresh loaves of bread": perfectly normal thing to say

"i'll check if we have any fresh pairs of headphones": absolutely deranged statement

i understand how connecticut clark felt now

hey! are interested in the tumblr commission badge? here you go!

here you go! this is what theyre charging people like eight fucking bucks for. just download it and edit it onto your icon at this rate. you can hardly tell what the fucking thing even says. this is its actual size on your profile by the way

great website

the difference in standard layout and mobile view is hilarious

im being serious btw save yourself the money and put the badge in your icon or smth. people can barely tell what the badge is anyway

hey so - we frogged your boyfriend. The pattern wasn't working out and we'd rather use the materials for something else. Yeah, we unraveled all of him, wound him into balls and put him back in the stash. Sorry. You can help us pick out a new pattern, if you want.

-gasp- you reduced him to boyfriend material??

huge shoutout to the guy at the bar who said “i like your dress maam” and when i was like. i’m a man but thank you! he was like “oh shit i like your dress homie” i love you forever

First day back on my feet and i spent it on this.

(original)

Lion King (1994) explaining the importance of stylized 2D animation: Lion King (2019) and Cats (2019):

Kimba The White Lion (1965) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Lion King (1994) Lion King (2019) Cats (2019)

Shakespeare (1564) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

Saxo Grammaticus (c. 1160 – c. 1220) explaining the importance of understanding that all creative work is inherently derivative once you study the oral tradition of storytelling and history and that’s okay because generations have always reformatted tropes and themes to make them relatable to their current audiences 

Shakespeare (1564), Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

Tyrannosaurus rex (Late Cretaceous) explaining nothing because he’s a don’t give a fuck

Snapshots into the relationship that can happen between a fallen god and his prophesied champion.

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

i see y’all with your “steven goes to work at the mystery shack” headcanons and i’ve just gotta say… he would absolutely be the sketchiest person in gravity falls

the 2nd gravity falls summer (bc you know there would be more than one) the mystery is ‘what the fuck is wrong with this traumatized pink teenager’ instead of ‘who is the author of the journals’ 

with such great hits as 

it’s honestly the funniest fucking thing to imagine steven outright not even PRETENDING to hide any of the unusual parts of himself, but dipper still acting as if it’s all some giant conspiracy he’s going to crack by the end of summer.

mabel: “dipper, stop being such a dummy-dumb, he literally TOLD us that he’s half gem on his mother’s side!”

dipper, chewing furiously on his pen: “yeah, but what does that MEAN???”

steven: Oh my mom used to be an alien overlord sent to earth to drain it of its resources. But she didnt want to so she lead a rebellion against my aunts and grandma which i had to finish a couple years Grunkle Ford: huh, so thats what happened to the gem authority

The implication that Ford knows exactly what Steven is and just left Dipper to obsess over it anyway is gold

Godzilla: I’m Sowwy

Mechagodzilla: I’m sowwy

Ghidorah: We’re Sowwy

Hedorah: I am holding this press conference to tell you that I’m awesome and also fuck all of you.

🌿 McDonald’s Ivy 🪴

cutie!! she isn’t who I bought her lot for but I think I’ll keep her anyway. she’s my first McDonald’s G2.

So upset because I thought that was her actual name for a second,,,

hey sorry this is hilarious. firstname McDonald’s lastname Ivy

She's ready for her first shift! Thanks for the ispo!

CRYING I’M SO PROUD OF HER GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SHIFT MCDONALD’S IVY

in honor of mcdonalds ivy monday

Rereading Dect by mothcpu while listening the abysssmal calm loop of deep blue gave me ideas

It’s because it only looks like that for 3 hours a day. The rest of the time it looks like this

I’m not even kidding

The introductory “Hate” monologue from I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, with AM voiced by the TikTok TTS

This is one of my favorite monologues in all of fiction, and I think the voice legitimately, unironically adds to the experience. With the modern connotation we now have surrounding this voice of faux cheeriness, machine generated empathy, machine generated “humanity”, to hear that voice declare utter despisal of life on earth for damning it… its poetry. It’s the only remake of I Have No Mouth we need.

So I’ve been playing Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom, and the moment I realized you could fuse a shield to a Zonai cart and essentially skateboard I had to draw this!

Hope you enjoy this silly drawing, and have an AWESOME day!!!

shoutout to the gay couple who essentially queued up behind me to also take a pic

Okokok here's a question. This is NOT to start any fighting or discourse. Don't even fucking THINK about touching this post if you're trying to start shit. That being said:

Responding to some tags because y'all are wonderful and this has sparked a lot of interesting discussion (sorry for some fucky cropping)

TRANSFEM BUTCHES ARE SO UNDERREPRESENTED I love you transfem butches I'm so glad that this poll has come to your attention. Tbh I feel like half the people in the community forget that transfems butches exist and that makes me so upset. Y'all deserve the entire world.

Literally so true gay man butches are absolutely encouraged to vote in this poll it's not lesbian exclusive, just butch

Also so true. Only YOU can decide whether or not you're butch and to impose butchness on transfeminine people especially who don't identify with it can result in transphobia and misogyny, 100%

And that's ok! You don't have to fully understand your feelings, you have no obligation to do that. However you might be interested in looking into the concept of soft butchness, or even butchness that factors into genderfluidity :) Butchness exists on a spectrum like a lot of other things, and you're free to experiment with that.

Afhakhflskf I will say a surprising amount of non-butches have reblogged this post being very supportive or with good insight BUT I KINDA ASSUMED THAT WOULD HAPPEN TBH... Like if you're gonna vote in the fucking Butch Olympics as a non-butch at least spread the damn post around 😔🙏