To a non-american, every Marvel movie is a 3-hour foreign film. Think before you post.
If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."
"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
"I have powerful wizard magics."
Gets them every time
hey is it ok if i leave this sandwich out on the dash 🥪ill eat it later
🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜
🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🥪🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜
NOOO
Taking photos of snakes is a lot harder than you’d think 😂😭
i thought you were protecting their identity
android vs iphone is the dumbest debate bc at the end of the day the best phone was the motorola razr or the nokia 3200 (with the changeable skins)
them <3333
is this unhealthy or normal asking for a friend
Imagine making a small talk with your barista and they slide their social battery badge down a level
OMG I bought that pin last week and it arrived today!
imagine sliding this down mid conversation lmao
In a good day I'm in yellow ngl...
You're at a lunch with friends when they all stop talking.
They were distracted by the low health sound of your social health bar
Do-do do-do do-do
I need this for... reasons.
you know what? this sort of thing should be normalized. if im talking to someone, and they feel like they need a social break, let them use this! plus it might help people who have trouble telling where they're at on that scale
BRB BOUGHT TO GO ORDER ASAP
Me too man, me too
I need this so bad
All I can picture is my wife making eye contact with me at a party and sliding it aaaassaaaaall the way down as a way of telling me she'd like to leave now.
Anonymous asked:
Are you alive
Don’t ask me no personal shit like this
ghibli movies are so cleansing, you watch one and then you get this sudden rush of motivation to bake something, or go for a walk, or make a significant change in your life.
absolutely love that eating someone out is called that. cannibalistic romanticism really won with that one
yall ever refuse to consume a piece of media you Know youd like solely bc you think itd make you feel more emotions than you want to
like Yeah the purpose of art is to make you Feel but im feeling plenty already thank you very much
it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom
it's a romcom to YOU. to me it's psychological horror
every time I eat a beet I pretend I am consuming the animal heart that will finally turn me into the vampiric or animalistic beast that's been haunting my nightmares
the one thing expensive skincare companies absolutely do NOT want you to know is that we are all subject to the same three factors, which are genetics, gravity, and the sun; we only have some control over one of those things, and all that’s necessary to exert that control is some sunblock.