Friendly reminder

Won’t say it again!

cis people can reblog this btw

Warlock concept: A warlock multiclassing as warlock.

Two separate patrons, two separate pact boons.

Level 7 warlock multiclass: Warlock 4/Warlock 3.

Celestial/Fiend.

just this. constantly.

if you bribe the DM, go Pact of the Chain for both and literally have an angel and a devil on your shoulders 100% of the time.

I probably shouldn’t be allowed to play d&d

I drunkenly made up Naruto as a 5e warlock with the ninetails as his patron once. he got fox characteristics when he used his foxier powers, otherwise it was his jutsus. i got like 2 sentences into explaining my character before the dm vetoed him

you can make a pokemon trainer in 3e and up dnd by playing a summoner wizard/sorcerer who focuses 100% on summoning and buffs. just get your dm to let you summon the same individual creatures every time. and flavor them like they’re pokemon

Ok Frank but what if Tumblr shut down, forever. What would you want us to remember about you?

I was smart. I was kind. I was the good friend you hope to find in the endless night. I was arrogant and weird and a little mean at times. My favorite color was red. My favorite number was 42, because it’s not 44 and it’s not 40. Sometimes when I got worried about things I got so upset I couldn’t get out of bed, and that’s not really good for anyone. I was neither creative nor philosophical but I did have a nice, neatly kept home and a gigantic collection of my own hand-picked beetles, worms and other arthropods. It wasn’t as big as your dad’s, but it was five times the size of yours, and he doesn’t like to brag.

I know this is a longshot but I feel like Tumblr is the best place to ask- does anyone have the official Joe Biden Spore file? I have not been able to find it on the old Sporepedia links that I found.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about I know what you’re thinking- “Joe Biden Spore model? OFFICIAL Joe Biden Spore creature model?”

Yes, OFFICIAL Joe Biden 2008 election voting awareness ad campaign Spore model.

Please, I need it for obvious reasons.

Image is taken from the sporepedia listing but if that doesn’t work then it’s the result by MaxisCactus on this link.

Not only did it work, but I also discovered that 12-15 year old Sporepedia comments are still readable on the website.

And in this moment I know that we must go back to when the internet was this inscrutable

Cabbage worm..

The fucking job market is abysmal

accidentally clicked on r/frugal and this is the top post and i’m losing my mind

i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i've got this business idea and it's to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i've hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i've got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn't really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it's just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i'm pretty sure i've got tinnitus now but on the upside i've got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

FINE! I'll do it myself

Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!

ITS THE SPOOPY MONTBJ

I know this is a longshot but I feel like Tumblr is the best place to ask- does anyone have the official Joe Biden Spore file? I have not been able to find it on the old Sporepedia links that I found.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about I know what you’re thinking- “Joe Biden Spore model? OFFICIAL Joe Biden Spore creature model?”

Yes, OFFICIAL Joe Biden 2008 election voting awareness ad campaign Spore model.

Please, I need it for obvious reasons.

Image is taken from the sporepedia listing but if that doesn’t work then it’s the result by MaxisCactus on this link.

Not only did it work, but I also discovered that 12-15 year old Sporepedia comments are still readable on the website.

And in this moment I know that we must go back to when the internet was this inscrutable

The Swedish warship Vasa. It sank in 1628 less than a mile into its maiden voyage and was recovered from the sea floor after 333 years almost completely intact. Now housed at the Vasa Museum in Stockholm, is the world's best preserved 17th century ship

Tap for more

Kinda funny that the best example of its kind is the one that sucked as bad as it possibly could.

Oh, it was *ridiculously* bad. That initial post says “from the sea floor,” but that implies it made it out to sea.

So Gustavus Adolphus is king when Sweden is fighting wars all over the place. They need more ships, so he commissions four of them, two big and two small. The Vasa was supposed to be one of the smaller ones. Emphasis on “supposed to be.” Because Gustavus Adolphus keeps ordering changes. Like, add twelve more feet to the keel! Pile on the carvings! Add another gun deck for the hell of it! It got even worse when Sweden lost ten ships in a huge storm, so now they needed the Vasa *yesterday*. But Gustavus Adolphus is STILL demanding changes. So the shipwright scales up the measurements to try and make things work. Which might have worked, except the ship was being worked on by Swedes, Finns, Danes, Sami people. Communication is hard enough, but also it turns out that there are two different types of rulers being used by the workers. One is in Swedish feet and one is in Amsterdam feet. Amsterdam feet were only eleven inches long. (There’s a joke there I’m too tired to make.)

Anyway, because of that, the port side is heavier.

Okay, so you have to imagine the Vasa, with its hastily-scaled-up measurements, its *seven hundred* decorative carvings, its sixty-fucking-four bronze cannons. It’s a goddamn mess, AND its center of gravity is way off. Except that’s not something you could measure with instruments at the time. What you’d do is, you’d put it in the water, then have a bunch of guys run back and forth from port to starboard a bunch of times to test if it’ll tip over.

The guys who did this test could only do it three times before the Vasa was like, “I think I’m gonna hurl,” and almost tipped over right then and there.

Everybody there is like, “… uh-oh.” The admiral conducting the test just sighs and goes, “If only the king were here,” because Gustavus Adolphus wasn’t, and maybe if he had been he would have seen they fucked up and decided to pull the plug. Oh, and those bronze cannons? They weighed down the ship so much that the lowest row of gun portals was almost at the waterline.

But. Sweden needed the Vasa. It needed it to go to war. At that time, it was the most expensive thing Sweden ever spent money on.

SO. It’s August 10th, 1628. It’s the port in Stockholm. There’s music, there’s festivities, everybody’s showed up to see the Vasa off. A few ships tug the Vasa out to the current, let her loose, she drops four of her sails, and off she goes.

For about thirteen hundred meters.

Then, a light breeze blows. When I say light, I mean light. But that was all it took. The Vasa flops to port, water flows into the gun portals, and down it goes, still in the fucking harbor with its masts sticking out of the water.

So when that original post says “recovered from the sea floor,” it means brought up from the *actual harbor*. Like, within sight of the docks.

Oh, oh! But cool story about all this. Remember those sixty-four bronze cannons? Yeah, Sweden kind of needed those back, so about three decades later in 1658, the Swedes go down and retrieve almost all of them with a diving bell. Which is kind of badass.

I know this is a longshot but I feel like Tumblr is the best place to ask- does anyone have the official Joe Biden Spore file? I have not been able to find it on the old Sporepedia links that I found.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about I know what you’re thinking- “Joe Biden Spore model? OFFICIAL Joe Biden Spore creature model?”

Yes, OFFICIAL Joe Biden 2008 election voting awareness ad campaign Spore model.

Please, I need it for obvious reasons.

Image is taken from the sporepedia listing but if that doesn’t work then it’s the result by MaxisCactus on this link.

Not only did it work, but I also discovered that 12-15 year old Sporepedia comments are still readable on the website.

And in this moment I know that we must go back to when the internet was this inscrutable

I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”

“OHH you’re following me, oUUhhh I didn’t know that!”

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

Y’all missed the best part:

Category 5 Glup Shitto event

Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!

Also tumblr:

lmao

You know how it is then, folks!

date of origin: 10th of december, 2014.

finally a descriptor for whatever the fuck american animation studios have been doing for years