THE WITCHER 2.02 — “Kaer Morhen”
just learned the lockpicking lawyer is an actual (retired) lawyer.. for some reason i assumed he wouldn’t be? like it didn’t remotely occur to me that a channel called the lockpicking lawyer would be a lawyer
HE WHAT
The End of an Empire and The Start of Something New
Commissioned by me from the amazingly talented @kaylerinarts
Anonymous asked:
For the smut prompt ask meme: 55, 69 (nice) and/or 81? For Geraskier, or anyone else, I’m not picky!
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(geralt/jaskier, mature)
"If we get caught," Jaskier panted. "I'm blaming you."
"Blame yourself," Geralt grunted. "You seduced the Lady."
"And you exposed her son for a werewolf so I think they're a bit put out with the both of us," Jaskier hissed.
They were squeezed into an awkward little crawlspace behind Lady Greswerr's wardrobe which Jaskier had only found when he was earlier avoiding Lord Greswerr.
Geralt breathed in shallowly, trying to hold his body apart from Jaskier’s front. The bard was in a tighter position, pressed to the back wall, his long limbs forced to tangle around Geralt's unforgiving bulk, his face nestled into the crook of Geralt's neck and shoulder.
He smelled ... good. Like lilac and honeyed wood.
Jaskier shifted his lower body, his breath ruffling Geralt's hair. "How long do you think we'll have to hide in here?"
Domesticated computers will eat a disc right out of someone’s hand but wild computers are too shy you have to leave the disc on the ground and let it walk over to it and eat it itself
how dare you leave this important pc health info in the tags
PRIDE (2014) dir. Matthew Warchus
We have reason to believe that there are known homosexualists and a confirmed lesbo inside these premises and that they are armed with sewing machines and glitter.
hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right
It’s “Smiling Girl, a Courtesan, Holding an Obscene Image” by Gerard van Honthorst!!
It’s the best painting that exists
I don’t know about you, but I really want to know what’s written on there - wait, I found a higher res image, can anyone translate this?
also it’s kind of an amazing little vignette
Hahahaa
Okay it says “who knows my arse from behind” and I will never recover from this
I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon Part III
Otherwise known as...
Witcher facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up, but that are, in fact, book canon.
People have told me they're interested in this series, so I've made another! (full list of posts at the end)
For this post I'm discussing:
A popular headcanon/fanon that involves Geralt traveling with Jaskier for years before learning his birth name. The fanon scene where he learns Jaskier's birth name usually involves someone addressing Jaskier as “Julian Alfred Pankratz” and Geralt going “Excuse me Julian what? Pankratz Who?”
In this headcanon, (which is usually a funny scene) Jaskier has kept his family origins/noble birth a secret, and there is more to him than Geralt realized.
Jaskier having two separate names has inspired a lot of creativity in the fandom. People play with the concept of how Jaskier feels about his name, why he would try to separate himself from his family, etc etc. Queer fans especially may relate to alienation from family, fighting to establish your own identity, and changing your name. It is *throws glitter* transformative fandom.
Now, in TWN, Jaskier introduces himself as Julian Alfred Pankratz multiple times in Geralt’s vicinity. So, if you’ve only watched TWN, the headcanon that Jaskier has hidden his family name/nobility from Geralt for years might seem like pure fanon.
Well folks. In case you didn’t know...
It’s canon.
(sorry I may never stop using my Beyond Belief Jonathan Frakes gifs for this)
Now, I am going to share that passage with you with my analysis.
But first I want to set the stage for what the passage tells us about Geralt and Dandelion’s relationship. Then I’ll theorize why Dandelion has hidden his true name from Geralt.
As always, minor book spoilers. I try to extract only the quotes I need to analyze, without spoiling the plot.
"mom. did you noonoo my fridge."
" :) "
" >:'( "
I Can't Believe it's not Fanon
Part Two, the return, electric boogaloo of Canon or Fanon
So in my first I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon post, the thing people seemed most surprised to see on the list was "Geralt can smell lust." (I read your replies and tags with great interest)
Scenting lust is a very very popular trope in fic, as it should be. Enhanced senses are great narrative devices for so many reasons. Given how much of our true selves we try to hide from one another, and given how enhanced senses can cut right through that, the dramatic potential is delicious. (Just ask Foggy and Matt, their Daredevil S1 confrontation is amazing) Then if you add the horny potential, well, it's a popular trope for a reason.
So, Geralt can smell lust, canon or fanon? Well, fic writers...
It's canon, and I'm bringing receipts.
Let's start with how Geralt's enhanced senses work in the books.
MINOR BOOK SPOILERS (I won't spoil plot, but there will be book passages. I will do the little three dots when I've omitted something in order to stay focused on the topic of Geralt's sense of smell and to avoid as many spoilers as necessary)