anyway i think we all know who the true best character in Goncharov (1973) is

he’s so right for this

other best tweets include

reminder that, as far as anyone knows, this man is literally 100% cisgender. this is fantastic. I love him ever so

This is a streamer, and one of his chat rewards for subs/bits/etc is "girl month," where he dresses like a girl and does his make up for a whole month.

Last I heard, his chat had gotten him to, like, 6 months straight of "girl month."

This man is cis. He is not trans, and has no desire to transition.

He just wanted to do something fun for his chat, and he has a great time. He looks comfortable, he doesn't make a mockery of women or femininity. It's just wholesome cross dressing fun.

Hey, a bro's gotta hustle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i just found 12 bricks

Its back

Happy twelve bricks Tuesday everyone

shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty

the fact that all of my mutuals immediately reblogged this from me really says something about all of us, doesn't it

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is a show about cars

i emailed them as a joke and they gave me a scarily realistic response and i was too scared o say anything back

i emailed them and i never got a reply, i’d like you to show yours

@masochist-incarnate this is the response I got

hundreds, perhaps billions

concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

you know… these guys

Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.

Needs more worms

I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms

No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway

@fanotastic more worms

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

Fuck you guys.

My fellow fuckers, I present you-

The worm curtain is GAY

*sprinkling my traits throughout my ocs* this one is the kid in me and all my wonder. this one is my self-worth issues and anger. this one is my absolute desire to be over six feet tall

[Staring at sheet for my 7'8" monster oc] now how the hell am I suppose to cosplay this

Browsing antique stores is always the most wild fucking time. I found an insanely cursed Sean Connery Barbie in my favorite antique store which is nothing new there are like 20 super cursed dolls in that store but they sell men’s flannels for $12 so

The antique store with like 50 pocket dimensions underneath it is playing “What A Feeling” from Flashdance. There’s a giant bloody wooden tooth hanging from chains. This is so surreal

FYI I was using bloody as in there is red splatters on the roots of the teeth not the expletive

Shaggy Rogers is here and he has a giant beard

There is a Greco Roman helmet in one of the the pocket dimensions on top of a typewriter

THERE IS SECRET LIBRARY ???????

People have definitely fucked up here. I can sense it.

This door doesn’t even wiggle there’s no way that lock is what’s keeping it closed

What the fuck

Y’all I’m gonna die going up this

This place is so terrifying im looking for bodies now

Trying to find exit. I’m actually starting to get anxious now.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jules walked into silent hill

So I have absolutely been inside this specific antique store (unless this is a pocket dimension that exists in many places, the store I know of is in downtown tacoma, WA). It’s spooky as hell, you can’t ever find anyone working there (the one time I did find a clerk he looked like he hadn’t left this garbage mansion in years, his hair was ginger and way too long and way too crunchy), it’s always disturbingly quiet despite being on a main downtown street, and to leave you have to meditate on that desire to summon an exit less you be trapped forever. The floors are incredibly uneven with lots of ramps and rooms on a slope. The library is my favorite part. There’s chairs and shit hanging from the ceiling all over the place. There are several false doors and windows. The inside in undeniably larger than the outside. This place is filled with a miasthma of chaotic energy.

To heal your soul, I recommend going to Mad Hat Tea just around the corner which also has a very real Vibe but it is healing and calming to a magical degree. A classmate of mine said once she had a terrible cold and went to Mad Hat between classes and asked the woman to give her something good for colds, she drank it without question and immediately her cold was gone. Shit theres so many like, old-magic-aura areas in downtown Tacoma guys, it’s crazy.

I hate how forgotten Rogue One is. It’s genuinely one of the best Star Wars movies to date. The lead characters all manage to stand out as individuals with stories of their own and the ending is an emotional roller coaster. This movie took a semi-plothole from way back in ANH and spun a story that enriched the franchise incredibly. R1 is how a “dark” SW movie should be done, taking a twist to the classic format and making it more grounded in the true perils of war while retaining the core messages of hope and (found) family.

#everyone dies in rogue one and i never got the urge to ressurect them in fics because #their narratives were complete!! they were whole #it was entirely what a story should be. this one needs no help (@makipagusapan)

My stage career began when I was a little under two months old, when I took the spotlight as Baby Jesus in a Christmas pageant. I’m told that I did a wonderful job and slept calmly through the whole thing, which can only speak to my talents as an actress, because I was 1. the wrong gender 2. a colicky screaming demon of a baby and 3. about as far from divine as it’s possible for an allegedly-human child to be. 

I continued to be actively involved in theater as a kid (and frequently played roles of various small animals, because I was tiny for my age). Around the age of ten, I was cast as the lead character in a musical about cowboys that I no longer remember the name of. It was my first real lead role, and I took it very, very seriously. And because I am myself, that means I maaaaybe went…a little overboard.

My character’s introduction was early in the play, accompanied by the crack of a bullwhip. This was more-or-less pre internet (or, at least, our director was not tech-savvy enough to find sound effects online) and we didn’t have a sound effect track for that noise. There were plans to acquire the appropriate sound effect before opening night, but I rapidly tired of making my entrance during rehearsals to the sound of someone yelling “BULLWHIP NOISE!”

This, I thought to myself, is a problem I can solve.

I learned early in life that it’s good to be friends with people who have skills; they always come in handy eventually.  After rehearsals one day, I put on my cowboy boots and biked a couple miles over to my friend Grace’s house. I went down to their basement and knocked on her older brother’s door.

“Hello,” I said. “I need to learn how to use a bullwhip.”

“….Okay,” he said. It did not seem to occur to him that he might ask further questions about why I, a tiny horrible munchkin composed exclusively of rage and pointy elbows, needed to be weaponized any further. Clearly, I had come to the right person.

My friend’s older brother would have been an SCA nerd, if SCA was a thing where we were. Instead, he was one of those unsupervised 4H kids with weird hobbies, largely oriented around ancient forms of combat. He was somewhere in his late teens at this time, and he liked to make stuff. It was an urge I, even at age ten, could sympathize with. His name was Aron. 

Aron got out his bullwhip (which I had noticed hanging on his wall on a prior visit, and had filed away mentally under a for future use tab) and we went to the backyard. 

“Step one of using a bullwhip,” Aron began, “Swinging the bullwhip.” 

We rapidly discovered that since I was god’s tiniest, angriest creation, a full-size bullwhip was way too long for me to use. Aron’s shins suffered for my attempt. 

“…Step one of using a bullwhip,” Aron said, “Making a bullwhip.”

So we went back inside, found a tanned cowhide (that he just…had? I don’t remember if there was a reason for this.) and some razor blades, and I learned how to cut and braid a bullwhip. It took a few tries, and I wound up coming back for a while, because I kept getting frustrated with the bullwhip-braiding process and Aron kept distracting me with bait like: “Hey kid, wanna learn to make some chainmail?” and “Hey kid, wanna fletch some arrows?” and “Hey kid, wanna try doing horseback archery?”

Obviously the answer to these questions was “BOY, WOULD I EVER!” Some delays are necessary to the artistic process.

(At one point my mom asked me “Hellen, what are you doing over at Grace’s house all the time?” And I, perfectly innocent, said, “Making weapons!” and my mother, who never understood why I was like this, but accepted that a girl has needs and those needs occasionally involve stocking a personal armory, said “Okay! Have fun!”)

Soon, the bullwhip, size extra small, was finished. The lessons on actual bullwhip use commenced. 

It should be noted that Aron was self-taught, and really had no idea what to do, so this was mostly an exercise in the two of us standing twenty feet apart and flailing wildly with our respective whips until snapping noises happened. And then we figured out what we’d done to make the snapping noises. And then we kept doing that. Extremely vigorously. So vigorously that at one point one of the bullwhips launched into the air and caught on a tree branch and we hand to drag the trampoline over so Aron could bounce me high enough to grab it. But we persisted!

Eventually we reached a point where we could line up pop cans on a fence rail and hit them off three times out of five.

Feeling extremely accomplished and like I finally understood method acting, I packed my bullwhip into my backpack for the next play rehearsal. Soon enough, it was time for me to make my entrance. 

I leaped on stage in my cowboy boots and cracked the bullwhip as hard as I could, immediately launching into the song despite the fact that the sound of five feet of braided leather breaking sound barrier had startled the accompanist so badly she’d keysmashed on the piano.

The director shouted something she probably shouldn’t have shouted in a room full of small children, and then demanded, “WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!”

“I made it!” I declared proudly. “I’m a cowgirl! I can make my own bullwhip noise!”

“You…made it?” 

“Yes! Because we needed a bullwhip sound effect. And bullwhips are where bullwhip sound effects come from!”

This was, of course, impeccable logic.

It is apparently difficult to argue with a gleeful ten year old who happens to be armed with a bullwhip longer than she is tall. After some negotiation, the director agreed that I could use my bullwhip for my opening song, provided that I didn’t pop it while anyone was anywhere near me on stage and I didn’t let anyone else play with it. These terms were acceptable to me. 

Somehow, no one was injured and the play went off without a hitch. We can only chalk up these things to the magic of the theatre. 

Nearly a decade later, an unsuspecting college classmate asked me, “Hellen, wanna take a class on bullwhip combat with me?”

And obviously I answered, “BOY, WOULD I EVER!”

bro what is linkin park - in the end doing in our national top 10 music list in 2020 what the fuck

has to be this guy i refuse to believe anything else

about 15 000 plays in a year... that would be another 90 000 plays since his last post

my professor said my assignment was “late” because it was due on friday.........like phil my dude last time I checked the concept of time is dead and days don’t exist anymore

COME THRU PHIL!!!!

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend

gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits

no more bare tits

oh shit a bow

having a moment

🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty

aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes

good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔)

we’re gonna be so pretty

wig snatched

shit do i gotta act like a lady now?

if I play dead it might goes away

oh my im getting hotter by the minute

what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry

I was expecting her to become real like pinoccio at the end

What’s better than this?! The Wonder Woman theme was performed on an electric cello?!!

#just end me   #someone add fireworks to that cello and strap her to a truck in the wasteland shredding to valhalla

Y’ALL THAT IS TINA GUO AND YES SHE PERFORMED THE WONDER WOMAN THEME FOR THE MOVE SCORE.

Bandersnatch sounds like British slang for pussy

and yet “family-friendly” disney still hired him to play doctor strange. what a disgrace

this post is like getting smacked in the face twice

I cant stop thinkjing about this it KILLS me