Lioconcha Hieroglyphica is officially my favorite mollusc

This clam has fuckin runes on it

Day 4: Remake That Is Better Than The Original

As much as Evil Dead 2 is positioned like a sequel, it’s really just a remake. Sam Raimi had a sequel script ready, but the financiers just wanted more of the same. Even though this could have resulted in a regrettable rehash, the makers of Evil Dead 2 embraced the resources at their disposal to make a new and improved Evil Dead while still staying true to the heart of the series. Better effects, better gags, better gore.

these ones

oh we can get even more specific than just a list of billionaires:

here are all of the scum who control oil, coal, and natural gas

here are the ones who run the factories

and here are the ones who extract the raw resources that the others need to make it all work

23,000 people are reblogging a hit list

Good.

no caption can possibly make this funnier

happy birthday ole worm

happy birthday ole worm

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

A mom helping her kids beat a hard level in Super Mario Land, 1990s.

this is a renaissance painting

she’s so compelling..I FELT every twist and turn of this monologue

[LINK]

Emilia Fart: “Confession twelve!

One time I was hot-boxing the car with my friend group’s mandatory “sketchy drug dealer that makes you feel weird but you still make out with sometimes, for some reason.” My mom called. I had lied and told her I was studying in a cafe. She told me she was on her way to pick me up. I immediately told the drug dealer to, “Get to that cafe, though!”

We ended up beside my mom on the road, so I ducked down into the drug dealer’s crotch. We were able to pull up behind the cafe. I went around the corner and got into my mom’s car. She immediately told me that I smelt like marijuana. I became incensed! “What are you trying to imply, mom? How dare you! I am wholesome, and I love studying while drinking warm milk!” She relented and said she has just turned on the outside fan, so it must be that.I was satisfied knowing that I am now the Meryl Streep of my generation.“

It feels important to me to add that the woman in question is wearing a long brown robe, a pink feather boa and a tiara.

I’m walking everywhere like this from now on.

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

this looks like the reception desk of my mind

Why is this so funny

Same.

This perfectly summed up what I’ve been feeling.

gay_irl

im Waking Up,

to Ash and dust

i wipe my

ASS

and i

I ain’t grabbin that either