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Settlement: Irodorre

Background & Environment: At the base of a thundering waterfall and hidden amidst towering, icecapped mountains is the drow settlement of Irodorre. Set at the mouth of a winding subterranean river system on the edge of the underdark, the settlement was constructed for the purpose of trading with the surface dwelling clans of dwarves and goliath herds that make their home among the mountains. Trade has prospered and seen the settlement grow into a thriving mix of cultures as two worlds mingle.

Mood & Themes: Gateway between realms of wonder, rough and tumble frontier town but with elves, easy money and culture clash. 

Who’s Hiring: 

  • Irodorre only works thanks to an elaborate series of river locks that let vessels traverse the sudden elevation changes between the neighbouring underdark’s different water systems.  In addition to being marvels of engineering, these locks also serve as a network of fortresses that protect the settlement from the monstrous denizens of the below. Its a lonely job manning the forts, but it pays well, and an ambitious party could make use of their garrisoned fort as a home base form which to go on excursions into the deeper caverns. 
  • The mountain port extracts heavy fees from those that which to do business there, which means there is profit in circumventing such regulations. A Band of smugglers known collectively as “The Riverbed” is looking to expand, and if the players are clever enough to avoid the garrison during their initiation, they’ll find fast friends among these fellow scoundrels. 
  • Summer in the mountains means a proliferation of hungry drakes swarming the nearby passes looking for food before mating season. This obviously poses a danger to both travelers and trade, but provides a good opportunity for hunters looking to cull the herd. Grim Gaddok is just such a hunter, a graying old dwarf who was hunting drakes in the mountains before the port of Irodorre was even constructed. Should the players be willing to learn and not fear the threat of drakefire they will find a true mentor in Gaddok and a small fortune to be made in selling hides and salvaged bone to the merchants of Irodorre

Rumors & Goings on:

  • There’s been a marked increase in encounters with Derro all along the river network, and those with an eye to such things are worried this is a prelude to some kind of swarm or invasion. The Derro are mad dwarf-kin who have lived for generations beneath the earth and have had their minds shattered by the dark forces that dwell in the darkest depths.  
  • A famed goliath arbiter by the name of Telhu the Warqueller is holding council in the main market square, providing guidance in exchange for donations on her pilgrimage to the drow capital where she is set to mediate a royal inheritance dispute.  It’s said she’s persisted through her journey despite two assassination attempts, and everyone is on edge for a potential third.  
  • The Mothlight, a famed river trading vessel has been lost somewhere in the underdark along with all hands. Rumors fly about its ultimate fate but the trading house that supplies it is hurrying to put together an expedition to see it found.

Mind Flayer by Fred Fields. This 1992 masterpiece an Illithid wielding a magic staff on a hellish, arid landscape. Not sure if he’s hanging out there to avoid Gith or if he’s trying to enslave a Magmin legion, only time will tell.

Fey Gate, a 5 phase thunderstorm in the forest!

Dense forest brush gives way to a suspicious clearing, a wooded arch springing from the earth that doesn’t seem possible through any natural means. Growth clings to it, and strange, dancing lights drift from the circuitous trunk. Faintly, the growing breeze is threaded with notes of distant woodwind music. Clouds soon blot out the sun, and as you move closer, the music grows louder, as does the wind and the rain. A storm is coming, and fast…

Could I, when you have time, get a d10 (Or more if you'd like) list of magical or otherwise prosthetics for NPCs?

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tw: bones, bugs, transplants

  1. An arm sculpted of clay, animated by magic as constructs of old. For all its detail, it is cold, smooth clay.
  2. An intricate series of leather straps, metal rods, and bronze gears form your left leg. You've become an expert in the tools needed to maintain it.
  3. Spirals upon spirals of golden runes undulate in and out of the form of an arm, anchored in place by the focus ring carefully worn on your elbow stump.
  4. The necromancer restored your leg - sort of. The bones are there, and as long as he draws breath, they will work as intended, without muscle and sinew to pull upon them.
  5. Your boot is empty, unless you count the smattering of willpower and magic it takes to maintain it. Your leg below the knee was lost years ago, but no one is the wiser as long as you don't undress in front of them.
  6. Vines and slender branches spring from your shoulder joint to form an arm. It flowers in spring and grows brittle in the winter, when you have to prune back the year's growth.
  7. The hand is almost like your own. Almost. You bought it from the surgeon who sewed it to your wrist, connecting nerves and muscle as best he could. Only, sometimes it remembers a sword movement you never learned.
  8. Your lower jaw is ornate gold filigree, specially fitted for you and constructed by a master smith. It connects to a strap that goes round your head and hinges open and shut just as it should.
  9. Constructing a foot from dragonscale was no small feat, but you managed it. You even managed to give yourself more flexibility than you might have had otherwise, the interlocking scales sliding smoothly against each other as you walk.
  10. Only a summoner of your caliber could maintain this level of control; the swarm of bees hums with energy as it forms your right arm.
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Bored of Tomes Of Dark Secrets? Here are some alternate ways to record maddening secrets of the cosmos.

  • Necronomicon audiobook
  • Brickleberry/Paradise PD style animated sitcom
  • Very specific streaming service where you need to spend $15 a month for premium eldritch content
  • Extremely high-stakes escape room
  • Automated text service, send OHGODMYSOUL to stop
  • Terrible 3 hour primary school play that you have to sit through. You can't tell these children that their renditions of the horrors beyond the cosmos are terrible, can you?
  • Blank book but when you open it it summons a flash mob that does an improv rendition of the secrets of the old ones.
  • Textbook that costs $300 to buy but after you buy it? It turns out there's actually only unspeakable knowledge in one section of it.
  • Sing-a-gram
  • One of those obligatory rap sections from the 90s that were very clearly written by the whitest people on the planet
  • Breadtube video essay
  • Secretly hidden in the posts of a mid-tier RPG shitpost tumblr blog
  • haha what a wacky joke lol
  • Praise the old ones!

Website offering 66 hidden truths about reality God doesn’t want you to know (#17 will shock you!)

This dangerous, off-white ooze inhabits icy regions, where it lurks in ambush for anything foolish enough to get too close. The vanilla gelato relies on its signature 'cone' attack to slow down targets before they escape, freezing them in place to be ripped apart by its pseudopods.

A perculiar effect known as 'brain freeze' has been known to affect wizards in the presence of one of these creatures. Although it causes no damage on its own, it is quite painful, and makes concentrating on spells all but impossible.

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I'd probably only recommend these for low-realism settings!

There's more content including some pre-shooting tests and range comparisons over on Patreon!

Dungeon: The Eyrie of the Lost (Lord of Talons, part 3)

This is the final installment of a three part adventure. You can see the start of the adventure by checking the “Lord of Talons” tag below, or by clicking HERE

In the last adventure, our party ventured across the Hunter’s Weald, a fey realm dedicated to making any traveler feel like a quarried animal, in search of the lair of the villainous Lord of Talons, child stealing fairy-lord who takes the form of black armored knight or great winged owl. Overcoming traps and curses, the heroes now find themselves at the entrance to the hunter-lord’s keep, seeking to free the many children he’s made off with. 

Background & Lore

The identify of the Lord of Talons lays somewhere in the muddled dealings of a creature of childhood fear, and a capricious and unsympathetic noble. In an antiquated age the noble was hunting trough their domain lands when their quarry drew them into a shadowed thicket, and as such turns are want to do, this detour brought them into the shallows of the feywild. In this liminal grove the noble happened upon a fey entity that had been bound in thorns long ago by an elvan sage, and left to struggle and bleed for untold ages in the hopes of keeping it from wreaking havoc on the world.  

Unlike any sensible person, the Noble agreed to the fey’s promises of rewards in exchange for freedom, and cut the beast free of its bindings, and while the exact details are lost to time, the story of the Lord of Talons began on that day. 

Events followed, though their factuality is debatable: A yearly tithe of children gathered yearly from the village, a ritualized hunt through the fey and mortal realms, a feyblooded heir born from a twisted union, one bargainer skinning the other and wearing their form like a cloak. All and none of these rumors are true, and some resulted in the creation of the Lord of Talons, and the destruction of the noble’s estate by those they had wronged. 

Challenges & Complications

  • The Eyrie itself is half a ruin, eternally weatherbeaten and being crushed by the slow embrace of thorny vines and entangling roots, with crumbling hallways exposed to the light of an eternal hunter’s moon. Cages of every size fill the chambers, and shards of small unidentifyable bones lay scattered everywhere as testimant to the Lord of Talon’s endless hunger. 
  • Rescue of the children will take a while, There are dozens, and many seem to be from eras prior to the Lord’s current rampage. 
  • A ghost of a noble speaking some archaic dialect haunts the lower reaches of the dungeon, appearing sometimes in finery, sometimes as if they were mauled by some beast, occasionally skinless, and other times bristling with arrows. The ghost is broken both in both mind in spirit, sometimes wanting to shield the children from harm, other times warning the castle’s guardians if they try to escape. An untrustworthy ally to be sure. 
  • Suits of hollow armor patrol the castle grounds, their chest plates split open to create cages, seemingly in service to the dungeon’s aesthetic. If the Lord is alerted to the party’s presence, each of these cages will be filled by a captured child, hostages against the intruders fighting their way through the castle too recklessly. 
  • The final confrontation with the Lord of Talons occurs at the summit of the Eyrie, a crumbling battlement overshadowed by the boughs of cage laden trees. Here the fey will face the party in their hunters form, aided by spectral guards, but will transform into a more and more bestial state as their plate receives damage. Eventually they will shed the 

Rewards & Consequences:

  • Loot: Most impressive among the horde of treasures taken by the Lord of Talons are his personal raiment, a suit of heavy armor that allows the wearer to transform into an owl, a twisted bow of black iron and it’s matching quiver of cursed arrows, and a cloak that hides the bearer from any pursuer. Spoils also include a bone flute of uncertain origin that creates fear with every note, a cauldron that restores life to small animals washed in its waters, and a tarnished diadem that cows any predatory beast. 
  • Renown: rescuing a gaggle of children from the fey is the stuff of fairytales, and should the party conduct themselves graciously, they’ll likely find their reputation traveling far and wide. 
  • Patronage: One of the children rescued from the Eyrie turns out to be the long lost sibling of a local noble, gone for decades but unaged by their time in the fey wild. Though missing a finger and a few toes, the child is greated graciously by their now adult sibling, who treats the party fabulously and offers to make them their retainers. Should the party accept, they will find themselves well looked after, and awarded a sigil of an owl and broken arrows as their crest, a symbol of their new authority and sign of their bravery. 

Council of Wyrms (1994) is a D&D campaign setting that ponders the question, “What if dungeons WITH dragons?”

This is a unique campaign setting, a string of islands where dragons of all kinds (metallic, chromatic and gemstone) live apart from the world. In the past, they warred ceaselessly on each other, but recently they have founded a sort of democracy (the titular council, which I can’t help but read as making fun of the 1521 Diet of Worms in some inscrutable way). They did this in order to deal with the incursion of pesky human dragonslayers who were systematically eradicating them (there is also maybe some unintentional metaphor regarding the idea of external enemies being necessary for social stability, but maybe I am reading in too much).

Players take the role of dragons! They can also be half-dragons, or the servitors of dragons, but why would you do that when you can play a dragon? This arrangement reminds me of a sort of summer blockbuster version of Ars Magica for some reason.

Dragons! It really is a mind-boggling thing to realize it took two decades before someone came up with the idea of actually playing the dragons (that someone was Bill Slavicsek, who previously work on the West End Games Star Wars RPG, a fact that brings a lot of context to this project, I think). I have to say, the rules for playing dragons are suitably muscular. I suspect this flavor of D&D is extremely cathartic and freeing. At least for a while. Staying power aside, this is a richly realized box set, which was a surprise when I actually sat down to sift through it — I always thought on some level that it was an elaborate practical joke.

Perhaps realizing this sort of high-powered play would rapidly loose its charm, this was the only Council of Wyrms product, one of very few stand-alone products in the 2e era. It was released later as a hardcover “campaign option,” but that is essentially the same material.