I think there’s something to be said about the way Dabi continuously refuses any kind of emotional connection to the people in his life during fights, especially throughout the war arc.

The first instance I can remember of this is when he’s fighting Hawks, clearly distressed about Twice’s death, and claiming that he has no attachment to the league and is simply using them because it benefits his goal.

Now, other people have already written about Dabi’s tendency to smile during painful moments and during his manic episodes, so the conclusion that this was clearly a lie has already been made. People have also noted that his eyes are steaming, which references his recurring theme of leaking blood in place of crying, so overall it is pretty clear that he was very distraught during this scene.

The second instance is during his confrontation with Shouto, where he claims not to care about Natsuo and that he’s “not so big on feelings” in general. Once again accompanied by the massive smile, and once again immediately followed by the topic change of “but now I get to kill you.”

The part that got me thinking about this though was this one.

It’s almost... introspective, his smile drops, and he speaks quietly, directly to Shouto. He reassures him, almost, “I’m glad you were raised with love, I’m fine.” It’s not your fault, you don’t deserve this. And then once again turns the topic to the real subject of his hatred, Endeavor, and all his energy and drive comes back. He doesn’t want to kill Shouto out of his own hatred the way he did as a kid, he wants to kill Shouto because he knows it will hurt Endeavor. It seems almost like he feels bad for Shouto, but is ignoring that feeling in favour of doing what he believes will accomplish his goal.

These three scenes, I think, paint a very particular picture of Dabi’s character.

Now, he probably doesn’t care about Shouto as a sibling would. That much is made clear during his childhood, and I doubt it would change much through his life after that. But he’s still an adult, and he still recognises now with time and maturity that Shouto wasn’t at fault for their upbringing, that Shouto doesn’t really deserve to die. Dabi is one of the only people that routinely questions the presence of children at battlefields and war zones, he seems to care more about the rights of kids than most heroes. But Dabi needs to kill him in order to complete his goal, so he has this moment of connection with him and reassures that he’s glad Shouto’s life was better than his, even if Shouto only got to have that life because Touya didn’t. It establishes a pattern of him having feelings and making connections with others, and then ripping them away to focus on his goal.

I think Dabi does care about the League, and to an extent about Natsuo too. But I also think that he refuses to let himself dwell on these connections, because he knows it will stop him from achieving his goal. If he has something to live for in the League, he won’t let himself die to kill Endeavor like he thinks he needs to, if he wants to stay with them he won’t cut them off when it is most advantageous for him to do so. If he cares about Natsuo’s life and feelings, he wouldn’t be willing to hurt him or his family to destroy Endeavor because he wants to protect Natsuo’s wellbeing.

After all, caring about what Endeavor thought of him instead of just cutting him off and moving on is what lead to his death the first time around. Hell, caring about other people got Twice killed right in front of him, it makes sense that Dabi would want to forgo making connections with others because he knows firsthand that it can ruin everything, that it will stop him from thinking clearly and focusing on his goal.

Dabi has never necessarily been a sympathetic person, and that’s okay. He doesn’t have to be. But he does care about the people close to him, he does feel some degree of connection to Shouto and guilt over hurting him, he does to some extent recognise the failures of the hero system when they affect others and, even if he doesn’t necessarily feel bad for them, he recognises that they’re being mistreated. He recognises all of this, and he chooses to ignore it in favour of putting everything he has into destroying Endeavor. He isn’t “not so big on feelings” because he doesn’t feel them, but because he chooses to suppress them and focus on his goal.

How Touya can be Saved

I’ve talked before about why I think Shouto will save Touya, and now I want to talk about how. No doubt saving the eldest Todoroki child will be a combined family effort, but I want to specifically talk about Shouto’s role in this because it will be the culmination of his character arc. I also want to tie in how Dabi can make himself seen and understood by crying tears of blood in front of his family. Finally receiving validation after desperately needing it his entire life will be the key to his salvation.

As of chapter 298, Shouto already empathizes with Touya; he feels Touya’s hate and even recognizes Dabi is the person Shouto himself was before the Sports Festival. Shouto is extending his empathy and understanding to his brother the same way he reacted to Iida during the Stain arc in chapter 53, “Todoroki to Iida.”

Having empathy for Dabi’s resentment is only the first step in reaching him, though. That shared rage doesn’t completely validate Dabi’s pain as an abuse victim, which is something Shouto has yet to recognize about himself. Shouto’s anger has always been about how Endeavor abused Rei to the point she had to be institutionalized and not how Endeavor isolated him, physically abused him, and robbed him of his childhood. Shouto probably hadn’t stopped to think about how the other Todorokis perceived their family situation because, like most families in this situation, no one talked about the abuse - Shouto even expresses surprise and agreement in 192 when Natsuo confronts Endeavor with the entire family’s pain. Shouto thinks back to the memory of wanting to play with his siblings and realizes that specific day didn't only stay with him but that his siblings remember it and were impacted by it, too.

deku showing sympathy towards shigaraki and recognizing he was just a child who was suffering and was failed by the system only to turn around and invalidate dabi's trauma when he clearly has more knowledge about it bc he was present during the todoroki moments just bc endeavor is his mentor has the same energy as your friends taking your abusers side bc "he was nice to them"

Wdym Dabi and Hawks never called each other 'pretty bird' and 'hot stuff' in Canon, it's right here, see- *points to canon divergence fanfics*... Huh.

sir that's my emotional support arsonist

Understanding Dabi during the war arc

(the free version in all its rambley glory. thanks again to all the lovely supporters who read the early release on ko-fi)

Many of us have been wondering what to make of Dabi ever since the chapters of the reveal. His actions and words are certainly hard to make sense of in a way that doesn’t deny what we knew of him before. I’ve seen many takes on his agenda, on whether or not to trust his words about how he feels for his family or the League, of what to make of the broadcast. I’ve seen people deny canon because they felt it destroyed his fanon counterpart, despite how I think that’s not the case. I’ve seen takes that label him as too far gone, despite how the story tells us the opposite. I’ve seen some empathize with him, and others demonize him. 

What I haven’t seen so far is a meta that analyzes him and his actions from a linguistic perspective. So I decided to do that myself. I feel like a huge cut of the nuance of his words didn’t translate well into english, and that led to a lot of the unrest and confusion I’ve seen floating around. In my opinion, the war arc is an incredible source when it comes to making sense of his thoughts, and it doesn’t deny anything of what made him a compelling character. The reveal wasn’t Dabi becoming a black and white parody of himself, or embracing evil because he passed a point of no return. I’ll explain why under the cut. That said, I’m not really interested in debating whether my guess is more accurate than someone else’s, so please take what follows as simple speculation. Hopefully, it will make for a good read.

Keep reading

i don’t want him if he can’t pat my cheek condescendingly, call me a pathetic crybaby, and kiss my forehead before proceeding to rearrange my guts 😤

my hq type? “you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid” energy

“The wrong path?”

✩ I THINK ABOUT THIS CONSTANTLY ppl make a joke out of it but like ✩ what ushijima says is so. unspeakably insulting ✩ and he says it more than once ✩ to someone whose entire play style is tailoring himself to the needs of the team he chose to bleed for ✩ the team he loves and trusts and suffers for mentally and physically ✩ THE TEAM HE BUILT WITH HIS OWN HANDS ✩ and here he is being told he not only went to the wrong school but that all the energy he put in his teammates ✩ was a WASTE OF HIS TIME BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN “BETTER OFF” SETTING FOR A SELF-CENTERED PLAYER LIKE USHIJIMA ✩ setting for a centerpiece player instead of the “most cohesive team in miyagi” SEIJOU IS SO GOOD OK ✩ ushijima’s not just insulting oikawa’s choice of school he’s insulting the CORE OF HIS IDENTITY SHIT GETS ME FIRED RIGHT UP ✩ hq ✩ oikawa ✩ ushijima ✩ screams into a bucket ✩ disclaimer I love ushiwaka but I’d literally kill someone for insulting my life choices and friends like this ygm

“The wrong path?”

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟕. epilogue

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

“Okay, so I believe you screw this piece and that piece together and- BOKUTO-SAN NO!”

Everyone collectively groaned as Bokuto sheepishly held the now broken piece of what was going to be your headboard. Akaashi sighed and put down the Ikea furniture manual to rub his temples. Now the headboard was added to the list of furniture casualties along with the coffee table and nightstand (also broken by Bokuto).

“I thought it would be faster if I just tried popping it into place!” He whined, defending his terrible handyman skills and all too clumsy strength.

Tsukki's promise to Oikawa ❤️❤️❤️ I love them so much

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟔. play date

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: when tsukki and y/n got together, each person in the group took turns threatening tsukki not to hurt y/n.

𝐚/𝐧: the epilogue is up as well with my final author’s note for play date. 🥺

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @starrydaisy @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

who's crying because everybody had a happy ending? oh, it's me

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟓. do you love him?

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

At this point, you couldn’t care less that it started pouring.

The rain was nearly violent as it pounded down on you, echoing off the pavement. Was it safe to be walking alone at night? Absolutely not, but it wasn’t like anybody was going to be outside at 4am during a torrential downpour. You were just glad you had thrown on a hoodie before leaving Kiyoko’s house.

You walked as far as your legs could take you, the words replaying in your mind, because I’m in love with you.

FINALLY! OH MY GOD, FINALLY SOMETHING BESIDES ANGST

Kuroo is right, everyone needs therapy (including me since I'm obsessed with this story and I don't know how to let go)

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟒. it’s always been you

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

Your eyes still sting when you wake up.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep, but it must’ve not been for very long since it was still dark outside. You heard Yachi softly snoring next to you on the futon, and Kiyoko’s light breathing from her bed. You rubbed your still puffy eyes as you felt around for your phone, turning it on to see the time.

3:15am

89 missed calls from Oikawa Tooru.

72 missed calls from Tsukishima Kei.

632 unread texts.

damn, I feel dead inside, I just wanna a happy ending for Tsukki, Y/N and Oikawa (yeah, ik he doesn't deserve it)

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟑. afterparty

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: terushima has a blacklist of people who aren’t allowed at his parties, oikawa is now at #1. (the blacklist rules say if somebody unwelcomed steps foot into one of his parties, they will be forcibly removed from the premises)

𝐚/𝐧: we’re entering the final part of play date!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @starrydaisy @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

here I am, ready to defend Tsukki AND Oikawa because I love my trash boys

I was sad, but Terushima HAD TO tweet about that feet rumor

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟐. kei shouldn’t be allowed to drink either: the spinoff

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

You were already driving Kei crazy and you hadn’t even left your room yet.

You should have left thirty minute ago, but you were still locked in your room supposedly doing your makeup. He could hear your pacing through the wall, so he definitely knew you weren’t still getting ready. You were purposefully avoiding him, but it’s not like you both weren’t doing that anyway. He regretted doing a favor to Kiyoko by driving you to the party. (He had a sneaking suspicion she could have driven you, but she wanted you two to start talking to each other already).

Tsukki and Y/N: king and queen of being in love with eachother and thinking the feeling isn't mutual.

Am I hurt? of course, but the thought of Terushima doing all of this makes it better.

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟏. y/n shouldn’t be allowed to drink: the sequel

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

You had been ready for nearly an hour.

However, you were too anxious to leave your room, instead using your time to anxiously pace around your room. You would have to come out and face Kei eventually.

What was there left to say? You knew he didn’t like you (he definitely made that clear), and you were moving out soon. There was nothing between you, and soon you’d just be a passing thought to Kei.

Damn it Kiyoko! You knew she could have driven you to Terushima’s, but this was her slick way of telling you to make up with Kei.

and here I was trying to convince myself that Oikawa would never do something like that

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟐𝟎. (almost) goodbye

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

Kei knew this was going to happen at some point.

If you had told him months ago you’d be moving out, he'd have been overjoyed, elated even. The nuisance in his life would finally be gone. He never would have thought he would feel empty instead.

You were going to be gone. He realized too late how significant you were in his life.

Everyday began and ended with you. He won’t see your bedhead in the morning, he wouldn’t get to yell at you through the bathroom door to hurry up, he won’t hear your footsteps through the wall. Eventually, the house would be hollow. Everywhere he would look would only be a reminder of you. He would only see you anywhere he looked.

He stared at his screen for hours on end, what was he supposed to say? Stay? Goodbye? Anything he typed, he just erased. Nothing was good enough.

But everything he thought of circled back to three words he could barely admit to himself. I love you.

You left him defenseless. For once in his life, somebody had torn down his walls. It scared him, it scared him so goddamn much to love somebody.

He knew at some point you’d be leaving, the house and him. You both were on borrowed time after all.

He just wished he had realized it from the very beginning, maybe if he had swallowed his pride sooner and admitted it, you would be his.

“Sooner or later, everybody is just going to leave you, and you should know, it’ll be your fault.”

You were right, you always were. He only had himself to blame that you were going to move on, with or without him.

So Kei left your message unanswered. He went to bed that night replaying the memories you shared, knowing that was all he was going to have left of you soon.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: tsukki saw oikawa walk y/n home that night as well.

𝐚/𝐧: i’m not really happy with how i wrote this but oh well?? anyway this is sad and i’m not sorry about it t all 💀 listen to hard feelings by lorde for the full experience! (yes that is a double track song, i only wrote this along to hard feelings, not loveless!!)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @starrydaisy @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

that's it, I'm sad

for a fun fact, there isn't much "fun" on it

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

𝟏𝟗. terushima throws a party

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: nobody except for yamaguchi knows what his plan is.

𝐚/𝐧: this double update wasn’t even planned-

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @ryryryleigh @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

this party will be so chaotic, I can't even imagine

also, poor terushima and his rumor