queer disabled legend

about me

name: Griffin (will also respond to Noodle, Griff, my dude, or any other polite nickname you want to give me)

pronouns: whatever is going to make you feel most comfortable

identities: intersex. multigender. aromantic. lesbian. none of this is up for debate — I am who I am

because apparently I need to re-emphasise this: do not send me asks about abuse. do not send me asks about eating disorders. do not send me asks about self-harm. I will block you. end of.

before sending me an ask

you can find my simplified diagnostic criteria here

you can find my studying advice here

you can find “normal vs disordered” here

things I will not answer:

—

if I say anything wrong or disrespectful, please let me know! I try my best not to be a jerk, but I’m not perfect. please just try to be clear with me about what I did wrong, and I’ll work on it

—

userbox credit: @/chronicallylav3nd3r

I’ve been off social media for just over a month now because I know it’s unhealthy for me to spend a long time on it. I know I’m easily influenced by things designed to make me feel guilty, ashamed, and/or enraged, and social media is full of those things.

I know there are some parts of a life without social media that are equally unhealthy — being isolated in some sense, being disconnected from my queer and disabled communities, etc — but I can’t really justify going back on social media for those reasons.

see, at the moment, I’m either entirely online or entirely offline. it’s the ADHD. so unless I can get myself to forget social media exists, I will be on it an unhealthy amount. and as someone who is dealing with a smorgasbord of mental and physical illnesses, I can’t afford to let myself be dragged into that place.

so! until I learn how to live a more balanced life with more impulse control and less fucks to give, I’m going to continue to have it cut out of my life entirely.

the hope is that I’ll one day return to the social internet without being pulled into it. but that’s secondary to the goal of getting myself to a place where I feel healthy and happy and generally satisfied with my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever return, and if I do, I don’t know when that will be. I don’t think this is something you can set a deadline for.

I apologise to any of my mutuals who may have been worried about my sudden disappearance, and I apologise to anyone who has sent me an ask or DM that I haven’t been able to answer. thank you for your patience, and I hope to see you all again on the other side.

be well,

Griffin

so. in summary. I’ve been back on tumblr for not very long and so far:

I need to leave this website

yeah, I meant more like “it’s okay to send asks about what happened” rather than “please send asks about the ins and outs of sexual violence and honey birdette”, but I understand how that misunderstanding could’ve happened

me: I am on tumblr to escape a conversation my family are having about sexual violence where my sister is being lesbophobic

tumblr: oh I guess that means you want to continue having this conversation, but online this time

this is something I thought about when I made the first of these posts. the first in the series spent a couple hours in drafts while I tried to figure out what words would be right. the conclusions I came to were:

my aim is never to tell people that there’s something “wrong with them”. it’s simply that there kind of is a “normal” or a “standard experience” (for lack of a better word). it’s also reflecting my experience of having a series of moments of “omg I thought that was normal”

finding the right language is difficult, and I don’t think the perfect word is out there. so while I definitely understand the concern, I think this is a decision I stand by

I’m not looking for advice on how to pronounce “maroon” by the way. I know how y’all pronounce it, and I don’t like it :) everyone in my family pronounces it the same way, so I’m good :)

also we love the ALP openly hating disabled people on main after promising they’d be less ableist than the Coalition

not Taylor Swift reminding me that the way I pronounce “maroon” is not normal

huh???

if you mean in the trans sense: it literally says “multigender” on my pinned post. I know that I’m trans my dude

if you mean it in some other sense: I don’t know what you mean.

actually, in general, I would appreciate further explanation. what

2nd part of the ask here:

different things are going to work for different people. the reason grounding exercises are such a common suggestion for this is because a lot of people need to step out of the dissociative state before they can do anything else. it's also usually a pretty good starting point, as it's super hard to prevent dissociation once your brain has decided that it's a good coping mechanism

something that has helped me is to get into the habit of doing so-called "grounding exercises" even when I'm not dissociated or stressed. this also helps me to consciously identify emotions early and often, which is a good tool when we're talking about preventing maladaptive coping mechanisms

things that are helping me:

that's kind of all I can think of at the moment. working through dissociation is about re-learning how to notice yourself and notice the world around you. it definitely does not happen overnight, and you might not be able to prevent dissociation completely. but it is something you can reduce!

I wish you all the best, and I hope your brain isn't too unmanageable at the moment

also if you're wondering why I sound more unhinged than usual, it's because it is now 6:23am and I have been awake for three entire hours so far. we love getting approximately four hours of sleep