light dims

I love you so much it makes my heart feel the best way

Greed and pride

Greed first- the urge to take everything u want

Pride second- the lack in ability to admit you were wrong so you keep on doing what u know youre not supposed to bc you’re too prideful to admit your ass was wrong

northernruben

joli--coeur

waking up to the sound of rain >

northernruben

I bought diet pills when I was 17 and weighed 127 pounds.

I sliced my hips open when I remembered I was alone.

I let a boy convince me I was nothing without him, and then I left him. Then I wanted him back. I didn’t want him to get over me. I fucked with his head and he fucked with mine.

Then a few years later, I met a man. One who I’d known for forever. But never really new.

He made everything feel like it was ok. He made me feel safe in someone else’s arms other than no ones.

I had the consistent thought that me allowing myself to feel safe in someone else’s arms again would put me in posistion to get hurt like I’d been hurt before.

And I didn’t wanna fuck with this mans head. I couldn’t do that to him. I loved him too much.

So I tired to leave, I wouldn’t let him in. And I failed. He wouldn’t give up on me. And honestly that’s probably the only reason I’m still here.

northernruben

humansofnewyork

“When I was a child, it was up to me to feed our family because my father couldn’t work. I had a job at a motorcycle repair shop. Everyone would sit at home and wait for me to make money. Once we almost ran out of food. We didn’t have a single rupee and there was nothing to eat. I could handle it, but I couldn’t bear the thought of my baby sister going to sleep hungry. I sat at my shop all day, praying for a customer. But nobody came. Then just as night was falling, a man drove up with a puncture in his tire. The price of the repair was three rupees. But when I was finished, the man handed me twenty rupees and drove away. I was able to buy two kilograms of rice. My entire life turned around that day. My shop became very busy. We were never hungry again. Even today I think about that man. I never saw his face. He changed not just my life, but the lives of my entire family. I wonder who he was. Sometimes I think it was God himself.”

(Mumbai, India)

northernruben

humansofnewyork

“I have a big book about tiger conservation, and I always knew that the ocean was in trouble. But I didn’t really become an environmentalist until I got to grade one. That’s when I thought of many interesting ways to help. Some things you can do are reduce waste, carpool more often, spread awareness, plant trees, not cut trees, cut carbon emissions, and reduce nuclear disposal. I’m too young to start nuclear disposal because it’s dangerous and I don’t have the proper gloves. But I do recycle and keep plants on my balcony.” (Mumbai, India)

northernruben

lovelyscribblings

believe me, i know

there is nothing more heartbreaking

then laying in your bed at night

thinking, i can’t get up in the morning

but you do

you always do.

and you realize there is nothing you can do

about the constant repetition we’re stuck in

of love, hate, happiness, grief

but waking up

to a broken heart

feels like your day is over before it even began.

how do i cope

with this feeling of having so little

and still getting up every single day

and moving on?

when the little things are no longer enough to keep you going?

that is where i am

just a few inches off rock bottom

close enough that i hit it every time i stumble even a little

and every time it’s harder climbing, scraping, dragging myself up

because i already know what’s going to happen.

i will just fall back down again.

my happiness is always so tainted

joy does not exist

for me anymore.

pure, simple joy.

i became insatiable

after the one thing i wanted more than anything was taken away from me

and the love of my life

chose someone else.

see, they always leave.

and they are lucky.

i have to stay here with me.

northernruben

blooming-anna-rose

Things you need to know about her. I. She loves the rain, so don’t be surprised when she runs outside without shoes and dances in the street while the rain soaks her hair. II. You might find pens on her bedroom floor, but don’t move them. She likes picking them up when she has an thought to write about. III. She doesn’t like coming back from vacations, so remind her where home is. IV. She feels in extremes so you need to be her median. V. She needs change every once in a while so don’t be surprised when she comes home with her hair short instead of her usual long hair. VI. She needs validation every once in a while that she isn’t a burden so give it to her okay? VII. She has a hard time telling people when she is upset so she might burst into tears over a small thing but just hold her and wipe her tears. VIII. If she has her trust broken again, she might not be able to let anyone else in so please don’t hurt her. IX. She bites her nails when she is stressed out, so hold her hand so she doesn’t start that habit again. X. When she feels happy and smiles real big, turn on her favorite song and dance with her okay? She needs to feel happy with someone or else she starts feeling alone. XI. She loves rolling down her windows in the car when it’s night time, it might be a little cold but let her keep them down because she sticks her hand out and she smiles when she feels the cold wind on her fingertips because it lets her know that she is alive. She smiles so just let her. It’s kind of the best thing in the world.

N.C. // things you need to know (via blooming-anna-rose)