northerngreen reblogged
Xie Lian is very patient, but, even that has its limits! XD
northerngreen reblogged
'Alastor was so chill while challenging Vox' no the fuck he was not. He was just acting calm. Because that's what he does with Vox, acts like he's beneath him because he knows it pisses him off. He literally heard him talking shit from across the street and hauled ass across the city to his station to do a radio show. You better believe the second he was off the air he let out a torrent of swears against Mr. TV man, the same way he did in Vox's very first appearance.
northerngreen reblogged
Astarion 🤝 Large Giant Spider: my sweet *wraps and eats you*
northerngreen reblogged
reading more about waterdeep and waterdhavians explains so much about gale:
class & station
Instead of the fragmenting and distinct splits based on income or birth, Waterdeep has nullified such differences almost entirely. "Social level" and "class" are far less important in Waterdeep than in other cities of the Realms (and elsewhere) any prejudices against folk due to race, creed, or coin are brought in by visitors from outside the walls, and are not tolerated to a large extent. The crossroads nature of the city and the up-and-down fortunes of those who make their living in trade keeps the inhabitants of the city tolerant of a wide variety of peoples, with widely varying customs, religions, and incomes. [...] In Waterdeep, low birth or station is not a recipe for rudeness from one's betters, beyond what one's actions would earn from one's equals in any case—if you are ridiculed in Waterdeep, you brought such treatment upon yourself!
character & temperament
"Live and let live" best describes most Waterdhavians' attitudes; everyone is far too busy in the pursuit of wealth and happiness. [...] The cosmopolitan nature of the City of Splendors makes its natives very tolerant. They tend to be talkative, friendly, easygoing, and outspoken, but do not expect others to be. [...] Natives of the City of Splendors are notoriously slow to take offense. A Waterdhavian will plainly state his or her feelings as a warning before showing anger. One is more apt to hear "I don't find that amusing, friend," said pleasantly to a stranger before an angry voice is raised. Some visitors misinterpret such behavior as cowardice or ignorance ("he was too stupid to know I insulted him!"); if they act on such misjudgments, however, surprise and regret are the usual results.
other races
Most Waterdhavians are slow to take fright unless facing magic or monsters. Beings of almost all races may be seen in the city, too. A typical Waterdhavian would react with hostility and fear only to a drow, an illithid, nonhuman natives of the Lower Planes, and, of course, "monsters" such as beholders and dragons; with all others, it's generally "business as usual." [...]
smalltalk
Waterdhavians do not discuss the weather, unless in a profession governed by it like farmers or sailors. Small talk and idle chatter normally centers on matters of commerce, and secondarily on warfare elsewhere in the Realms. Waterdhavians take a sporting interest in such happenings as the constant minor strife in the South, the recurring unrest and bloodshed in Tethyr, and traditional and long standing shipping discord between Ruathym and Luskan. [...]
northerngreen reblogged
Astarion's comments after final battle
Ascended!Astarion: The Underdark? You poor thing. I have a palace, you can sleep on one of a hundred couches until you're on your feet.
Spawn!Astarion: The Underdark? Now that's a thought. Just not to the Drow - they don't treat pretty boys too kindly. Or any boys at all, really.
Ascended!Astarion: How wonderful, but do try not to limit yourself. You've just saved the world, now is not the time to become boring.
Spawn!Astarion: Just remember who your friends are, will you? In case you start to become... well, you know, hungry.
Ascended!Astarion: I suppose we'd better honour Gale - perhaps there's a library somewhere that has a bar and a room full of virgins.
Spawn!Astarion: I suppose we'd better honour Gale, - perhaps there's a library somewhere that has a bar...
Ascended!Astarion: It's not so bad in the dark. Only about half of the Baldurian sewers are active.
Spawn!Astarion: You are braver than I could ever dream to be. I hope we will meet again, on a cloudy night.
Ascended!Astarion: Yes! We should see if the Elfsong's still standing. It's been so long since I've had a fine wine. And we have more than earned it.
Spawn!Astarion: Yes! We should se if the Elfsong's still standing. I won't imbibe, but I'll be happy to be away from here, and in your company.
Ascended!Astarion: Although I suppose there is a lot to do here - power to consolidate, a palace to claim. It will take time.
Astarion: But first, you and I are going to find the most hedonistic establishment in this city, and we are going to have a night that will go down in legend.
Astarion: After everything, I think I've earned it.
Ascended!Astarion: Walk safely into the dark. You were truly tentacular.
Spawn!Astarion: I hope the nights and shadows treat you well. You're an odd friend. But, I suppose, a friend still.
Ascended!Astarion: You're joking. After everything we've been through, you expect me to do manual labour?
Spawn!Astarion: After everything, that's your suggestion? Aren't you tired? I'm tired.
Ascended!Astarion: Why stop at Amn? There's a whole world out there - we just have to take it.
Spawn!Astarion: It would be good to travel. It's been so long, kidnappings aside.
Ascended!Astarion: True, we have served our respective purposes. We're free to go wherever we wish.
Spawn!Astarion: Oh, you can't mean that. After all this? (devnote: to suggestion of the party going its seperate ways)
northerngreen reblogged
There's something about how in Act 3 after Gale has visited the Stormshore Tabernacle, he tells the player (if romanced);
“I would much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness, and feeling. No god could ever compare.”
It's worth noting that throughout the game one of Gale's most prominent characteristics is his very expressive eyes, we see it in almost all of his scenes when he looks at the player, in particular his Act 2 and Act 3 romance scene, as well other instances throughout.
But compare that to Gale after he becomes a god, his eyes are no longer the same soulful, emotional eyes as before, but glowing with ambition even if he's trying to express his emotions. He'll never truly look at the player like he once did, even if he still loves them.
northerngreen reblogged
Horny but for a little snooze w/ you. Absolutely slut for a quick nap w/ you. Total whore for a cozy little snuggle f/ you.
northerngreen reblogged
Thinking about Gale's spellbook.
Not the old one, the one he carried when he was Gale, the Wizard of Waterdeep - a gorgeous, leather-and-silver bound thing that bulged with a lifetime's worth of accumulated knowledge. There were spells in there penned over wine and cheese with Elminster; in a flow state that bordered on the spiritual after a night with Mystra, remembering her instruction, the feel of her soul against his. That spellbook was the testament to his success, the proof that he had excelled beyond the excellent -
And then Mystra cut him off from the Weave, and it all become meaningless.
His own runes, rendered incomprehensible; beautiful spell-glyphs that turned from condensed power and knowledge to worthless pieces of art. He has to start anew, from the ground up - reforging his connection to the Weave without Mystra's guidance (without her, without), relearning schoolboy spells. Humiliatingly easy magic, the kind he used to do like it was breathing, except this time he has to study and work and try and try, Tara urging him on with firm but gentle words.
He learns different spells, now. Mage Armour, Shield, Magic Missile. Not the kind of spells that he'll ever need on a day-to-day basis; spells that'll keep him alive long enough when he makes an exodus to the depths of the Underdark, or the centre of some desert wastes, and goes supernova.
northerngreen reblogged
deadly love for wounds.
caravaggio // guercino // natalie diaz // maryanne bilham // sierra demulder // jenny holzer.
northerngreen reblogged
felix not acknowledging oliver’s assertion that he had to ‘put on a show’ for felix made up of lies about living in poverty and having a bad home life in order to be befriendable makes that first conversation scene so fucking funny bc felix really does look like he flung his legs wide open the exact moment that oliver said he had problems
“what kind of…what do you mean, problems?” the way he’s twisting in place lmaaaoooooo he is definitely gonna have to dry off that seat when he gets up to leave. that pussy is DRIPPING
northerngreen reblogged
Barry Keoghan scene on ‘Saltburn’ 🔥
northerngreen reblogged
Astarion has so much guilt about victims like Sebastián because he had no excuse for targeting them beyond wanting to feel good, himself, and get some comfort for an evening.
I'll elaborate
No matter what, he HAS to try to bring back a victim. This is the order, and yeah he railed against it a few times and tried to escape/refuse but it's quickly shown that he gets that beaten out of him
So, who does he usually target? Easy prey. Drunks, brothel-goers, idiots. His words. He brings back people that are easier to catch, won't be missed, ect. But what is the reality of having to do that?
- Victims who are unwashed, sometimes to the extreme
- Victims who are physically and verbally abusive
- Victims who are esthetically unappealing/unattractive to him, sometimes to the extreme
- Shitfaced drunk victims who have all the appeal of your average shitfaced drunk
Then there were the unlucky, these would be neutral victims that he probably felt suffered the same fate of wrong place wrong time, like getting crushed by a falling air conditioning unit except it's getting brought back to Cazador.
But "then there were a few Sebastians"
His type. Soft, sweet, innocent. Genuinely interested in him. Caring. Beautiful. A victim that Astarion could actually pretend with, if only for a night. Where he could fake being on a real date, where he could dream of being free to make his own choices.
And by doing this, by targeting THESE people, he knows he's murdering them just for a brief chance at an encounter that serves him slightly. He's trading their entire lives for an evening away from his own torment.
He can rationalize the deaths of theives, beggars, predators, rapists, drunks,slobs, Because he dehumanizes them or judges them as not being worth a life (or having much of a life) anyway.
But those sweet moments where he got to play pretend? He can't excuse himself. He can't. He knows what he's done. He knows exactly what he's done and how he's ruined someone who otherwise would have or COULD have otherwise had a beautiful life. Been a good person, contributed to the world. He traded that for a brief, brief respite from his own personal hell.
No wonder he wanted to kill all the Spawn down there. No wonder he didn't want to face it. Because can you judge a dagger for being used to murder someone? No, you judge the wielder. He could easily have written off so many of them as him just being Cazadors dagger.
It's the ones he chose.
Those ones are the crux of his guilt.
northerngreen reblogged
A few moments between Armand and Marius that I love ❤️
Marius rescuing Amadeo from certain death, caring for him, loving him, cherishing him, and making the boy smile for the first time in a long time.
Amadeo is sick with a fever and he pushes his cheek to Marius' cheek to cool off (TVA pg 51)
Marius hires four new chefs after Amadeo tells him the Arabian food he ate for three days in the brothel was better than the food he was served at home (TVA pg 65)
Marius' beautiful painting of Amadeo
Armand writing a note to Marius telling him to start acting like a proper master 😂
Armand seducing Marius so utterly that he breaks his years-long fasting and drinks from him. (TVA pg 58-59)
Amadeo grabbing a battle axe and smashing down Marius' door when he would not let him in and talk to him - when Marius is being stubborn and emotional ❤️🪓 (TVA pg 79)
"Sir, mind my Master. You weary him, and in weariness he is a perfect crank" - Armand speaking of Marius (TVA pg 102)
Marius tells Bianca he loves her for her heart and for protecting Amadeo (TVA pg 215)
"You love me," I said, "as I am now, even more than before." "Oh, yes," he said. He hugged me roughly and kissed my throat all over, now, and my shoulders, and began to kiss my chest. "I can't hurt you I can't snuff out your life with an accidental embrace. You're mine, of my flesh and of my blood." (TVA pg 158) (the cute aggression! 🥹)
"Marius must have seen this hesitation. He passed his right hand through the very fire of the torch, and touched his warmed fingers to my cheek. Then he kissed me where this warmth hovered, and his kiss was warm." (TVA pg 179)
"I gasped. I turned my head and fell stupidly into Marius's arms. "Don't cry, Amadeo," he said tenderly in my ear." (TVA pg 187)
Marius and Armand drink from the same victim, and sometimes Marius holds the victim just for Armand to drink from (TVA pg 165)
Armand goes to sit and write after Marius punishes him. Marius approaches him and Armand knows it's to kiss him. Despite having just been punished, he lifts his head for the kiss even before Marius bends down. Marius confessing later he hates punishing Amadeo (TVA pg 206)
Marius hates punishing Amadeo, and always gives him kisses or pleasure afterwards. Amadeo always lavishes it.
How they nearly always greet each other with hugs and kisses, no matter the circumstances.
Armand mentioning that he avoids Marius because he is afraid he will fall completely back in love
Their mutual obsession with technology - While Armand is obsessing over blenders and microwaves, Marius is in awe over film and cameras.
"Marius stared at the distant house. My world trembles and I think of him, my Amadeo, my Armand." (QotD pg 242)
"Yes, my old child...." he murmured. He felt the longing for Armand again like music, like Bartók's violin phrases played in a remote and safe place where there was all the time in the world to hear. (QotD pg 248)
"Centuries ago in a palazzo in Venice, he had tried to capture in imperishable pigment the quality of this love. What had been its lesson? That in all the world no two souls contain the same secret, the same gift of devotion or abandon; that in a common child, a wounded child, he had found a blending of sadness and simple grace that would forever break his heart? This one had understood him! This one had loved him as no other ever had." (QotD)
"I love you," Marius whispered suddenly, passionately as a mortal man might. "I have always loved you. I wish that I could believe in anything other than love at this moment; but I can't." (QotD)
It was then that Marius came. He was trembling. "Unburnt, whole," he whispered. "My son." He had that wretched neglected old gray cloak over his shoulders, but I didn't notice then. He embraced me at once, which forced my girl and my boy to step away. They didn't go far, however. I think they were reassured when they saw me put my arms around him and kiss him several times on the face and mouth, as we had always done so many years ago. He was so splendid, so softly full of love." (TVA)
northerngreen reblogged
Anonymous asked:
here for the armand writing tips 🙏🏽
I love u sm anon ur so iconic for this bless u 🙌🙌 I love that u saw me publicly slut shaming @butchybats + extending an invite for him to hmu so that I can info dump about armand and u were like omg I can not pass up this opportunity. Ur so real and this made my day. My bad if this is unhelpful or incoherent lmaoo I am just raw dogging this educational experience. For me writing armand has always come very naturally so this is the first time I’m thinking about this in a way I could explain to other ppl. I hope u get smth out of whatever tangent I’m about to embark on and I sincerely thank u bcus I love this and I love talking about army u r indulging tf out of me in the absolute best way. Also quick disclaimer I am going off of book armand, so tho this may be helpful to show fans (esp cuz show armand doesn’t rlly have an established personality yet) it may not specifically apply. Anyways
I understand why Armand would feel like a difficult character to write bcus part of his whole deal is that he is very strange and unknowable. No one knows what Armand’s deal is, nor does he, so how r u as the writer meant to figure that shit out. He is like a void of a person basically (affectionate). He is barely capable of conscious self reflection, most characters don’t rlly know what to make of him and those that claim to r often wrong. So I get it, feels intimidating. But for me breaking down Armand to his essentials puts it into perspective a bit.
Armand doesn’t really know how to be a person, he is only a Thing when other people are there to give him something to work off of. So he’s a different character depending on who he is interacting with. Armand with Daniel is very different then Armand with Louis, Armand with Lestat is a whole different beast, etc. He is always playing a sort of role, with Daniel he is the boss slash master vampire commanding the mortal. With Louis he is an ancient with the answers Louis has been looking for. But the performance is often cracked, unveiled whether intentionally or not, especially by those Armand loves, so what is beneath that? Well. Kind of a child. Think of a kid in their dad’s shoes. Now imagine the kid is putting on a very deep voice and standing up all straight and professional. Then he trips, and suddenly he starts crying and screaming and yelling for mommy cuz he hurt his knee. That’s Armand, when u get down to it. Like a scary man in a suit who is secretly a little boy on stilts. But wait! There’s more.
Armand is not only an actor, he is also not a very good actor. He’s like those myths about faes replacing human children, very uncanny valley, not rlly a person. So in any given situation, armand is going to be just a little bit off. Just a little odd, a tad wrong. Think of a scenario (it can be sexual you awful heathen, or it could be like, guy is in the grocery store. Or smth) now think of something that would be a little off putting and strange to do in this situation. Chances r this would be in character for armand. I always think of him as something who doesn’t know what it means to be a person, yet is always trying to learn and understand and to pretend, but never really succeeds.
Armand also has conflicting facets of his identity that come into play in different ways and inform how he interacts with different characters. Amadeo is the beginnings of the person that was never able to completely form and grow. So Amadeo is like the normal bits of Armand, the human teenager who’s playful and funny and empathetic, a bit rude, kind of weird but he means well, likes technology. Gives Lestat a light punch on the shoulder when he ruffles his hair, etc. Amadeo rarely plays into sex for Armand, sex is very clinical for him—he approaches sex like an alien. But Amadeo is still there and when Armand is happy or care free some of the unsettlingly oddness goes away, and he seems sort of like a mortal teenager for a moment. The innocence and the moments of childishness are when Armand is most sincere. Though this is fleeting, and he often behaves cold and distant and inhuman. What I like to remember when I write Armand is that he is not unfeeling, tho he pretends to be. He acts unfeeling but it’s a mask, beneath the mask his unfiltered self is extremely feeling and emotional and sensitive. He’s as much of a cry baby as Lestat, he’s just better at hiding it.
Andrei is also there, but he is much subtler, and he’s more so the embodied longing in armand that never really goes away. There is a need for answers and for knowledge and for guidance in armand always, and that’s Andrei, searching for his God or his family or his home or his culture, that were taken from him and never adequately replaced. Armand clings to purposes and things and people because he never learned how to fill that void left by the loss Andrei experienced, and then again Amadeo experienced due to Marius and the cult. He is the culmination of so many years of a child’s growth being repeatedly stunted by adults with selfish purposes, a child who keeps getting beaten down or molded into smth different by ppl who want to make him into smth new, until he ends up a creature without a concept of who he is at all. So he’s fractured almost, not rlly with a consistent identity since he was never permitted to grow one. Just a culmination of a bunch of identities he took on throughout the years. Im sure this sounds complicated, but the great thing about being a writer with a character like this is he may be a void, but he is also a canvas. Armand is so multifaceted that u could do sm with him and it wouldn’t be ooc
So in simpler terms, a good rule of thumb when writing armand, is to think of him as a guy who is a ball of extreme feeling and pain and joy and emotion that is being masked by a cold demeanor, that is often slightly off, a little wrong, cuz it’s first untrue. He is always trying to find a purpose to fill the void that he is, and he never rlly does for very long.
So when it comes to portraying this? Lol uhhhh. There are some many layers of armand that exist and it’s up to you to decide which ones u want to portray in ur scenario. Say for example, ur writing a fic where armand and Lestat argue. You have to evaluate Lestat’s affect on armand, his closeness with him, the context, etc, and decide what parts of armand would slip out. If I was writing a fic like this I would think ok. So Lestat is like a trigger button for armand, they hate each other but they love each other, is a lot of big emotions and passion, and Lestat also reminds armand of the most vulnerable parts of himself that he is trying to keep under wraps. So Lestat and armand arguing? Likely armand is going to be cold and distant, but not for long, bcus quickly Lestat will get under his skin and cause him to revert to unmasked emotion ball screaming crying. How about, uh, Daniel and armand go on a fluffy date devils minion era. I’d write armand as odd, strange even, curious and excited but sort of cold and distant in a confusing way. Little slips of sincere childlike joy and emotion come out but they r brief.
I hope this is making sense lmao.
It’s much easier when writing armand, esp if it’s smth ur not confident in, to write from someone else’s pov. Armand’s pov is a tough one, even for me. It’s not that his language or sentences r strange, it’s just that the way he thinks of the world and himself is so specific and unique that u gotta think a lot to replicate it.
Armand, especially pre TVA, is nearly incapable of self reflection. He is so dissociated from his own experiences he sees his memories and life in fragments rather then events leading into each other that inform a larger context and “theme”. For example, in devils minion he explains to Daniel that he couldn’t explain what a time of his life “was like” because he can’t conceptualize concepts like that, tho he could tell Daniel if it rained on a specific date, cuz that is smth concrete to him. he just couldn’t identify what smth is like bcus he doesn’t reflect on his emotions and his experiences in a way that would allow him to make a judgement like that.
He just goes through life and doesn’t look back. This is a hard pov to write from cuz these r basic capabilities a first person narrator must have for a story to make sense lmfao! Armand couldn’t say, “the day was a bad one bcus this happened and I was sad.” Especially not “this experience affected me this way and now I this this and this.” However, if u want to write from Armand’s pov u can integrate these ideas into it while retaining this part of Armand’s character.
Tho armand can not self reflect, and his way of thinking and experiencing is a very bare bones simplistic way (think of armand saying “my soul hurt” in TVA narration then not explaining lmfao, that’s the extent of his self awareness and abilities to identify his emotions) u can convey complex ideas through his simplistic approach. Through context clues, symbolism (armand loves symbolism), and word choice + description, it’s cool and possible to convey armand having a moment etc without using ur first person tools to have him self reflect. For example, if I were to write from Armand’s pov were he is having like, a traumatic flashback, instead of writing “the moment forced me to remember insert traumatic time here and my heart raced as it came back to me suddenly, and I felt like I was back there” or whatever, I’d write “flashes of red appaeared b4 my vision like many stabbing knives, and it felt as if I was engulfed in an ocean of red suddenly, unable to escape the waves, the blood, those voices of many pasts” whatever yada yada. Cuz red armand considers synopsis with pain and trauma (he tends to see it b4 his eyes when he’s in pain synesthesia king) ocean reminds him of dying of starvation in the brothel as a kid (he described it as the only thing he payed attention to as he died, the lapping sounds of the water). Past, etc. bad example I hope u get it 😭
U just gotta rlly think for armand pov lol. So if ur nervy about writing armand anyway I recommend starting or practicing with writing from someone else’s perspective about him. Daniel is a very good character to do this with, bcus his perception of armand is relatively accurate and he is a very bluntly descriptive and self reflective character who understands himself and others very well. Lestat is also very self reflective and his perception of armand is pretty easy to write imo lol. If u just write some shit like “armand was beautifully broken, like a discarded doll in an antique shop, and I wished sadly that he’d allow me to repair him.” Then you’ve got it down pretty well lmfao.
When it comes to more specific less big picture stuff, like how to write armand talking or what does armand fuck like Ryan save me from this hell, I recommend reading his scenes a Shit Ton until it’s rlly burned into ur brain like me. I don’t know if I can adequately explain how armand talks, it’s very blunt—he’s very blunt but simultaneously very flowery. Remember he is a guy who is trying to be distant, and doesn’t rlly understand how being normal works, but he also has a vibrant inner life and a shit ton of emotion waiting to boil over beneath the surface. Yah. Lmfao.
I’m sorry this was so weird and confusing, I hope it was interesting or helpful lol. I’m so tired lmfao.sorry it turned in to meta 😭 It was hard trying to come up with advice for a prompt so non specific but I had a hella great time and ily for this anon. If anyone wants to ask me more specific questions about writing armand I would be so happy. Xoxoxo love y’all sm loool
northerngreen reblogged
I like that Last Unicorn quote as much as the next guy but I do always wind up feeling a little detached from analysis that paints Astarion's disapproval as purely envy. Partly because. No one's doing this for Lae'zel for instance even though she has similar disapproval and similar trauma (all she can remember is a hostile physically and emotionally exploitative environment which expected perfect strength and obedience from her or else she would be punished or killed). But also partly because it feels pretty detached from everything he actually has to say about it.
The thing about Astarion is he loathes weakness. He loathes sentiment and he loathes dependence. You can see this when he actually opens his mouth up about the people he disapproves of saving, but also incredibly loudly when he talks about the other companions, as well as his fellow spawn. If Lae'zel submits to Vlaakith he talks scornfully about how some people just come to love their chains. He's confused and put off if Wyll submits to Mizora to save his father. In every conversation with his fellow spawn (at least when hes not actively manipulating them) he's dismissive and harsh, and clearly he's perfectly willing to sacrifice them for the sake of himself.
There's an obvious origin point of those feelings, of course. Cazador's abuse is designed to actively kill off empathy in his spawn, both towards each other and towards victims. The last time Astarion prioritized someone over his own skin he got locked in a tomb for a year. We can see glimpses of it with the other spawn too, how his siblings are (apparently uncompelled at first) willing to drag Astarion back to their master for their freedom, how Petras' first dream of freedom is getting to drain another person dry. Astarion certainly doesn't seem to feel any real sense of solidarity with them, likely because Cazador understands that them building a community is a threat to his authority the way it was to his own master.
I'd also argue its Astarion projecting his own self-loathing outwards. So much of his quest is about his desperate attempt to escape from who he was. He's been given a chance to slip free of the limitations of being a spawn. He clings to that because of course he would. He also instinctively begins to run over everything in his path, because if there's anything he has learned over the past 200 years its that good things can always be taken away unless you make sure to remove any and all possible threats to that scrap of well-being. He's disdainful of people in need of help because they represent who he fears to go back to being! He calls his siblings "poor fools" while refusing to confront the fact that had it not been for the tadpole he would be in exactly their position, forced to cling to the hope that Cazador is telling the truth for once because escape isn't an option either way. He becomes irritated when Tav slows down to help the unfortunate because they represent roadblocks on his own path to safety.
There's an idea in mental health stolen from airplane safety: that you shouldn't help anyone else until your own mask is secure. What they don't tell you, speaking from personal experience at least, is that PTSD, especially for long term trauma, has a way of making you feel like your own mask will never be secure. And while that's scary, and it sucks, and there should be the utmost patience for it: no one is going to realize that mask is secure for you. Eventually you are going to have to accept the fact that you are breathing just fine. Eventually you are also going to have to accept that people asking something of you isn't them endangering you, even if it can sometimes (often) feel like it. It doesn't make you obligated to help them. But it does mean you have to stop reacting to them like a threat, because not 5 minutes ago that was you.
I think the idea that he's only mad because he's jealous is a gratifying fantasy. He didnt feel safe before, but now through your PC and the power of love he'll feel warm and cozy enough to forgive you for not being there to begin with. But I also think Astarion cannot live in a reality where he's never pushed back on. His instinctive self-protective movements are a coping mechanism, yes, but coping mechanisms developed under survival conditions can also be a way of keeping you frozen in your trauma. Outside of the environment they were necessary for, they can even hinder you from growing in the ways you need to grow to move past what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to stop a baby tiefling from getting crazy murdered by a snake because it turns out. That can happen to anybody not just people who are weak and stupid and deserve to die anyways not like me I'm normal-
northerngreen reblogged
Are you constantly wanting to do A Thing but never know how to do The Thing?
Does figuring out where to start a task and knowing what steps need to be taken to complete the task stress you out?
Lemme introduce you to...
For example, you want to clean your oven.
You simply go to the website and in the "Add new item" box, you type "clean the oven". You can then also use the lil chillies next to the plus to change the level of breaking-down you'd like. Next, hit the magic wand-looking button to break it down!
You can check off items as you go, and further break things down if desired!
It works on large tasks such as planning a cross-country trip, writing a book or going on vacation and smaller tasks such as cleaning an oven.
There's also tools for task time estimation, meal-prep that takes into account dietary constraints, equipment and such, and a braindump compiler.
It's available as an IOS/Android app for less than a dollar, or a free web app. I can't hype this up enough, the developers deserve so much love for this.
Yo. This is no joke. I liked the idea of it, so I spared the dollar to give it a look. I figured even if I had to make the steps myself, it would still be helpful to have a place to put them. I have to get fingerprinted for tutoring and I keep putting it off, and it's entirely because I have trouble breaking down the steps.
I set the slider to give me the second highest level of breakdown and pushed the button.
That's EXACTLY what I need. Holy shit.
northerngreen reblogged
this line delivery shook me so hard i had to go back and record it
northerngreen reblogged
The Blue Key
On her first night in her new home, after a lavish dessert of strawberry cheesecake and cream, her new husband handed her a clinking set of keys across the dining room table.
“You can go anywhere in the house,” her husband told her, “except the basement.”
He showed her the key to the basement. It was midnight blue.
“Why? Is the basement where you keep the bodies?” she asked, with half a smile.
He didn’t smile back. “Do you promise me?”
She studied him carefully, feeling the weight of the basement key in her hand.
There were many keys to the house - hefty ornate keys for their front and back doors, a pretty gold one for their bedroom, a dozen little silver and brass ones for any other lock in the house that she might come across. Windows and cabinets and the like.
The basement key was almost insubstantial against her palm. Negligible. The sort of key that was easily lost, that looked like it might belong to a doll house more than a proper estate.
She couldn’t read his expression.
“You can’t tell me what’s in there?”
“I will know if you open the door,” he said, “and everything that we are will end.”
She laughed again, uncertainly, because the words were surely absurd and certainly not like him. He could have simply told her it was dangerous and so best avoided, or not given her the key to the basement in the first place. She doubted she would have given it all that much thought among all the other rooms.
Yet, his words instead piqued curiosity.
Once again, he did not smile. He stared at her solemnly, with a hint of something haunted that she had only caught flickers of during their courtship.
The laughter died in her throat.
He had been like something from a fairy tale from the moment they met; Prince Charming to pluck her out of the ashes of her drab life, even if she knew he had been married before. Everyone knew. Just as none of them had expected him to pick her. She had no experience in the running of manor houses, and no especially outstanding beauty nor fortune of her own to make up for that fault. In short, she was nothing like his first wife.
But, she had made him laugh, and she had liked him. God, how she had liked him – and liked him still – with such blushing ferocity that it almost made her dizzy.
Her new home was enormous, and beautiful, and filled with the kind of impossible luxuries that she had never even dared to dream of having. It was filled with him. She was nothing, and nobody, and he had given her the keys to be something and somebody else. Someone better. What was one small forbidden key against all that?
She knew the preciousness of privacy. Sometimes a secret could be the only thing that was really yours.
“Okay.” She bit her lip, and started to unhook the key from the ring. “Would you like it back, then? Just to be sure.”
He recoiled as if she’d drawn a knife on him and shook his head.
“Keep it,” he rasped. “Keep it safe. Keep it locked. Let it be forgotten.”
But from that moment on, though, she never really forgot about the blue key for a moment.
northerngreen reblogged
Russian car mod
Based
I guarantee that whatever car mod you expect to see going into this is not going to be what you get
northerngreen reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Wait but tell me more, what kind of math does our godforsaken measuring system make sense for? I'm horribly curious!
oh dear oh boy okay, I've tried to explain this to people and had them just get more annoyed, so I'll give it a shot, but no promises that it will make any sense. Disclaimer also that I don't really know what I'm talking about, I've just done a lot of baking, and ages ago I read something by Plato explaining why the musical scale is how it is, and I'm extrapolating from the two
(wow this turned out way longer than I meant it to because IT'S MIDNIGHT)
the metric system is a base 10 system, like most modern human math, so it is easy to use in the way people tend to do math these days - ie, by sitting down with either a piece of paper or a calculator and doing sums. It's a good system for a lot of things, especially scientific applications where you need to be VERY precise and don't want to waste time converting units, and need to do shit like calculus. It's a highly rational way of doing it...if you are literate.
if you aren't literate, or are less literate, it's not a sensible way to construct a measuring system at all. If you measure something and come up with 367.45 cm, that's nothing. You're going to forget it, and you can't easily divide it by anything, there's no way to go from here
But consider the English Foot. We've all been working with a base 12 system without realizing it, and without really utilizing it for what it's best for, which is easy mental division. This is where people get mad at me, they say math all gets terrible and ugly when you do it in feet, you end up trying to figure out how many sixteenths of an inch 0.135 is, or you end up with repeating decimals, and it all sucks super bad. To this I say yes, it does, because you're thinking like a modern algebra student, and not like a medieval bricklayer.
The base 12 system of the traditional English foot is fantastic for mental math, because 12 is a highly divisible number. It's easily divisible into halves, thirds, quarters, and sixths by most people in their heads. The inch is then typically divided into 1/16ths, which *super* suck to deal with on a calculator, but are really quite friendly if you just keep them as fractions like God and the Magna Carta intended. This is the kind of math most artisans need to do. You want supports placed evenly along a wall, to divide a piece of fabric in half, or to double a recipe. Nobody 1.7x's a recipe. Metric would be great for that, but why would you do that? It wouldn't be worth the math involved.
And listen, I also use a lot of metric baking recipes. Everything is in grams, you can measure everything the same way, and it's super accurate. They're great if you have a digital scale, but before the age of digital scales? Unfathomable. You (a medieval peasant) have a cup you've decided is The Cup, and sometimes you put in a half or a third or a quarter of that cup. THAT makes sense. Also, it's a lot easier to double something that calls for 1 cup of flour than it is when it calls for 136 grams of flour, and this is for me, a person who learned math in the typical modern way and always has a calculator in their pocket. I would have the sourdough recipe I make every week memorized if it wasn't in fucking grams. I DO have my pie crust recipe memorized. For every cup of flour you put in a third of a cup shortening, one tablespoon of butter, and start with 3 tablespoons of water (and a dash of salt). A double crust pie takes about 3 cups of flour, so that's one cup shortening. Easy! A third of a cup of shortening in grams is 68.3333333. That's nothing! That's garbage!
"Wouldn't it be more accurate to measure 68.3333333 grams, though?" Sure, but the amount of wet indigence you need to put in any baked thing changes with the fucking weather! That's why this recipe says "start with 3 tbs water." There's no need to be more accurate, and in fact it would make things more difficult.
Okay that turned into a tangent about how to make pie crust, a thing I think everyone should learn because pie crust is delicious, but i hope you get the idea. TLDR sometimes you just want to divide things in thirds and have it not suck ass. The eldritch sigil of measurement conversions is a little less threatening if you realize every step up or down is a factor of thirds or fourths
fuck oh no another half remembered piece of pop science coming at you - the largest number a typical human can hold in their head *without language* is 3. You don't need numbers to count to three, you don't need to count to be aware of three, you can just see three things and say "that's three." Don't believe me? That's the whole basis of Roman numerals. The numbers 1-3 are representational, after that they get more symbolic, and you never end up with more than three of the same symbol in a row. After III comes IV, not IIII, and it's just that III is much easier on the brain. For the same reason, a lot of English conversions are in factors of 4. There are 4 cups in a quart, and 4 quarts in a gallon, so you're only dealing with measurements that are easy to hold in your head without counting. You never have to count out 4 cups if you convert. You either need 3 cups or 1 quart. Does that make sense? Anyone who has done Big Cooking should know that if you have to count cups beyond 3 or 4 it becomes very easy to lose track.
Now i'm not saying it's all logical. It would be great if every step was a factor of 4, but they had to get fancy and throw pints in there. Pints aren't too bad, that's a factor of two, but I'll be the first to admit that it makes no sense for one tablespoon to equal three teaspoons instead of four. But because this is a system that evolved over time instead of being constructed intentionally, you have to cut it some slack. I'm sorry to anyone who decided to read this, I should be in bed, but I actually care a lot about this and I swear it's not just stockholm syndrome from Being American
