noot it

thanks dad

dyalated:

Why

when ur family come over for dinner and ask what youve been up to

Unfollowing anyone who posts or reblogs anything about “social issues”. I’m only here for Gaga, fashion inspiration, and gay porn.

In other words: “Unfollowing anyone who actually cares and tries to spread awareness about the injustice done to minorities. I don’t care about it because i’m privileged and it doesn’t effect me, so I only want to see dicks, clothes, and artflop on my dash”

Where is the lie though

dear men who feel like marriage is a trap and “taking away your freedom”, here’s a list of things you can do:

- not get married - literally - just don’t fucking propose - and if she asks you, say no - don’t get her hopes up - seriously what the fuck is wrong with you???

when someone makes a big deal out of nothing

Me trying to flirt in class: “So what school do you go to”

we’re gonna be weird adults

Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk

child: mom read me a story

me:

it’s funny because no responsible parent would do this

i am a wonderful mother with beautiful communist children stay in your lane

the only dates i need are tour dates

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS

when your mom walks up behind you while you’re blogging