a noodle

how write book?

like that but more

oh noooooo

people are always trying to humanize dracula and hes always trying to draculize humans

son it's dinnertime! take a break from your call of duties and come eat some call of flower with your family

dying.

conflicting reviews on tumblr.com

whenever I apply makeup I stop myself and think “would a male emo musician from 2007 put this on”

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

gamers are acc funny when they take time off from misogyny ?

in my sophomore year of college this guy made these items which quickly became a craze across campus. i myself bought one of his sweaters, which says “GOOD AND DEAD” across the chest and “ARM PAIN” along the sleeves. he showed up at 11 pm on a bicycle to deliver the goods in the dead of winter, wearing a metal t-shirt tucked into khakis. his facebook screen name is an indecipherable series of symbols. i have no authentic way to credit him but i want to share his art with you.

The Gollum game is such an incredible throwback. Back in the PS2 era that type of buggy movie tie-in game was a dime a dozen & no one would've even noticed but by virtue of coming out in 2023, the last of its breed, it's a king, beheld with quiet horror by all. It crashes every five minutes even on the best hardware and when apologizing for its instability the devs misspelled their own game's name

"It looks like a PS2 game" is usually an inane insult and I guess it is if used for graphics here but in every other way? Yes, it's exactly like something that went right into the budget racks in 2004. It captures the weird frenzy of LotR releases during the trilogy so perfectly, it's like those ones that had the book license but not the movie one or one of the weirder spin-offs EA jammed out to exploit the license

is anyone else on this hill or is it just me and sisyphus and kate bush?

Faces carved into the walls of the Paris Catacombs

Frenchmen be like “this pitch black cave full of skeletons is not scary enough, I must make it worse”

Extremely important image from my girlfriend’s fridge

theyve started filming Beetlejuice 2 and ppl are questioning why lydia is 50 and still dresses the way she did in the 80s (mind you we can only see the hair not the entire outfit).... people don't know adult goths exist? its not realistic to have a 50 year old goth woman with the same spiky bangs she had in the 80s? in the movie about dancing ghosts? where they can transport to worlds with giant worms? 50 year old goth lady is too unreal?

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend