For Nonbinary Men Who Love Men

woah i just want to be held while i cry and have someone run their fingers through my hair and tell me that i'm safe and that i'm a pretty boy and that i'm loved

leaning back onto his chest, smiling, feeling the warmth and comfort, his arms wrapped loosely around me, feeling each breath against mine, breathing in the familiarity and peace.

trans people will literally go “i have a complicated relationship with my history with gender and sometimes see it as a gender i ‘used to be’ and i don’t really look like a cis person of either gender and i don’t think i can fit it into simple categories” and everyone will spontaneously combust

i remember being at some lgbtqia+ group when i was at an all girl’s school and i was one of two trans people, i was the only butch or even vaguely masculine person in the room, and i said something along the lines of “i consider myself a guy who used to be a girl” and five minutes later one of my friends(if you would say that ig) went “yeah so he was always a boy, he just didn’t know it yet” about me. and i had to stand there like What Did I Just Say. Can Anyone Hear Me

now i make posts like “sometimes trans men used to be girls and sometimes trans women used to be boys and it’s ok if we think about it like that” and everyone immediately acts like they want me dead

to trans men: you don't have to and can stop apologizing for being a man. it'll save you. you don't have to hate yourself for the approval of transphobic assholes like that. trans manhood is quite literally nothing to be ashamed of.

does everyone know that my boyfriend is so amazing and incredible

everyone knows that cis people need to be less weird about trans bodies but trans people also need to be less weird about trans bodies. no one gaf if ur scared of bottom growth or thinks its weird. keep that shit to urself. ppl keep talking about normalising trans people who don't medically transition but like. don't normalise not wanting to medically transition to the point that medical transition is stigmatised bcs you guys r freaks about trans bodies. no one cares u think that either ftm or mtf bottom surgery is ugly or weird looking. keep that to urself

honestly its gay as fuck to even be a man

stop telling trans girls that "it's okay to be a feminine man" and start saying it to "cis" girls with a little bit of a fujoshi vibe instead. would have saved me years.

It is very simple.

1- Stop doing the whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing. That's buying into a sexist worldview even if you switch the values around to "the things I associate with women are good actually" like people tried to do with astrology. You just end up sounding like James Dobson.

2- Get principled about supporting bodily autonomy. Actually internalize the idea that people's bodies belong to them and they can change them if they want. The right to do this comes pre-installed on all people and no one needs to "earn it". You don't even need to conclusively prove that it would make you objectively happier or anything, you should be able to just do it if you want.

3- Understand that trans people are infinitely varied. Even the subcategories of trans people (such as trans women) are infinitely varied, just like cis people. There isn't one singular and universal trans experience just like how there isn't one singular and universal gendered experience. Don't rely on stereotypes and assumptions to form your idea of what being trans is like.

this website is so funny because every couple years we repeat the discourse of "which marginalised group is it morally okay for us to shit on?" and somehow nobody ever learns from it. we just look back and go, "hey, remember that time when everyone was joking about how ace people should all be put in meat grinders? that was so messed up. we should not have done that. anyway, here's my topical joke about how polyamorous people should all be put in meat grinders."

trans activists aren't anti-women trans is hope and trans is liberation.

btw you have to realize that there will be trans women who do not transition, who cannot transition, and do not want to transition, whether that is socially or medically or aesthetically or any combination of those. whether they like how they look or not, those girls will exist. and you dont get to belittle those women and girls for how they look or their choices in life, even if you are a trans woman and it makes you feel good because you hated your pre transition self or you’ve been hurt by men who look like that or whatever.

at what point is constantly reminding people that trans women don’t need to transition considered transphobic

when people stop treating nontransitioning transfems like absolute dogshit 😁

Or when you direct it at a trans woman who is seeking transition