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Transgender Disco Jesus

@nonbinary-hacker

You can call me Kaias. I don’t believe in moose.
(Trans | 21 | he/him);
| Romani-Creole |
É̸̦l̴̢͑d̵̤̃ŕ̸
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funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

  • i'm going to kill god
  • i'm going to delete my blog
  • i'm going to explode
  • i'm going to blow up this entire website
  • i'm going to become the joker
  • this is going to be my villain origin story

feel free to add on

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THIS ONE WINS

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oh you know

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What is homestuck? Is it like goncharov?

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wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

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Anyway here's some additions from the Maasai and Kikuyu, two grassy plain-dwelling groups from Eastern Africa that I think count as unfuckwithable

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Feel like Poland should be included since we're literally called "people of the fields" according to the etymology of Poland.

Also look at her GO

I’m Métis, here’s some of ours! You’ll notice it looks remarkably similar to the above.

We also have some less intricate clothing (if it looks a bit Victorian to you - that’s pretty much the right era for most of this!)

Can’t believe no one’s done it yet I will be the person to add the cowboys: Latin American focus.

Here is the Chilean huaso:

Gauchos, from primarily Argentina where they’re a large national symbol close to the level of cowboys in the US. Also gauchos are in Uruguay.  Their pants are called bombachas and the other garment wrapped around them are called chiripas.  They work in grasslands called pampas, known for being really fertile:

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While they’re not as dressed up as the others or have as prominent of a culture, for a broader Latin American cowboy context, I feel like also adding llaneros, who are from Colombia and Venezuela, in the llanos region, a type of tropical grassland similar to the pampas, hence the name llanero. Pampas get annual flooding and these guys would go barefoot a lot, and you can see that the stirrup on the horse’s saddle is really different than what you’re probably used to seeing, to accommodate for that, which is what I want to point out as an aspect of plains cultures developing clothing/accessories/tools to suit the environment. 

Cowboy culture happened wherever Spanish colonial influence and grassland biomes came together.  They differ based on the grasslands having different climates (ex tropical in South America), and the local indigenous influence (ex, backtracking to gauchos, they would use this tool called bolas to catch animals, which were basically two balls tied to a string that you threw and it spun around an animals legs, and were an indigenous invention):

I would love to keep posting cowboy dress lol but will stick to the post’s theme of grassland of course.  

Adding to the post, I, hereby, present people of Kalash and Chitral:

Chitral means ‘field’ in the native language Khowar. Both Chitralis and people of Kalash are known to be indigenous people of Asia.

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I love you grandmother who helped me pin a trans flag to my battle vest, I love you leather daddies checking on us, I love you trans dykes driving the forklift loaded with water and ice, I love you queer kids in your renfair outfits, I love you faggot punks sizing up the cops, I love you drag queens laughing in the dressing room, I love you i love you I love you I love y

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not to be a hater but if you’re gonna tag my post with this you might as well not reblog it at all

sometimes i forgot that for a lot of gay men being young, skinny/muscly, and hairless are pretty necessary requirements for the beauty standard, and therefore if you fall outside of those you have no sexual desirability, and that's mainly because i spend alot of time in online spaces/surround myself with mutuals/following gay porn blogs where being fat and hairy and middle aged are seen as extremely attractive qualities to have. and if i'm being completely honestly seeing gay dudes online sexually desire dudes who look more like me has done wonders for my self esteem.

i am not joking when i say if you constantly feel like shit because you think noone will want you, you should stop following exclusively muscle gays and skinny influencers, and find a good bear appreciation blog.

I have exactly one thing to say about shoplifting from large chains and it's this: if you're gonna do it then please take the whole product

Just take the whole pack, please.

This is the worst thing I've seen in my entire life

Nah OP, stealing the whole pack comes with complications (like storage and security tags) and I sure as hell ain't gonna judge a starving person for "not stealing correctly"

You don't have to take the packaging just please take the whole product that's in the packaging because it's less wasteful for everyone involved and you get more product it's a win win situation and no one has to clean up your mess other than write off and throw away the empty packaging

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

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WTF are those obelisks on the right?…

Tasty obelisk fries..

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“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.

“It’s digestible”

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“It’s digestible” is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who haven’t researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:

The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.”  Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index.  Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5]  In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.  Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.  Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.

The more you know! :D

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I have learned a new thing today.

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Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated

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I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.

but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!

Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.

Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food

And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes

This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.

It’s a net profit of information. 12/10 post

deeply fascinating when i only knew crisco before as “the thing marketed to so many grateful jews as an alternative to lard because we don’t eat pork.”

Instead of "live laugh love" or "home is where the heart is" my (wonderful, progressive, very accepting) dad put up the racism sign in the foyer

whats the racism sign?

The racism sign, as I like to call it, is from an art piece I made halfway through my first semester of art school:

It reads "any attempted theft will be reported to the police" in the 15 most commonly spoken languages by immigrants here other than English or other western european languages (in descending order).

This sign was only half of the art piece, the other half was the most stereotypically Icelandic painting I could think of:

When the piece was shown the painting and the sign were hung on opposite sides of the room, making the sign more of an afterthought for those who don't speak any of the languages written on the sign. Standing out just enough for them to notice it and maybe wonder what it said, but ultimately not giving it a second thought for the most part.

I wanted to highlight one of the most common ways racism and xenophobia present themselves here as well as the comfort of ignorance. The sign doesn't cater to you, you ignore it it, and you don't care what it might say. You don't have to think about it because it doesn't affect you.

For those who can read the sign though, or bother to translate it, this is just yet another reminder of people's ignorance and double standards. My inspiration for this piece came from my old workplace, where they had this sign hanging on one of the doors:

The main things that stood out about this to me were that

  1. It was the only sign on the premises written in anything other than Icelandic and/or English
  2. All of the additional languages (Vietnamese, Polish, Lithuanian, Latvian) specifically targeted minority groups that already face discrimination here
  3. The location of the sign. We only had 1 of these, and they chose to put it up somewhere where only staff would see it rather than the customers. In fact, it was right next to the break room so you had to walk past it every time you went on break. And it was a sign reminding people not to steal. Big win for inclusivity here

People love saying that we're not racist/xenophobic here even though we very much are. The problem is just that so many people don't take the time to look when it doesn't directly affect them. I was very happy with my piece because people actually came up to me and asked what the sign said because they wanted to know, it started a conversation and made those previously unaware of this issue more aware. I wonder if these sorts of signs would be anywhere near as commonplace as they are if more people looked at them critically and asked "why is this the thing we bother translating?"

Anyway, all that aside I love my dad and I like the way this art piece turned out but also I am slightly worried about giving people the wrong idea when this is the first thing they see when they enter our home 💀

Well if you want my permission to show it then you have it :))