I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

w-what if potato is actually lucky

Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th

No guys you don’t understand.

The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.

So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.

This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.

That’s not sad, that’s awesome.

*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing

This is humanity

Happy Birthday, Curiousity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity. 🎉

incredibly uncomfortable finding out a mutual of mine (thankfully one i wasn't very close to) has been rbing shit complaining about "theyfabs." absolutely vile, if you think that shit is anywhere near okay please weed yourselves out. unfollow, block me, whatever. apparently i haven't been vocal enough about this

your transphobia and bioessentialism is not made progressive by supposedly doing it in defense of other trans people. it wasn't cute when kalvin garrah did it. it's not cute when blair white does it. and it's not fucking cute when you do it either

Then Jason never kills again.

ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

for the people doomblogging in the notes: this isn't a "drop in the ocean fine" situation, 200 bil is already over half of his fortune lost... and he's not even done losing money yet! he's got a ton of lawsuits left to go through, owes Google money for trying to rent-dodge, destroyed Twitter's remaining brand value by rebranding to X, is playing lawsuit chicken with Microsoft as a direct result, and will have to pay off Twitter's debt... and shows no signs of even pausing to consider the stupidity of his decisions, especially as he's already plotting out loud to make a paypal alternative that breaks multiple international laws. whatever he has left is nowhere near enough to cover the debt he's currently in and unless he somehow gets it forgiven or magically earns more than he's losing, there's a countdown over his head running down until the IRS personally comes after him. unless his last remaining braincell wakes up and he hits the brakes, we might actually see someone speedrun going from richest man in the world straight to poverty, and you better believe i wanna see that :D GO FOR THE FINISH LINE, MUSKY BOY! ~Blue

Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green

like where is the green

Oh Christ

This is the color your cat is

colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat

I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.

every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it

I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy

Moldy forest cat

i'm happy y'all made fan art of my cat. i tried to show her and she just rubbed her face on my phone

Pet your cat OP, 50% shot it helps.

the first time I reblogged this, like a few weeks ago, it had like 4,000 notes. why do people keep insisting tumblr is dead

i had a DREAM about the green cat last night. not sure what she was up to but. nice to meet her :)

GREEN CAT IS BACK ON MY DAAAAAASH

We Love Green Cat

Just a green kitty doing their best

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

Would also be really annoying if they wore heat resistant gloves to throw back the hot tear gas canisters and if this got shared to all those protesting…

Would be a further shame if people started covering cameras (as seen in Hong Kong, with protestors using poles and rakes to lift cardboard boxes over security cameras), blinding drone optics with laser pointers, and flooding police-run reporting apps with junk data.

It would be a shame if the protesters noted that plainclothes cops can be identified a number of ways, such as wearing steel-toed boots; an armband or wristband of a particular color; driving white, black, or dark blue cars with concealed lights; or having the outline of cuffs visible in the back pocket or the bumps of an armor vest’s shoulder straps under their shirt.

It would be a shame if the protesters began making their signs out of inch-thick plywood to stop rubber bullets, forming a tight shield wall to prevent police from singling out and mobbing individual protesters. It would be a shame if the people behind the shield wall held up umbrellas so that tear gas canisters fired over the heads of the front line will be bounced away. It would be a shame if protesters began constructing improvised armor vests out of duct tape, hardback books, and ceramic tiles.

It would be a shame if protesters started wearing safety glasses, hard hats, respirators, and gardening gloves, all of which can be found at the same hardware stores as the plywood. It would be a shame if they started using traffic cones (the kind without the hole in the top) upside-down buckets, or other improvised lids to contain tear gas by placing them over the canisters.

It would be a shame if protesters learned that police scanners are legal to own in the US, allowing them to learn where police are moving and what routes they intend to take. It would be a shame if they discovered that these scanners can be used to send as well as receive, allowing them to flood the scanner frequencies with noise.

All this would be a terrible, terrible shame.

Hey it be even more of a shame to not use plywood

But Rubbermaid instead. Shame shame definitely DONT do that

It would be a shame if someone had to reblog this. Such a shame

The World Of Becca Blake

Art by Dan Schkade

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

World Heritage Post

personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird

Are we all forgetting that Randy Johnson then went on to make a sports photography company, and the logo for said company is the obliterated bird?

Reblog to punch Todd in the face

nimona meme dump bc i have regained the ability to take screenshots

bonus:

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.

Original post

Maybe not 100% in character but hey close enough

I just wanted an excuse to draw more funny expressions