Lots of changes

So ive been thinking about alot and i have had alot of changes happen as of late i learned im pansexual and tht im fine being with multiple ppl even if it sounds selfish im trying not to have it sound like tht i want to make others happy when they are with me and im fine with being with them romantically aslong as it fine with them it's super weird to think about but its how i feel whats right i love my girlfriend and she even pushed the idea more i even asked out a guy (he said he was sorry he didnt feel the same way but appreciated tht i cared about him)

I hope they dont just think they are in love cause they made each other feel good cause tht usually what happens with therapist and and their patients when the patient falls for the therapist cause they are just listening to them

It really does start all the same

So every convo tht leads to it always is the same and sadly they may all end the same oof learning something like this is saddening

I hate seeing anyone in pain but sometimes trying to help someone who doesnt believe they have a problem or just doesnt want to admit tht problem is the most painful thing

Cant say im suprised bottling your emotions will fuck you what did he expect doing tht shit comes rushing at you when you finnaly feel something and you really wont be able to handle it sad part is i was gonna say something but i knew it wouldnt end well

Always been a weird thought for anyone to love me im just here to give you support but ive also learned tht why ppl fall in love with therapist cause they think theyre cause they love them and not cause they have to, tbh thts probably why ppl fall for her since she more supportive then anyone ive met and she def got me to say amd do things i would have never done before and tbh im not sure what to think about it like half of me is glad but another side is disappointed like im changing but not always for the better. Like the thought of meeting her irl is great and honestly i dont want to go there cause the promise of sex ive craved it less and less cause its the main reason i hated some of the ppl ive met cause thts all they want and tbh its overrated sex aint tht important in a relationship its just about lovin the other person for being themselves and trying to help when you can

I want to be with her for a long time but idk if im any good at tht type of shit since hell the thoughts tht go through my mind are terrifying or sad