PSA

If you happen to stumble upon an ad that looks like this, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN.

The rest of the ad is a very tall GIF of strobing red light that can potentially cause seizures. You cannot scroll past this ad quickly enough to avoid seeing it.

There seems to be no way to report the ad, so the next best thing is to use an adblocker (if you haven’t already) or even stay off the mobile app.

Please reblog to help spread awareness.

friends romans and countrymen alike i have one hell of a story for you.

this morning i was scrolling through the silly little reels on my instagram for you page, as one does, and about a good 45 minutes into this i got recommended a candle company that puts (supposedly) real diamonds in their candles.

and in my still somewhat half asleep glory i thought "this sounds absolutely ridiculous, what do i have to lose" and clicked on the website.

upon clicking on said website i was given a 10% off code that i had to use within 15 minutes so basically my mind was already made up and i decided to text brad.

so with what was probably brads approval i scrolled through the silly little website as fast as i could and decided to stick to the more classic scents since i didnt want to be stuck with something that smelled bad (although "wap" and "i hate my boss" did intrigue me briefly) and i went with "tobacco bourbon" because thats always a decent combo.

and then in a last minute decision i decided to also get "chai tea" because it sounded interesting and who knows maybe the diamonds are real.

the court should note that i did absolutely zero research on this company.

and with my 10% off on top of whatever massive sale they were having the total plus shipping came to $63.86.

brad was also very excited about this purchase and said that if the diamonds were real he may put them in my engagement ring.

so now all thats left is to wait 2-5 business days for my candles to get delivered. i have absolutely zero expectations. stay tuned.

an update

it has been a grand total of 7 days since i ordered said candles. my credit card charge has changed from pending to processed, so i assume that it has been shipped. i do not think they have arrived, however i do have 2 packages at the post office i have to go pick up

we have confirmation that the candles have been delivered and i will try to go and pick them up today

candles have been retrieved

they were shipped in this very nondescript box with branded tape

it is 97 degrees today so i hope they are not melted

alright so. the candles have not exploded. more detailed update later after homework.

update

*for legal reasons, these candles were never in my dorm room or were burned in my dorm room*

@undercover-vampire and i unboxed the candles

the tobacco bourbon candle smelled very good actually but the chai one smelled like a craft store from september-december, which is to say, very strongly of artificial cinnamon

the candles are pretty large, about 3 inches across and 4 inches high and are in good quality glass jars

the chai one had melted a little in transit because there was melted (and still melted) wax all over the outside of the jar. but it’s been ridiculously hot so i wouldn’t put that on the company.

the tobacco candle (on bottom) had a very off center wick (tho both were off centered). this happens sometimes with hand poured candles, but it was still odd

each candle comes with this scratch off code thing that links to a certificate of the diamond inside, which is cool

i decided to put the chai candle in the freezer and freeze the wax out of it because i hated the smell and burn the tobacco one.

more updates to come

update

i burned the tobacco bourbon candle for around 10 hours and it has a very clean burn, no exploding, but it did pop a little bit ( that was my fault tho cause i didn’t trim the wick ) and if the wick wasn’t off center it would be a 10/10 candle. no sign of the diamond yet

the chai tea candle was in the freezer for about 24 hours and i was able to tap the bottom of it twice and the candle popped out of the glass and revealed the wrapped diamond

i attacked the wax with a pair of scissors for a few minutes to get the vial out

and then i washed off the vial cause it was covered in wax

the diamond is in that little plastic bag. and yes, it is a little diamond.

i scratched off the code on the side of the candle to get the certificate

so if the diamond is real it’s a .03 carat vs1 diamond worth about 26 dollars, i paid 29.99 for the candle

update

i have been burning the tobacco bourbon candle for three days at minimum 5 hours per day. the candle claims to be 100% soy wax, but brad is very sensitive to paraffin and other artificial waxes and started coughing pretty badly every time he was in my room for an extended period of time. we deduced that it was caused by the candle not being 100% soy wax.

he is upset that i “tried to poison him” (which is understandable and i put on my diffuser and humidifier with air cleaning solution and opened the window and gave him cough syrup so he’s definitely fine, but still holding my questionable candle purchasing over me head and rightfully so). so if you’re sensitive to artificial wax i don’t recommend this

we have decided that i will keep burning the candle for the experiment, but for shorter periods while he is not here with the window open and the air cleaning thing on

update

it has been 2 days and brad is still coughing from the candle (and no its not the plague he took three covid tests and they were all negative)

also the package does not say 100% soy wax it says premium soy wax (which is definitely a lie. brad has several soy wax candles and does not have a reaction to them. this one is definitely made of paraffin or something else synthetic because apparently he gets severe reactions to that kind of wax) (also i would not have bought the candle if it said it was made from synthetic wax)

after listening to brad cough for what is now probably 4-5 days and having scoured a sketchy gas station for cough drops, i have decided it would be a bad idea to continue burning the candle. but i would not abandon my diamond experiment so quickly. so i texted the one person i know that has little regard for their general health and safety: @undercover-vampire

and so it was decided. katya will take the candle and when diamond appears i will get them something slutty in return. you see kids, this is why you accidently get your tumblr mutuals to come to your college.

updates to come.

and an important update from the one and only brad himself @dear-brads-blog

update

we went to brads house this weekend and his mom was upset by the fact that he is coughing, tho she didnt necessarily think it was from a candle. she did give him about 65 remedies tho, including tea, gargling with salt water and nyquill. he is still coughing and in his stubborn glory refuses to do anything more about it.

@undercover-vampire is coming to get the candle tonight to finish burning it

i have still been airing out my room because being in my room makes brad cough more

i emailed the company's customer service

i could have made it a lot more detailed, but didnt want to come off as a karen or anything. we will see what they say.

update

brad went to the health center on campus and they tested him for covid, strep, bronchitis and mono and it was none of those things. they think its a viral infection from the candle and he could be fucked for up to 2 more weeks. if it gets worse then hes really fucked. we do not want him to be really fucked.

at the end of my night class i convinced my friend to take me to target, except my professor held me 25 minutes late because he has terrible time management and we had to target speedrun before they closed. I was so stressed that i left my phone in my friends car when we went in but i got brad all kinds of stuff to make the cough not as coughy (because he is too stubborn to do it himself). and, fellow romans, my friend was mildly (or perhaps severely) concerned about me cause i was mid break down looking frantically for lemon juice, and saying that this was the only time ive ever gone to target and not looked at the price of anything. then i got carded for buying vicks spray and almost accidentally stole some lemons.

@undercover-vampire came to my room to get rid of the accursed candle and said that if they start to die from it then we will be forced to freeze the wax out. this seems like a very good compromise.

i gave brad his stuff and he only insisted we return 4 of the things (which is decent) and he nearly cried over the soup i got him. this candle has put me through the 5 stages of grief.

then i vaccumed the entire box of baking soda that i had sprinkled off my carpet and swiffered and febreezed the fuck out my room. its really good that it worked cause my carpet looked like i had dumped crack all over it and i dont want to have to do that again.

and it paid off cause brad came in and sniffed my room and didnt immediately die of coughs

more updates to come

update

brad is still very much dying. if he was in victorian times he would have two feet in the grave.

@undercover-vampire has lit the demon candle

this was then followed by:

in addition, brad emailed all of his professors and res life the following email:

updates to come

and another update from brad himself @dear-brads-blog

the way to a himbos heart is with soup aparently

friends and romans we have exciting news

does it sound like a robot wrote it? kind of. is the stay safe part a little ridiculous given the circumstances? absolutely. but at least we got a response

here is my refund:

so they refunded me less than the cost of one of the candles, which is a little annoying, but at least it is something. im actually impressed they gave me anything because their site outlines a pretty strict return policy of 5 days within receiving your candle and no refunds once the sticker with the diamond code is scratched off. part of me wonders if there is someone from the company following along with this saga and that's why i got a refund...im onto yall...

and if they are reading this post, shout out to marry for deciding that my boyfriends lungs are worth $23.91

a much anticipated candle saga update cause no i definitely didnt forget about this

the candle has, unfortunately, but also to absolutely no ones surprise, fucked up @undercover-vampire. but instead of making them cough violently, they started sneezing and "passing out more than usual." so we are currently trying to figure out if we know any other poor unfortunate souls who do not care about their general health and safety or wellbeing who want to be part of the experiment. i also still have to go retrieve the candle from them.

and brad is still coughing, its better, but still not good. he went back to the health center and the nurses think it gave him acid reflux and gave him basically tums in a little orange pill bottle that doesnt close very well.

brad also does not want to put the diamonds in my engagement ring anymore so idk what were gonna do with them. i was considering posting them on ebay and auctioning them off to you all.

he also is requiring our wedding vows to contain "i vow to never poison you with a silly candle i bought off of instagram again" and if i do we are getting divorced. i suppose this is fair.

friends romans and fellow countrymen

i have exciting news

we have found a volunteer to be demon candle's guardian!!! how fun!!!!

its @femme--de--lettres and they have so graciously decided to get poisoned by the candle on behalf of my silly saga

the candle will be mailed Soon once they sign a waiver

update, the waiver has been sent to @femme--de--lettres (brad helped with some embellishments)

the candle has also been shipped and i know this is counterintuitive since the waiver has yet to be signed, but i had to mail it on friday and i know it wont actually get shipped until monday cause of when mail pickup is. they also claimed they sent me the tracking info but they did not. gotta love a campus post office.

not really sure why they mailed it priority mail one day. that seems rather silly and i definitely didnt ask for that.

stay tuned

THE WAIVER HAS BEEN SIGNED

now we wait

and now back to everyones favorite candle saga:

since our last update several of you have had some questions, which i will now answer

1. why not just freeze the wax out of the candle saph? why are you going through the process of poisoning someone else? havent you taken enough lives?

because friends and romans, we have come too far to quit now. i want to know what is in this candle. freezing the wax out would be so anticlimactic. also andie was a willing and eager participant who signed a waiver

2. could it be the tobacco scent? tobacco is a bad scent

i do not think so. brad has a few other candles that have tobacco listed as a fragrance note from notably better brands (diptyque and i think maison margella and threshold?) and he is an avid wearer of the tom ford cologne tobacco vanille. none of these things have ever induced coughing fits whatsoever. i do agree though that it could be a fragrance issue, but the actual tobacco is not the problem

3. is brad okay? i hope brad is okay. and your other friend.

brad and katya have both recovered from their candle related illnesses! brad only had one small relapse when i had to bring the candle back to my room to send it to andie

also really unrelated but idk why you all keep assuming brad and i are engaged, we are not

anyway, with these questions answered we can now move forward

andie, @femme--de--lettres, my friends, romans and countrymen, has been sleuthing (which was not part of the job description as candle guardian) and they have some exciting updates:

and, believe it or not, they did get another response from our good friend marry!!!

this is, needless to say, Interesting Information. i thoughouly scoured their website last week and the only information i found about their candle wax was that it was a """soy blend""" and so good you can "use it as lotion" which seems like a lie.

i am particularly intrigued by the sentence "the combination of raw materials is constantly changing" that sounds sketchy. and the fact that they "try to always offer the safest and best materials whenever possible." which sounds like. sometimes they do not do that and they know that.

interesting.

anywhoosies, the candle made it to andie and they are going to be unboxing it later tonight so! stay tuned!!

alright we have several updates on this mess

andie has been burning the candle for about 15 hours inside and 10 (?) outside and has not yet died of mystery candle disease. she did some poking around in the wax with a skewer and was able to deduce that there is indeed a diamond capsule in the candle

this is where we stand now with the candle burning

next up is that andie emailed customer service two more times trying to get more information about the wax and marry (who appears to be their one customer service rep) basically just gave them the same information as the first time. it looks like we will not be getting any further with that

as per the request of you hooligans we decided to test the wax with a makeup test it that we got off of amazon. we decided to use the makeup test because it says that it works on body lotion and marry kept telling us we could use the wax as lotion. here were the results:

andie tested the wax first when it was hard and then melted and the melted results seemed more conclusive and that revealed that none of the tests came back with super high results of anything. so the wax probably doesnt have a bunch of harmful chemicals but we are not really sure since we have yet to find a quirky chemistry professor to run test results on the candle. this means that its likely the reactions may come down to fragrance or just a reaction to the wax itself and not the chemicals.

but alas friends, the best has still yet to come.

andie and i did a deep dive on the company.

like a deep deep dive.

the results of which shall be revealed Soon

stay tuned

alright friends romans and fellow countrymen i know you all have been waiting with baited breath for the much anticipated update, considering i have at least 50 asks relating to this. but allow me to first explain why i have Not updated:

-it was mine and brads anniversary (1 year)

-i had every assignment ever due and then five more

-i got tonsils fucky illness (tonsillitis) which is not mystery candle disease

so alas. here we are. also i’m currently in delaware. crazy how these things happen, huh?

anyway did y’all know that ned fulmer is a florida man? kinda on brand, ngl

what’s that? oh. yes. i can get to the point.

the results of mine and (mostly) andie’s deep dive:

foreverwick candle co was started in good old 2017 by two students who may have possibly been attending michigan state (according to instagram and linkedin searches). these two people had the original trademark until 2021 when the trademark then went through involuntary dissolution

and you’re probably wondering what the fuck that means. i was too. luckily andie knew what it was:

so it sounds like the two founders either broke up or didn’t agree on something pretty massive. kinda funny considering the company origin story is about a couples first date.

a completely different person now has the candle company trademark. we did find his address, or an address of some sort that was possibly related to him, but it was to a trailer park in texas. sus.

one of the founders had some more trademarks registered to him that never went through, all to skincare related things. he may currently have an operational skin aloe cream something or other company. the highlight of the deep dive was andie finding the contact information for that one:

and there was also this:

we also think that the reason for all the skincare trademarks (cause there were quite a few) was because the founders originally wanted foreverwick to have a skincare component (potentially why they keep telling us you can use the candles as lotion?)

so we have no real answers. and i know this is vague but guys i am not about to get sued over a tumblr post.

we did discover tho that their candles were once featured on fox news, which is really really funny to me.

as this saga goes on, i keep ending up with more questions than answers. who’s to say what we will uncover next.

greetings once again my friends romans and fellow countrymen. i come bearing an update. a very exciting update:

@femme--de--lettres finally unearthed the diamond capsule!!!

the diamond, as was the case with the first one, is absolutely minuscule:

currently we are trying to figure out how to test to see if the diamonds are real. i will likely take mine to the silly diamond store in the mall that i work at and see if they can test it for me, andie was thinking of a more unconventional method for theirs

just some casual diamond arson y'know. gotta keep the saga interesting as we near what very well may be the close. we will see what happens. several of you suggested trying to scratch glass with the diamond, but they are too small for that to effectively work without them flying across the room when you inevitably lose your grip.

i suppose the end of the saga is approaching. i have many more questions than answers but-

oh?

what is this??

new information that will draw this out even more????

i see.

yes, yes. i understand

oh, this will be good.

stay tuned.

and everyone's favorite long post continues

first and very foremostly i dont know why i have three separate asks in my inbox about what the delaware post is. astounding that you know what the candle saga is and not the delaware post. but i digress.

secondly thank you to @nuri148 for consulting a mineralogist on twitter and telling us that our diamond testing methods were, at their core, silly:

also now my candle saga is on twitter. not sure how i feel about that but alas these candles do have their consequences and one of them is that this post now has 16k notes.

someone else commented that we should tell consumer product safety about the candles. not sure if that will happen yet, we want to find out whats actually in them first.

which leads me to my next point: if you or someone you know is a slightly unhinged and chaotic chemist who wants to test some candle wax, send me an ask.

and finally. andie. sweet darling wonderful @femme--de--lettres (who is still a spooky halloween girl looking for a valentines day girlfriend, i might add) decided that it would be wise to purchase 2 more accursed candles.

now i had nothing to do with this! i do not condone this behavior whatsoever! but i was curious.

andie picked out two scents:

apple cinnamon and

i will never escape this.

i would like the court to note that andie's candles were packaged FAR BETTER than mine were:

lets recall what mine looked like:

i like their addition of the "we really appreciate it!" like. i think theyre onto the saga guys. their pr team is reading this and staying updated. marry i know youre invested in my saga. please do not sue me.

anyway

there is a vast difference in pouring here.

andie chose not to scratch off the little diamond code things yet so well see how big her diamonds are.

here is the scent description for the delaware candle:

idk why they would want to go back there or why rushing river water smells like strawberries and vanilla, but at the same time i expected nothing less.

aparently tho. the icing on the cake. the delaware candle. smells like licorice.

andie, who hates licorice, then made this meme to describe her feelings on the candle:

not sure how strong flowing river water translates to licorice but alas, nothing about this company has made sense so far. and also, it aparently does not smell like licorice when it is lit.

lets all hope that andie doesnt die of candle overload.

this is the candle saga for everyone who’s asked me about it

one day it will continue

this is the candle

saga for everyone who’s

asked me about it

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

I was thinking about this story for no reason and decided I should grace you all with it again.

SPREAD THE WORD!

finally I got them all

Part 2 of Nimona as no-context quotes from my friend group :)

Part 1

he’s trying to get some work done

a scooby-doo origin story where Daphne, Fred, Velma, and Shaggy are all serving detention together and none of them (save for maybe Fred and Daphne) have ever really talked before, but they talk in detention. they have fun, they're bonding, it's a real Breakfast Club situation, and as detention ends they're walking home and they see a dog digging through the garbage of a local restaurant

he's big, but he seems sweet and he's obviously hungry, so the gang approaches him to see if he has a collar. Shaggy manages to get to him first, and the dog immediately takes to him, giving him a big dog kiss and cuddling up to him, but the dog seems to like all of them

upon finding he doesn't have a collar, Shaggy, scratching behind his ears, rhetorically asks, "What's your name, buddy?"

and the dog answers, "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!"

after a minute of freaking the FUCK out and asking each other "y'all heard that, right?" the kids decide to take the dog (who they immediately start calling Scooby-Doo, Scoob, or Scooby for short) home, and find that not only can the dog talk, he displays human-level intelligence and is easily frightened. when they ask where he came from, he doesn't seem to know, but when they walk past an old, abandoned shopping complex on the edge of town, he completely freaks out...and there are weird noises coming from that complex at night....and some suspicious sightings....

the first mystery they investigate together is the mystery of what in God's name is going on here

@imdefnotvanessa thank you for giving me indirect permission to talk more <3

Other ideas for this concept:

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

This is so funny because that’s a freshly-fledged juvenile red tailed hawk.

It didn’t leave simply because it didn’t really know the giant gorilla thing walking towards it was a threat. You were menaced by what amounts to a teenager who just passed their driving test just chilling under a tree.

This thing weighs all of 1 pound and barely knows it’s a bird.

the bird got a nat20 on intimidation from a die it knocked off the desk

Deep-sea diamond 💎✨

Meet the sawtooth eel, Serrivomer sp. These brilliant eels can be found up to 6,000 meters (19,685 feet) deep and measure up to 78 centimeters (2.5 feet) in length. They migrate toward the surface of the ocean each night to feed on small fishes, shrimps, and other crustaceans.

They are part of the largest mass migration on Earth. Each evening, throughout the ocean, multitudes of animals leave the deep, dark waters they inhabit during the day and swim up to the food-rich, nighttime waters near the surface. Each morning, they descend back down to the depths. These animals migrate in order to remain constantly in darkness, to avoid being eaten by visually cued predators. Learn more about MBARI's vertical migration studies on our website.

Honestly one of the most overlooked and under appreciated phenomena in marine biology. There's things doing this every night that are absolutely nothing like any daytime sea creature. Nautiluses do this and are the last of the ancient shelled mollusks. Tiny glow in the dark cookie cutter sharks come up to the surface every night to take bites out of everything that moves with their ice cream scoop teeth. To ocean fish, the sun goes down and all the goblins and demons come up out of the shadow dimension to wreak havoc but when you're a little fish in the open sea you don't have a house to hide in. You just have to deal with it.

I was going to just leave this in the tags but no, I've seen too many people misunderstand this and it's very simple and easy to explain so I don't know why anyone who shares this fun fact doesn't use this analogy.

so if you took a few leaves and threw them into a blender and pulverize them to as fine a paste that you could they would still be green. this is because chlorophyll has a green PIGMENT in it. now I can't speak to the base color of blue jay feathers so we're just going to talk about blue macaws for this example. If you went and put a Blue macaw feather in a blender and pulverized it to the finest powder that you could you would get black powder. this is because blue macaw feathers have black pigment in them, but they reflect blue light because of a microscopic bubble texture on the surface.

to explain it further, have you ever seen one of those little rainbow hologram things? like how they'll put a holographic Crystal or sparkle pattern on like a Pokemon card?

yeah that motherfucker, if you tried to scrape the top layer of this card off to get the hologram "pigment", you wouldn't get bubkis. in fact if you scrape the top of this card very lightly, the yellow part would still stay yellow because it's yellow because it is PIGMENTED, but the hologram where you scratch it will stop being holographic. now it will still have the pigment underneath it because that is pigmented but the rainbow effect comes from a TEXTURE on the top.

you could even put these kind of holograms on chocolate, are you following? it's a texture!

it's the same reason that bubbles are rainbow colored despite being too thin to see pigment in them.

IT'S A TEXTUREEEEEEE!!!

blue pigment will always be blue, you can crush up a Rose and use the Rose goop to color something else the color of that Rose! leaves, bones, clay, rocks!! that's pigment! disturbing its structure will not change the color because its a PIGMENT!!!

but a blue macaw? a pigeon's neck? a raven's feathers? and a blue jay apparently? that's a texture.

"yeah that's how color works" NO!! bubbles are clear!!! they just happen to have a broad spectrum iridescent TEXTURE, and some bird feathers have a short spectrum of iridescence.

bird texture

Reminder, this is a trans inclusive blog and if you disagree with that, please fucking leave and drown in a fucking ditch

girl you look like a Mariusz Lewandowski painting (complimentary)

god_i_wish_that_were_me.jpg

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

[twitter]

IVE FOUND IT AT LAST

ph my fuckning gog

“That isn’t even my ‘ip’ address!”

“It’s ‘I-P,’ sir.”

“Yes minion, I know how to spell ip.”

Capitalists when you can't take money away from people who don't have any:

Wtf is that? A storm elemental?

Ball lightning fuck me all the way up

Excuse me what the fuck is this

you literally captured whats called “ball lightning” which is the rarest form of lighting

its so rare that we dont even know how it forms other than by heat, static electricity, and humidity

storm elemental it is

look guys this is how nature-based deities and spirits come about this is ridiculous

Are you aware that the first-ever video footage of ball lightning outside a laboratory was taken in 2014 and there are only like 3 or 4 videos like this in existence and this might be the most close-up one

you want to help stop tumblr from murdering itself? here's how!

i encourage you to reblog this so we can get as many people leaving feedback as humanly possible. we need to let staff know this is an utterly terrible idea

by the way, tumblr has turned off asks on all of their staff blogs, so this is the only way to tell tumblr how you feel

here it is again because uh. seems relevant.

Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

The picture in the background of the second one

Tama is boss

THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM

Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]

For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.

Beautiful.

Now I’m crying thanks

and a new cat was hired right?

yep! her name is Nitama (essentially ”second tama” or “tama II”) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy

she works very hard

Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.

Law

I’m crying at 11pm over train cats

Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016).  There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention.

^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama

Yontama.

a legacy

okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it’s a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back

Every time I see this post there’s new info and it gets better

You are only allowed to scroll pass this after you pay tribute to the great Tama Station masters.

The shrine of Tama Daimyōjin (Great gracious deity Tama), next to the Kishi station where she worked.

Nitama presenting her yearly offerings to Tama Daimyōjin on the anniversary of Tama’s Death, June 23 (The offerings are presented by the company president, as Nitama is a cat and thus can’t hold the offerings herself) (Not pictured, but also present, Yontama)

you cannot pass without reblogging guys. i’m sorry, i don’t make the rules.

You can’t not reblog a goddess. It’s just what’s so. :)

So, fun fact- the manga Noragami has an arc where the main character, Yato (a minor kami/God that is down on his luck but trying to make it big time) goes to a council/conference for all the Gods in Japan.

And they are announcing the winner of the “up and coming god” award, and of course, Yato thinks it’s him.

But no-

ITS TAMA!

Always reblogging this.

BEST THING ON TUMBLR EVER.

Shintoism is such a neat belief structure to me - I was raised Catholic and there’s this constant sense that it’s functionally a solved system; the dogma is established and except for a new saint now and then it’s done growing.

The idea that you can elevate a new god is really nice, there’s something vital and living within that concept; that belief can and will grow with the world around it.

Genuinely bless any religion in which “we promoted this very nice cat to the status of god” is a thing that not only can theoretically happen, but isn’t even controversial or weird when it does