Blocked

Parried

A squirrel shells a walnut at the speed of sound and then realizes there’s so much more he could be doing with his life.

…and then he decides he’s better off doing what he’s always done.

Really Tumblr? Is it all the nuts?

Confession time; while I may have started making my girlfriend lunches purely because I love her there’s now a little bit of gay spite involved as well. I want the straight girls she works with to see what they’re missing and hold their men to higher standards.

Operation Gay Spite has claimed its first straight relationship! I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of anything in my life!

Wow good thing ion give a shit about marvel people are really selling avengers tickets on ebay for like thousands of dollars? Imagine dropping a stack to see mediocrity on the screen couldn’t be me I didn’t graduate from Clown University.

What kind of mind control rays has the MCU been sending out to you people lmk so I can protect myself 

The ticket situation is stupid as hell, but you’re not superior just because you don’t watch marvel movies

Like yeah op it’s just a movie, nobody’s saying it’s gonna be fine art.

Humans go to movies for. Fun.

Novel concept I know.

Clown University graduates roll call!

theyre all present!

Clown U graduate here.

this isnt something youre supposed to be proud of

dont consume anime

i go to anime stores and eat the discs so people cant watch them

No.. Fucking No. Would you seriously risk internal bleeding from the disc fragments, just so people can’t enjoy their hobby? Your the type of fucking poison in this world that makes things the way they are, and besides that why anime? Have you ever seen a single series? It can change the way you think. It can inspire. It can MAKE YOU FUCKING BELIEVE in something. Also not only are you wasting the time of consumers but also potentially doctors if you have to go to the hospital cos you ate a fucking CD like a baka.

sighs and they wonder why I hate people sometimes.

i never want tumblr to end. this website is like the internet equivalent of a huge mall where you can run around and do whatever you want and there are no laws

no laws? the fuck? i wanna be on the website you’re on. my experience of tumblr is that if you break even a minor law you get executed publicly 

However you are allowed to steal stuff, and if you don’t support shoplifting, you’re transphobic. 

feanorus rex i am not transphobic and i dont steal anything. i dont appreciate libel on here

I was joking. The tumblr ‘shoplifting fandom,’ (Yes, that is a real thing) says that people who don’t support stealing are transphobic bc trans people need to steal makeup to live. 

Simply Don’t appreciate any of whatever you just said to me. Don’t “joke” or whatever you call it here again. Now… godbye

you’ve never heard of the tumblr shoplifting fandom? or their ridiculous justifications? 

^ exactly what i expected. dont feed the Tumblr Trolls people.

The tumblr shoplifting fandom isn’t smth I agree with, but it does exist. (Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3)  (Source 4)

Here’s a post making the “anti shoplifting= transphobia claim

Your original post mentioned a mall, so I thought of the lifting fandom, and decide to reblog with a satirical comment.

i got juice in my mouse and i cant click the links

Jezebel.com:

rebrn.com:

The Daily Dot

Knowyourmeme:

The ‘anti lifting= transphobic post:

pictures wont load i think my internet is slow. can you reblog again and type out the text from the articles/posts yourself

yeah, the first one says, “It’s too bad that you accused someone of fabricating the tumblr shoplifting fandom, she went and found sources and you panicked and invented progressively more ridiculous excuses.” 

^ so again you prove my point…

it seems pretty convenient that you can’t access any of my sources. just search ‘#shoplifting fandom,’ on here, or is your ability to search some how broken too? 

i dont know why you would say it is convenient. im the one with the mouse with juice in it. it is very inconvenient for me

how are you clicking on anything if your mouse is broken? 

spare mouse

then click on the links i provided? or search, ‘#shoplifting fandom’ on tumblr?? 

hm… not a bad idea… can you post the links again though? my spare mouse does have working clickers but its scroll wheel is totally fried (milk accident) and i can’t scroll up to the links

The tumblr shoplifting fandom isn’t smth I agree with, but it does exist. (Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3)  (Source 4)

Here’s a post making the “anti shoplifting= transphobia claim

Your original post mentioned a mall, so I thought of the lifting fandom, and decide to reblog with a satirical comment.

i just spilled some olive oil (extra virgin of course, i wouldn’t settle for anything else) on my spare mouse and the clickers just stopped working. could you post some screenshots of those articles or something

What the fuck “I spilled olive oil”

yeah, i use the good stuff. mock me for it all you like.

wait before i go does anyone have the photoset of the frog that looks like this

this one?

Imperial passport of Kublai Khan “I am the emissary of the Khan. If you defy me, you die.” 1240 A.D. [886x960]

hmmm

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄

Imagine being so privileged and narcissistic that you genuinely think things like waking up early and eating sub-par food are incredible hardships unique to your lifestyle.

what the fuck is the joke here

some

There they are, the two genders.

only a cis deals in absolutes

all of life and history aligned for that one joke we’re done everyone go home

Uh oh sisters! *containment breach alarm*

I like hearing “I want you to come” instead of “you can come if you want”

my nasty ass was confused bc i thought this was about busting a nut

SJKSKSKS imagine u fuckin and they’re like “*annoyed sigh* you can come if you want”

“cats can’t do any tricks” well wrong.

cats can:

• 10ft vertical leap

* Find your bladder with all four feet at once