Amor divino

Wait wait wait. Who is Tag and Bink???

thanks for enabling me :) prepare yourself

so these two are Tag Greenley and Bink Otauna, aka the most IMPORTANT characters in the Star Wars franchise. They’re best friends who consider each other family and they’re based on the author’s own brothers (they’re also canonically both Mexican/latino written by a latino writer and drawn by a latino artist but that’s slightly less important at the moment)

These two are the cause of nearly every problem in the entire Star Wars franchise while also being the solution to every plot hole they’ve ever had. They are the leading characters in a short run 2006 comic series called Tag & Bink Were Here. The story basically goes through the OT as we follow these two as Rebel soldiers running around undercover as stormtroopers and cause chaos through sheer dumbass duo shenanigans. Along the way they pretty much start accidental beef with everyone they come across. These two have been in Vader’s presence 4 times and lived, they’ve been pursued by both Boba and Jango Fett and survived. I won’t go into all of them but when I say they solve every plot hole in Star Wars, I mean they solve ALL of them. 

What stormtroopers would be oblivious enough to let Obi-Wan sneak past them on the Death Star? Tag and Bink!

Who shot C-3PO on Cloud City? these two, obviously.

Who stole the Imperial ship for the Rebellion? 

Why was Boba Fett, the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy, taken out so easily by a blind guy waving a stick? (won’t spoil this one but it’s pretty funny)

Eventually their story leads to them ranking up as the Emperor’s Red Guards 

only to reveal at the very end that they were YOUNGLINGS, once upon a time.

They’ve known each other their whole lives and have pretty much been each other’s closest and only friends. Apparently they struggled at the Jedi Temple. like.. BADLY. It’s also implied that they were bullied by the other youngings/padawans and also that none of their teachers/masters really paid attention to them. They are also the explanation of the Rishi Maze File’s disappearance, which they accidentally deleted while trying to study at the Temple library. They were scared enough to try to run away from the Temple temporarily, which led to them getting chased down by Jango Fett. They finally lose Jango but run straight into a young Anakin Skywalker.

Which leads to the greatest retcon of all time:

ANAKIN’S ROMANTIC DIALOGUE IS SO DUMB AND TERRIBLE BECAUSE TWO 10 YEAR-OLDS WROTE IT FOR HIM. 

the explanation on why they help him break the Jedi Code kills me every time. Also they wrote every cringe romance line EXCEPT for the worst one:

And how did Anakin repay these two children for helping him win the love of his life, you ask? By running off to Tattooine after having mommy nightmares and leaving them stranded on Naboo after he forgot about them when the Clone Wars started and replacing them with another sassy child. Understandably pissed, these two crawl their way back to the Jedi Temple to give him a piece of their mind, which takes them 3 whole years because intergalactic war had broken out. And the day they make it back to the steps of the Jedi Temple? Same day Palpatine executed Order 66. Of course, they run right into Anakin in full murder-mode, but become the ONLY people Anakin spared after turning to the Dark Side. Their reward for helping Anakin get laid was to not get killed. Tag and Bink are the founders and leaders of the Screwed-Over-By-Anakin-Club, worsened by the fact that Bink is Alderaanian and lost his family/planet to Vader.

So they may have unintentionally caused the Fall of the Jedi and Republic by going to the library to study, but they also caused the Fall of the Empire in the same stroke, as they are the very reasons that Luke and Leia even exist. 

We haven’t even gotten to the part where Tag and Bink exist as Force-sensitives as an unnoticed byproduct of Darth Plagueis (The Wise) messing with Force manipulation while creating Anakin. Which is.. incredibly hysterical that the biggest scariest Sith Lord brought down the entire Sith Empire by sheer accident while messing with his evil magic science experiments. But this also means according to the rules set in place by canon, (especially in the Sequel Trilogy) that through this Force connection via Darth Plagueis, Tag and Bink are actually RELATED to Anakin Skywalker.

The best part? TAG AND BINK ARE CANON. They were in a scene in the Han Solo movie, which was unfortunately removed from the final cut. BUT they made it to the novelization and visual dictionary. There was plans for another 3-part comic to be made about them causing havoc in the Sequel Trilogy, which never saw the light of publication, but the author Kevin Rubio says that Tag and Bink solve THIS plothole of how the Skywalker saber was rescued from Cloud City:

and the author also encourages fans that these two stormtroopers who noped out on Anakin’s grandson’s temper tantrum are also Tag and Bink:

but anyways, in conclusion if you wanna see two himbos with major Side Character Syndrome while being massively underappreciated (Din wants what they have) running around causing problems just click the link to the full free comic series online: X

Fandoms don't hate poc. They hate heterosexual characters.

White women sent hate tweets to John Boyega because he didn't like their I Can Fix My Pet White Boy ship and then cried misogyny when he rightfully called them out on it. The erasure of Finn's character is largely ignored, or it's weaponized in their arguments that RoS was bad when what they actually care about is that Reylo got sunk and Kyle died.

White Voltron fans treated Allura like garbage, and talked over and ignored black girls and women who were uncomfortable with their Space Mommy headcanon. Klance shippers constantly erased her, and Sheith shippers either ignored her or performatively shipped her with Lance—a character they hated and loved to tear down, incidentally—to get her out of the way of their precious Wife Husbandry ship. Even now, her appalling death and Montgomery and Dos Santos's equally appalling indifference to it are ignored in favor of whining about fanon ships. (Klance shippers also frequently exotified both Keith and Lance with Korean and Latino stereotypes to make them sexier, incidentally, and created an entire AU around this after Season 7.)

White Starfire fans and Dickbabs fans alike sent racist harassment to Mame-Anna Diop when she was cast in the role on Titans, and fans are more interested in Raven and the pasty Batman characters than in either Kory or Gar (both of whom are played by nonwhite actors). The show repeatedly mistreats and sidelines both of those characters—two actual Titans, the team the show is supposed to be about—and fandom largely ignores this.

A vocal subsection of the Fire Emblem fandom erases the personalities and goals of the PoC from Three Houses, insisting that they are a hive mind who hate all white people and can only be shipped with each other, and ignore the fact that Claude‚ the only non-white main character, is biracial in favor of arguing that he actually hates all white people when his canon goal is to bring people together. This subsection of fandom regularly harasses fans of color who don't fall in line with this.

Brian W. Foster, a white man formerly associated with Critical Role, QRT’d a woman of color who criticized the show’s Campaign Three intro to childishly mock and dismiss her concerns. This led to his 183k+ followers dogpiling and harassing someone who was offering genuine, rational critique, with a wide variety of slurs thrown at her. His apology was half-baked and generic and made no reference to the specific person whom he used his platform to attack.

And Yennefer of Vengerberg is repeatedly erased and ignored in a show where she is unquestionably the female lead. Her actress, Anya Chalotra, received racist harassment bad enough for her to leave social media, and the character is torn down by fandom so that fans can fawn over—you guessed it!—their white faves.

Characters of color are disdained, warped, erased, infantilized, hypersexualized, and conveniently "have no chemistry" with the white characters. The fans of color are talked over, ignored, harassed, dismissed, or otherwise have their opinions used as a cudgel when they fit a white fangroup's narrative.

Fandoms. Hate. People. Of color.