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Complicated Set-ups for Mediocre Puns

@noandpickles

Lily | agender | she/they | A non-exhaustive list of people who can go fuck themselves: Nazis, terfs, homophobes, biphobes, transphobes, acephobes, anti-choicers, anti-vaxxers, propserity gospel preachers, Republicans, anti-semites, white supremacists, people who don't use the Oxford comma, Immanuel Kant, deontologists in general, and linguistic prescriptivists.
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This is terrible but today when I was playing volleyball outside with some friends one of their children (18 months) was sort of ambling around on his stumpy little toddler legs and so we were all trying to be careful and like not spike the ball onto the baby but then he wandered over to his father, who picked him up bc dad reflexes, and then the ball got passed over to the dad and he sort of had a no thoughts moment and instinctively used his child to smack the volleyball over to the next person. Like he just swung the kid and used his legs like a baseball bat. I'm never going to forget his face of premature regret mid baby-manuever right when he realized what he was doing AND the instant he realized his wife saw it happen. Anyway the baby was fine he didn't make contact with the ball all that hard and he was just mad his dad wouldn't use him as a club again but I had to sit down because I laughed so hard I cried.

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microwave mimic that just eats the food instead of cooking it

tags written by microwave mimic. "oh just reach in the moment the food is 1 second from ready. yeah your whole arm."

Rewatching early Danny Phantom, and so far what we've learned is that everyone who hunts ghosts (including ghosts who hunt ghosts) uses nets that ghosts can phase through.

Skulker got a phase-proof net! Unfortunately Danny can just break it. Still, progress!

The. The fuckin doors. On the ghost portal. Are not phase-proof??

Shout-out to Jazz for pulling off a truly impressive speedrun of figuring out Danny's secret identity. She goes from "ghosts obviously aren't real" to "oh my god my brother's a ghost" in like 24 hours.

lord, grant me the courage to not read the comments, the wisdom to not read the comments, and the molotov cocktail just in case i read the comments anyway

Rewatching early Danny Phantom, and so far what we've learned is that everyone who hunts ghosts (including ghosts who hunt ghosts) uses nets that ghosts can phase through.

Skulker got a phase-proof net! Unfortunately Danny can just break it. Still, progress!

The. The fuckin doors. On the ghost portal. Are not phase-proof??

dark-deathrage

you're a stupid fucking anti-sjw lol. This blog is stupid. I hate you crackers white people SUCK go suck a dick.

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looks like I triggered more sjws. Keep sending these asks they only fuel my logic. 

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Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail

Love that we’re still dragging the poor fuckers corpse around years later so no one ever forgets their shameful mistake lol

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also

Yeah this is going to break containment babe.

[image description: a tweet by user @indigenousAI saying

“fun fact: as a DV survivor i cannot register to vote because doing so makes my address public. anyone who is fleeing or hiding from an abuser is automatically disenfranchised from the political process and this is a feature, not a bug”]

I don’t know of the original poster might not be aware

but!

if you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, you can enroll into the address confidentiality program (free of cost!) and be registered to vote as an absentee voter and your name and address will not be made available for the public

it is super easy to get enrolled - the application takes like 5 minutes, but it has to be with someone who is certified to do it (most likely an advocate! try going to a family justice center in your area or calling the Attorney Generals office in your area!!!!)

ALSO : 

you don’t need to have any police reports or have a protection order to qualify!!! you just have to sign stating that you’ve been a victim of one of the aforementioned crimes.

Reposting as Primaries and General Voting are coming up.

Rewatching early Danny Phantom, and so far what we've learned is that everyone who hunts ghosts (including ghosts who hunt ghosts) uses nets that ghosts can phase through.

Skulker got a phase-proof net! Unfortunately Danny can just break it. Still, progress!