hey, can we talk for a second? it’s about your girlfriend. yeah, she’s great. no, yeah, I agree. It’s just that… she seems really devoted to you? Like really devoted. Almost as if you were the sole, fragile line mooring her to the shores of humanity. No, that’s not romant—ugh. Listen. Me and the girls, we’re worried you might be the last good thing to happen to her and that were some tragedy to inevitably befall you, she would tear the gods from their thrones and dye the infinite western seas wine-dark with their ichor. Do you think you could introduce her to a new hobby or something? we don’t want to have to argue over what color “wine-dark” is supposed to be
acerago
for adults, good kids and convenient kids are the same thing
shout out to the comic that breached containment because the aging population of tumblr relate hard about being A Good Kid
Everyone loves villain monologues -- they're one of those things that I think we feel intuitively that the world just should contain -- but there are so many structural incentives that prevent them. Obviously, for hostage-takers and bank robbers and stuff, there's an incentive not to give monologues because it's a distraction while you're in the middle of a crime. In the private sector, it opens you up to added liability and legal attacks based on your state of mind. For politicians, it's politically damaging outside of very specific authoritarian contexts. If you're giving a villain monologue in the context of a job you'll probably be fired, for image reasons if for nothing else.
This sucks! Everyone loves villain monologues, and everyone knows the world is full of villainy, but we're stuck in this situation where everyone has to pretend to be stupid rather than evil, and there's no allowance for megalomania or stylistic flourishes. I think we need to look into safe harbour provisions.
everybody wants to write about royalty that is troubled and concerned with the morality of monarchy and absolute rule but nobody wants to write about the compassionate empathetic king losing his mind and having a complete breakdown and smashing the divine scepter of the gods over the enchanted crown
“what if I was a NICE absolute ruler” yeah well what if you went apeshit. what if you couldn’t simply reconcile feudal dictatorship with the innate equality of humankind what if you started pulling out your own teeth to hand out to passerby.
“I’m trying to make the best use of my power in an unjust and exploitative system :)” I’m raving in the streets denouncing my lineage and pissing on the wall of the temple of the god that crowned my ancestor
Starscream is probably the funniest Transformers character to keep turning out to be effectively immortal. Megatron at least has a cult kind of thing going on and his body being reused as a powerful weapon of war by other villains also tracks. And divine intervention via the Matrix and also the narrative (toy sales) deeming him the Main Character won't fucking let Optimus Prime die and stay dead. Starscream apparently just exists to be a pathetic thorn in everyone's side.
Freak of nature. Cockroach motherfucker supreme. The universe's favorite unwitting clown who will never learn. Loathed by both Autobots and Decepticons for being So Fucking Annoying and neither side can kill him permanently. Tragic.
Do you ever see someone posting about their blorbo and be like 'cool post but I don't really get it' and then you imagine the same thing but with your blorbo and it's suddenly like ohhhhhhhh I see the light
never done this before but i will be adding it to my toolbox in future
That 4chan post about suddenly understanding Twilight with a guy dating a female vampire and tempted by a female werewolf.
did you let me die in your arms in the timeloop
I keep thinking about this post. Did you let me? As in did you not save me? and Did you let me? as in did you allow me the comfort of your embrace at the expense of your own pain, knowing tomorrow I would be back and fine but you’d still be feeling my blood against your skin?
Did you let me die in your arms?
The trick is to do it without shame. Literally anything could be cool if you just did it shamelessly
“Your ancestors are amazed at all your spices!”
“Your ancestors are impressed that you are an educated woman!”
“Your ancestors are proud that you are thriving in spite of what society did to them and you”
It’s all very sweet! But! Necromancy! Is! Still! Illegal! Your ancestors are going back in the ground!
Stop resurrecting them to show off!
“That’d be Ori’s hand. He could write quite well and speedily.” -Gimli
or, the final words of Khazad-Dûm
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
i love when a man is fresh of getting his ass beat. it’s like a pregnancy glow
As soon as I can revive him from the dead the wedding is BACK ON !!!!
evrybody hate me and want me dead. except for god he said faggot! you will live forever
Big fan of characters realizing they don't get to die. They have to live. And grow. And be a person. And deal with shit they thought they'd never have to. And be fucked up about it. I would like more of this. Enough dying for honor or as redemption. It ain't. You're just a corpse. There is no moral value in dirt time.