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Et Tu, Brute?

@no-time-for-thyme

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i think of this video once a week

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Transcription: A man stands in front of the camera with the caption “A story time from when I was a girl” next to him and trans flags adorning the video. “Ayo, let me give y’all a story time. You know I’m transgender, I was born a girl I transitioned into a man but let me give y’all a story time from when I was a girl. So, me and all my stud friends, we getting ready to go to this party we all dressed in all white.  One of my friends decided like, ‘Ay y’all, let’s all wear our straps to the party.’ So we all dumb, ‘Aight, bet!’ So, we all wear it to the party. We get to the party, it’s a basement party, back in the day, you know what I’m saying, so, nobody can really see. So, this girl get to twerking on me, she feeling me, giving me her number, dadadadada (said to mean etc.) We meet up after the party at her house, me and all my friends. So, we all go into seperate rooms dadadadada. So, we did what we had to do. So, I ain’t talk to shawty for like, two and a half months and I get a random text from this number like, ‘Yeah, like I been trying to call you and talk to you.’ And I’m like, ‘For what?’ you know what I’m saying, [I’m trying to] ignore you, like, it was a one night thing. She’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m pregnant and it’s your baby dadadadada…’ And I’m like, ‘Shawty, I’m a girl.’ and like, showing her pictures of like, what, me in a sports bra. No, she like ‘No, that’s your sister I’m not stupid I know who I had sex with that night.’ Um, so, to this day I got a child out there. Hey son-”

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!

Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.

FINAL: Marina Ida from Splatoon vs Ms. Valerie Frizzle from the Magic School Bus

Entrant propaganda:

Marina Ida

  • She canonically made a self insert Bishojo about her band member and will ramble about heavy machinery
  • Her tag

Valerie Frizzle

  • the og, have had a lesbian crush on her since the 1990s
  • MS.