Aperture Science Announcement Voice: “Congratulations, Homosexual! Your existence has been deemed profitable in the following regions: North America, Western Europe, and Australia.”

“To celebrate the occasion we have temporarily recolored all Aperture Science appliances in these regions to your favorite flavor of gay.”

“For further pandering on a wider area please continue fighting for basic human dignities and Aperture Science will be right there to celebrate your victory with you. Afterwards.”

It’s that time of the year again.

Behind the scenes of Godzilla (1998)

man why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off. dude’s huge

i wouldn't fight godzilla if i was this dude's size, for roughly the same reason i wouldn't fight a komodo dragon at the size i currently am

Not even to save New York?

what has new york ever done for me

every watcher show is ryan/shane going on a weird random tangent while the other patiently waits for his turn to tell his own weird random tangent in their own show

may we add

hm.

well. that's.

hm.

hey guys wanna come over and play 9/11 with me

This is talking about Paul McCartney by the way.

It’s what

OK here’s the context:

This person writes fanfic about real life musicians from the 60s, including mpreg. They’re also openly homophobic. Someone made a post joking about Davy Jones from the band The Monkees being gay and OP went off on them about how disrespectful it is to headcanon real life people who are still alive as being gay. OP’s inbox got flooded by people pointing out that they themselves write fic about actual real life people who are still alive being mpreg’d but they insist it’s totally different you guys I swear and had a meltdown.

Also, the fic isn’t actually about Paul McCartney, it’s about Paul Simon from Simon & Garfunkel being impregnated by Lily Tomlin.

y’all i kinda just assumed this was an old 2014ish post circulating, but the original post was made yesterday. as in like, on May 19th 2022

to be fair this is the only thing protecting us from Do You Love The Colour Of The Poll

this has been on my mind for a while now so i pieced their lines together.

The fun part is over.

War is upon Europe.

I realize now that without context this kinda message coming from an account named allthingsgerman can sound a bit ominous.

UN vote to make food a right.

by geo.ranking

Bro wtf are people using for their headlines these days

IM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF HELP—

ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING—

A PSA

#The Legend of Zelda#video games#My husband was the chairman of the Entertainment Software Association so that's insider knowledge for you

The Lynda Carter version of: "it's true, my uncle works for Nintendo."

And I know everyone's uncle who works for Nintendo, too.

excellent names on the enemy team tonight

whenever anyone here is like tumblr is actually so cool it's like ok girl 🤨 literally not true. yes i spend 36 hours here every day. that is how i know

when you guys see this post getting reposted for the 3948734987th time just remember: i'm op, me and a buddy did this at work while bored, it's real and afterwards my buddy threw pennies at the motherboard until it shorted something and stopped turning on

The Armorer + text posts | Mandalorian Season 3

part 1 • 2 • 3 • 4

And why did the value plummet, Marissa? Why did it plummet?

Would like to know how exactly she wouldn't fuck up Netflix or Hulu

Yahoo thought Tumblr would be the next PDF

What does that even mean? PDF as in Portable Document Format?

i cannot stress enough that i dont think yahoo even knew what a pdf was

— Feet of Clay, Terry Pratchett

i think scotland should rebuild hadrian’s wall while everyone’s distracted by the coronation

it’s not unheard of

YOU MAY BE THE BEAST YOU WORSHIP BUT THE HUNT IS ON, SLUTS

STOP BEING HORNY ABOUT GETTING HUNTED FOR SPORT YOURE MAKING THIS WEIRD FOR ME