this is good

I’d just like to add, see how they behave when they’re angry/frustrated/exhausted, and if you see something that concerns you, wait until they’re calm, and then talk to them about it.

My husband used to yell when he got frustrated, but after I explained to him that I found it upsetting, he stopped yelling and started consciously working on asking for help before he got to that level of frustration.

When I’m upset over something, or just in a bad mood, I tend to withdraw. My husband explained to me that it makes him feel like I’m mad at him, so now when I need some space, I’ll tell him what I’m upset about, or that I’m in a bad mood for no particular reason, and I need to be alone for a little while.

See your friends and partners at their worst, but don’t assume that their worst is immutable. If someone loves and cares about you, they’ll try to accommodate you to the best of their ability.

^^^^ This is the best advice I’ve ever seen on this site, and it is so important. Communication is everything, and is 80% of the reason my husband and I have such a healthy, strong, and supportive relationship.

I feel like the problem ppl have when constructing redemption arcs is people make 'the character realizes what they've done is wrong' the end step instead of like...one of the earliest ones. a satisfying redemption arc doesn't resolve when the character first feels sorry, it resolves when a character has really journeyed towards atonement and made enough change in themselves to achieve some kind of symbolic victory over who they used to be

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages

Good guide. It is one of my biggest pet peeves when 6-10 year olds are all written like 3-4 year olds. Positively cringey. If in doubt err on the side of the kid being more mature than you expect.

if in doubt err of the side of the kid being more mature than you expect

I’m 29 and I want a sticker.

@ephemeralseraph

i cant stop thinking abt the two headed calf poem like ;-; i feel like a two headed calf psychologist no i will not explain

Two headed calf moodboard

#reblogging agaim just so ppl know that reason why the buddy cant stay alive is cuz hes gonna die in 2 days or less#two headed cows cant survive and usually are born dead and have a lot of medical problems#so rather than a tramatic death they get put down safely#cant keep him but can love him enough to not let him suffer

Thank you for the clarification on that

People have this weird belief that if you're critical of a system or tradition, then it must be because you failed to live up to that system or tradition. The idea of having a principled stance, regardless of whether or not *you* personally benefit from society accepting that stance, is foreign to so many people. And this belief is really fucking important for and beneficial to the elites of this country. If you can get the masses to equate criticizing you and the institutions you control with abject personal failure, congratulations, you've just made yourself immune to accountability

In 1912 Alfred Wegener proposed a controversial theory about how the Earth’s land masses formed. He said the great continents had once formed a single landmass, which had broken up over time. The idea went against all conventional ideas, and was roundly dismissed.

It took the work of young cartographer Marie Tharp to prove him right.

In 1947, she worked on a team that were running expeditions around the world, mapping the ocean floors with echolocation. However, Marie wasn’t allowed on the missions because women were seen as ‘bad luck’…

But the work she did back at the university was invaluable. Converting endless data into detailed profiles, she realised that the ocean floor isn’t a flat, featureless plane, but a complex, varied landscape.

Most importantly, she spotted a long, V-shaped valley in each of her profiles: a rift valley that supported Wegener’s theory, formed by two land masses moving apart, splitting the ocean floor in two.

But even with this evidence, Tharp’s ideas were dismissed as ‘girl talk’.

She then realised that her profiles tied in with worldwide earthquake maps being developed by a colleague.

The mounting evidence started to convince some sceptics, but not all. Renowned explorer Jacques Cousteau was so unconvinced that he sent an expedition to film the ocean floor and clear things up once and for all. What did his footage show? Exactly what Tharp had predicted.

Tharp’s steadfast determination had paved the way for Wegener’s continental drift theory to gain traction. As the tide of opposition waned, it gave birth to our modern understanding of plate tectonics and secured Tharp’s position as one of the most outstanding cartographers of the 20th century.

Watch the full story on our YouTube channel.

Once again I am filled with awe for a brilliant woman and disgust that I’ve never heard her name before today.

I noticed when I was a kid that adults seem to forget that everything is real, no matter how young you are. A seven year old doesn’t feel like a helpless infant, they feel the oldest and most mature they’ve ever felt. And they will when they turn eight, too. And nine. Twenty. Thirty. Fifty.

You never feel as young as you are, because you’re always the oldest you’ve been. You can only look back and equate childhood with ignorance and silliness, because there were things you didn’t know then. But there are things you don’t know now, too, that someone older is looking down at you for.

I promised myself I would never forget that, growing up. I put it in a time capsule when I was nine because I wanted to be certain. And sometimes it slips away, and I catch myself scoffing at people younger than me, but you have to fight that. You have to hold on. You have to keep a little bit of your younger mind inside you, so you don’t forget.

I think that’s important.

Remember that you’ll always change, but know that the person you’ll become isn’t going to be any more real than the person you are, or the person you were. They’re still going to feel like You.

Being a daughter is like *apologizes to your mother even though she's never apologized to you*

Me: *feels bad about something I said when I was angry a minute ago and apologizes*

My mother, after I tell her what she did to me was fucked up and it makes me feel like shit to this day: that didn't even happen

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

We forgot about it

I once signed up to participate in a study on how depression affects memory, forgot I was meant to go do it, and when I emailed to apologise to the PhD student running it she basically told me that a) she was very used to this happening and b) the weird irony of her theories’ correctness making it very difficult to arrange proving them had by now gone from infuriating to hysterical

I went to the Grand Canyon when I was depressed and I literally forgot the whole thing. Like, the only reason I even know I was there is that I have photographs of myself standing in front of the Grand Canyon with dead eyes but i have absolutely no memory of it

People talk about depression like it’s just being sad all the time but straight up your brain stops working and sadness is just one of the many, many consequences of that

*has one uncomfortable interaction* *is fucked up for 3 days*

I can’t wait for the day a woman’s strength isn’t dictated by how much abuse she can endure

How people can mistakenly think or just subconsciously feel food works: there are “unhealthy” foods like pizza or fried chicken and “healthy” foods like fruit salad or steamed vegetables. Every time you eat an “unhealthy” food you’ve harmed yourself in some way.

How food actually works: foods contain carbs, proteins, fats, sugars, vitamins, minerals, fiber and/or other nutrients. Your body needs and uses all of them but it would like to have a little of everything every day. If you ate pizza or fried chicken for lunch then that’s probably your fat and protein for the day with extra that your body will make use of in time, so it’s a good idea to make your next meal something different like that fruit salad or steamed veggies. You can have that fatty lunch every single day if you just maintain balance and stay active enough to actually use what you’re stocking up on because foods aren’t “good or bad;” they just either fit into the rest of your diet and lifestyle or they don’t.

Why do billionaires look like a seventh grader’s first sculpting project?

Haha ugly People bad

original context

Sometimes you just have to start 13 shitty wips in order to get to a story you really wanna write.

I… have never considered a mindset where I don’t feel guilty for coming up with a new WIP once a month and then giving up on it within the first 3 chapters.

You know what… me either…

Oh this is nice

This is a big part of why I’m more likely to refer to something as a “current project” than a “work in progress”.

If it’s “in progress”, and you don’t want to work on it anymore, you’ve already guilted the hell out of yourself. “If it’s in progress and I don’t do anything else with it, I’ll never finish it!”

No. Fuck that. You know what “unfinished” WIPs do? They let you explore things. New styles. Different AUs and tropes. Practicing grammar and sentence structure and flow. Taking a break from whatever came before!

If you walk away from a project you picked up for fun, outside of money and Responsibilities killing your idea/free time, it’s one of two things- you weren’t in love with it, or you didn’t have the skill for it and you’ll come back to it later. You learned something either way! It fulfilled its purpose! It’s done! It’s not an abandoned WIP, it’s a finished project that taught you things about your current skill set and what you enjoy doing!

This idea that you absolutely have to finish every single thing you start is utter bullshit, all it does is stifle creativity and progress.

Hiya kids, if you are in pain every day it is not normal and you should see a doctor. Even if it isn’t every day and it is only most days. Even if your family members have the same kind of pain and tell you not to worry, it could be more severe and it is important to have a doctor check it out. My whole family has back pain and I ignored mine for way too long because I thought I was too young to have something seriously wrong with me. Even as the pain grew I let everyone else convince me it was fine. I eventually went to the doctor and found I needed back surgery urgently (at the age of 13). Please guys, don’t ignore your pain. I know it is difficult because no one takes you seriously, but keep pushing for information and help. 

gentle and kind things in the world

this might be a hard pill to swallow for college students but getting drunk all the time isnt a personality trait it’s alcoholism

Here’s another pill: companies and ad teams know that your 20s are extremely stressful and they purposely target you because they don’t care about making us all alcoholics as much as they care about profiting off of us.

cooler pill that I’d wish I’d known about when I was younger: if you’re struggling with alcohol, AA isn’t your only option. AA can be a bit dogmatic and sometimes hostile to certain communities, especially the LGBT.

there’s a group called SMART Recovery that has free meetings just like AA, but it’s all science-based and secular.

and here’s the thing for college students: unlike with AA, it’s okay if your goal is moderation and not abstinence. no one is going to make you feel like a bad guy for being young and just wanting help getting healthier, but perhaps not wanting to commit to being totally abstinent. google SMART Recovery, guys. they’re awesome. :)

Reblog for non-religious version of AA

If you’re scrolling through tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about or you’re looking for a sign that everything will be okay, this is it. So, breathe. Relax into this moment. You’re alive & that’s all that matters.