a study i did because i realized idk how to draw environments at all LMAO

STOP SCROLLING THIS IS A PAINTING

I am living for this now.  As @ devilangel657 said, the idea of a psychologist embedding themselves in the Jedi Order and having to listen to the stories of the stupidity the Jedi have to deal with every goddamned day in their roles as peacekeepers and later freeing worlds, would be amazing. They’re so serene and calm and put together when you first meet them!  Then, like, a month later, “YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I HAD TO DEAL WITH ON BRENTAL.  LET’S JUST SAY IF I HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER FUCKING PIRATE I AM GOING TO SHOVE A LIGHTSABER UP THEIR ASS BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO SAY A GODDAMNED WORD.” blares through the Force, even when all the Jedi says is, “It was a difficult mission, but I believe it has been resolved to the best of my abilities.” Obi-Wan and Anakin’s couple’s therapy is a disaster.  Sure, Anakin wants to talk about things!  Until the psychologist turns to him and tries to make him talk about what’s eating him and then NOTHING IS WRONG, EVERYTHING’S FINE, he says angrily, crossing his arms and glaring. Obi-Wan looks at the psychologist, not a single hint of self-awareness on his face, like, See what I have to deal with?

YES. Little by little, all these things come out and eventually it becomes clear that A) the Jedi have to put up with a TON of the universe’s bullshit, B) there are a LOT of secret affairs going on, both within and outside of the Order, and C) there is a WHOLE LOT of trauma being actively repressed. 

I feel like Mace Windu would be amazing in this documentary series. The interviewer would be like “It sounds like you have a very difficult role, being responsible for so much in the Order. Would you agree?” and he just keeps staring into space like this: 

…before finally taking a deep breath and being like, “It is a noble calling, and one I am honored to take on.” 

Yoda cancels on his interview like 45 times, or pretends to be napping or dead when the guy shows up, because He Really Doesn’t Wanna Talk About This Stuff Everyone Knows The Order Is Just Fine Look How Well-Adjusted We All Are. 

Quinlan Vos does his interview from a bar, during which he becomes increasingly inebriated. His interview turns into him just bragging about various conquests or awesome parties he’s been to on undercover missions. Viewers love him.

Obi-Wan explains to the horrified interviewer that he really totally wasn’t traumatized by being sent away to be a space farmer when he was 12, or the fact that he once got a rock for his birthday, or that his Space Dad was murdered in front of him. And that things between him and Anakin are FINE. 

The two of them don’t realize they’re still mic’d up when they try to “discuss” things in the hallway in between filming after a particularly pointed on-screen argument. The resulting audio includes lecturing (Obi-Wan), dramatic yelling (Anakin), retreading of very old arguments (both), and eventually some mild dirty talk, which they vehemently deny later even though they both have mussed up hair when they return. 

Ahsoka’s interview is hilarious, since it is mostly just her telling stories about Anakin or Obi-Wan embarrassing themselves. She manages to come off as one of the most competent people in the entire show despite the fact that she’s like 15. She instantly becomes a favorite of viewer commentators on the Holonet. 

Some of the Clones get interviewed about what it’s like to work with the Jedi. This turns into all of them sharing “most insane thing my Jedi has done” stories, and it results in 157 hours of footage. They end up with their own series. 

Chancellor Palpatine also does an extended interview as one of the Jedi’s closest colleagues, in which he repeatedly has to take a break from filming because he keeps breaking out into inappropriate giggles as he discusses how insightful the Order is, and what great partners they’ve been for his administration in helping it to achieve its goals. 

I am crying at that screencap of Mace, that’s exactly the face he’d make. “The Jedi aren’t perfect, we have our difficulties, just as anyone else in the galaxy does,” they all say.  “But we deal with them internally to the best of our abilities.  We’ve agreed to this documentary as a gesture of good will, we hope to reach out to our fellow Republic citizens and show that we are as human as any of you.” What they don’t say is FUCK OFF WE DEAL WITH OUR PROBLEMS OURSELVES, but you kind of get that impression anyway.  And the first half of the documentary is this build-up towards the idea that the Jedi are totally fucked up, they’re all a bunch of lunatics who refuse to admit they actually have problems. But then the second half of the documentary has, like, 300 hours of footage of the Jedi dealing with two warring clans on some Mid-Rim world, each willing to nuke themselves into orbit just to spite the other side, and the Jedi have to deal with literal tantrums from political leaders at least once a month and they have to see politicians living these ridiculous lives of luxury, they have space caviar flown in specially hand delivered while ¾ths of their world are literally starving in poverty, and still have to smile and make nice with said politician because otherwise they won’t be able to get this trade agreement signed that will help the rest of the world, and all the while they’re not allowed to scream obscenities or anything.  And you start to realize, oh, shit, I’d have gone off the deep end, too, if I had to deal with that every day of my life. The documentary works in a roundabout way, endearing people to them–it shows the Jedi being human, that one time they caught Luminara Unduli making the most amazing bitch face, just for a moment, before she managed to smooth it back over.  They caught Obi-Wan Kenobi actually swearing one time!  They have at least an hour’s worth of outtakes of Anakin Skywalker flying around on his droid and crashing face-first into a wall or swanning off the top of the Temple and screaming when he misses the speeder Master Kenobi is driving to try to snag him the first time! “It was a bit of a close call,” Anakin Skywalker says with a grin, “But I had it totally under control.”  (Smash cut to Anakin screaming and flailing as story after story of the Temple blurs by him as he falls while Obi-Wan zips the speeder around for a second try.) There’s a collage of the Greatest Faces Ahsoka Tano Makes When Dealing With Republic Officials.  Almost unanimously, the face she makes when Wilhuff Tarkin turns away from her are voted as #1. There’s also entire sites dedicated to gossiping about the love lives of the Jedi.  The HoloNet EXPLODES when Obi-Wan and Anakin are caught on mic making suggestive comments after their fight, because everyone thought FOR SURE Skywalker was involved with Senator Amidala, have you SEEN the way he makes cow eyes at her?  There are threads and threads of HA AH VINDICATION!!! from Obikin shippers and NO WAY THIS IS JUST PART OF A THREESOME shippers.

(Everyone, please forgive me this enormous reblog. I think you all understand I have no choice.) 

So, basically this is what’s going to foil Palpatine’s plans, isn’t it? He is kicking himself, because he actually urged the Jedi to do the documentary series in the first place, thinking that they’d come off as totally dogmatic, dispassionate weirdos and the Republic would be turned off, making it easier for him to push his “The Jedi Are Evil” spiel later. 

Instead, as the series wears on, everyone finds them oddly charming, and is overwhelmed by how hard they work and the good they do. There’s all kinds of forums set up for the inevitable Jedi Order Fandom as people nitpick every detail the show reveals. The gossip is out of control. Ahsoka can’t go anywhere without an interviewer asking her about the state of her “dads”’ relationship. Padme is hounded by the tabloids every time someone thinks they saw her out with Anakin somewhere (and OMG IS THAT A BABY BUMP??! WHAT IS OBI-WAN GONNA THINK?! Wait, is OBI-WAN the father???!). Hondo Ohnaka, of course, uses this as a chance to make some money, and is constantly trying to sell outlandish stories about his “friends” the Jedi to the tabloids.

 A couple of systems start petty disputes with each other just to get a Jedi and some clones to visit, and they start placing requests (”Can you guys send Luminara? We LOVE her, OMG. Also is Fives available?”) Even Yoda, who was hesitant to even participate, becomes somewhat beloved in his own right as the series’ grumpy, long-suffering grandpa, once viewers see how much insanity the poor guy’s been living with for hundreds of years. 

I am very sorry to everyone that this is making your dash probably a lot to handle today, but you have to understand that this is what I joined Star Wars tumblr for. Palpatine is so gleeful at first, look how awful the Jedi look, even though he’s pushing that, oh, they work so hard and they’re so talented and amazing!  But then the memes start.  LET OBI-WAN KENOBI HAVE A NAP.  SOMEONE FEED THAT POOR CHILD AHSOKA TANO A REAL SANDWICH.  AND GET HER A JACKET SHE LOOKS COLD.  There are floating, spinning star crows attached to Anakin Skywalker’s head in holo pictures and vids.  There’s a picture of Master Yoda making a o_O face as he trips and it gets plastered all over the internet.  Mace Windu strikes a dramatic pose after a battle and it’s caught on holo, people splash motivational wolf-style quotes over the image. The most popular of which is, “WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU.  IS GOING TO DIE.” while Master Windu stands there with a >:| face and his lightsaber at the ready. There starts to be knockoff Jedi merchandise.  Toy lightsabers are a huge hit! So many people are much nicer to the Jedi now and are like, “Are you comfortable? Can I get you a blanket?  You’ve probably had a hard day, here have a slice of pie, on the house.” REQUESTING SPECIFIC JEDI.  Of course The Team gets the most requests (Anakin is initially pleased by this, but then there are people flirting with Obi-Wan. WHO IS FLIRTING BACK.  And knows exactly what he’s doing and keeps glancing at Anakin to see the effect of it because he’s a jerk who likes to rile people up.  NOT THAT IT’S WORKING, OBI-WAN.) but Shaak Ti and Luminara Unduli prove surprisingly popular, everyone just falls in love with them.  The clones, finally having the perfect audience for this, are MORE THAN HAPPY to tell everyone about the Most Insane Thing Their Jedi Has Done.  Rex and Cody are no longer allowed to participate, in order to give everyone else a fair shot.

There are fandom wars over whether the fact that Obi-wan flirts with EVERYONE makes the Obikinmidala three-way MORE or LESS likely. “Hello there” becomes code for “I am flirting with you now” overnight. Clone naming conventions start to become popular with new parents and teens get their hair/ hair equivalent styled like their favorite clone commanders.

On the political side, the average Republic citizen starts getting savvier. Seeing their favorite Jedi deal with these Senate officials and obstinate planetary governors, day in and day out, energizes populations to organize more effectively. The Jedi are unsure how to feel about this at first, but its nice to have the added leverage when dealing with particularly reticent political figures.

Elan Sleazebaggano (of Death Stick fame) is Obi’s biggest fan. After he gets his life rethought, he becomes a community organizer in the fandom, trying to do for others what his favorite Jedi did for him

Okay so there are so many things to love here. Mace Windu’s FACE, Yoda memes, Luminara Unduli’s Jedi composure slipping, Anakin and Obi Wan being actual human messes, Poor Ahsoka, the only sane person in a literal mad house, the clones… Can you imagine how smug Rex and Cody are?

Obi Wan: goes to do something hilariously ExtraTM.

Cody: Arms crossed casually, face completely blank. “Ahem”

Obi Wan: Looks at him… “If I do this, you’re going to tell the entire Republic won’t you?”

Cody: Raises eyebrow. “What do you think?”

Obi Wan: “Ah, well,” looks almost sheepish. “What do you suggest, Commander?”

Cody: Deadpan “You’re learning.”

But we are missing some hilarious potential here… So you guys know how bad Padme and Anakin are at pretending they don’t know intimate details about each other/covering their asses/being remotely subtle? Well, once a film crew is following Anakin around on a semi-regular basis, they get even worse.

For example, Anakin, Padme, Obi Wan, and Ahsoka are sent on a diplomatic mission together, documentary crew accompanying. They all board Anakin’s ship and there’s a lovely lace outer robe lying in a crumpled heap on the copilot seat from when Anakin and Padme made their last Dramatic Escape from a senatorial function (”I thought you said you were in danger?” “I was- a few more minutes and I’d have DIED of boredom.”) Anakin snatches it up and shoves it into his robes. 

“SO THAT’S WHERE I LEFT MY FORMAL ROBES. OBI WAN WILL BE SO PLEASED.” and then he turns bright red because he just implied that Obi Wan will be really happy to see him in a undersized, lacy robe, which is true but not the impression he intended to give the viewing public. Padme breaks a rib suppressing her laughter. The psychiatrist and crew just roll their eyes and wonder why they’re even keeping up the pretense of deception. 

Or, the crew just keep on finding mugs of half-drunk tea with lipstick marks in Padme’s distinctive signature shade 

”They’re Ahsoka’s,” Anakin blurts out. 

Ahsoka, who is there and not wearing a single smidge of lipstick looks at the camera, looks at Padme’s lipstick covered lips, looks back at the camera. Everyone turns to Padme. She looks around the ship. Anakin hasn’t cleaned it in months. There is exposed wiring from the last time Anakin started “improving” it and then got distracted. It smells like sweaty man and teenager and curry. 

“I really enjoy the ambiance?” She offers. “It’s very… relaxed.” A muffled snort comes from the vicinity of Ahsoka. Anakin, who is standing next to her, steps on her foot. Ahsoka punches Anakin in the shoulder, hard. Obi Wan folds his arms and does his only sane man routine, which the psychiatrist and the documentary team now knows is Made of Lies and Deception. 

This lasts until the team catches him sitting with Padme and Anakin in the cockpit, giving Padme a foot massage while Anakin drives. 

“It’s a Jedi’s duty to do what is needed.” He explains repressively. “The Senator had a cramp. I did it for democracy.”  

Despite all this fun it is a small subgenre of the Jedi fandom who end up having the greatest impact - the conspiracy theorists.

See, in among the “Kenobi is secretly a Space Siren”, “Skywalker is the avatar of entropy” and “the Jedi don’t die but merely change their forms and continue to save the galaxy under a new name” theories there are a smaller subset who are driven by the desperate need to uncover the truth of the war so that the Jedi can go back to spending more time with fans planets in need of their expertise. Everyone thinks they’re nuts. Until they don’t.

It starts as a post on a forum with user k3n0b15w00shyh41r ranting about how the war so obviously benefits the military industrial complex, and why has no one ever investigated Kamino for separatist links? User winduismygod93 points out that’s an excellent question, and wait a moment, why exactly were the clones commissioned in the first place? I mean, it was convenient, but could you really see masters Yoda or Windu authorising the creation of sentient beings for war? User 5tone9arden agrees - could this be a smear campaign? User masspalooza posits that it was a false flag operation by the Sith, and after a bit of digging user 5ith7i9ht uncovers the Sifo Dyas link - a known associate of the traitor Dooku? They’re on to something. User blankdayzii  is concerned about sabotage when user xxx_t4N0_xxx points out a strange bit of footage from the latest episode of “Craziest things my Jedi has done!!! - Series 3, of a clone looking suddenly disoriented and shaking his head while muttering. User y0dAts4w3sm obsessively scans footage for more case into a compilation holovid. But it is user shaak_pronounsaresirandgeneral_ti  who comes to the final conclusion: mind control. This is urgent! What if the Sith are secretly implanting sleeper agents into republic forces to shift the tides of war!!! It probably wouldn’t have gone any further, except user 0biAn1da7a689 turns out to actually be the Senator for a minor system in the Mid-Rim and raises the issue in open debate…

The Kaminoans rebut the accusations - some clones have occasional reactions to their aggression control chips! Which are perfectly safe from tampering because they put them in prior to deployment are you some kind of CIS sympathiser trying to undermine our brave troops senator?

Some reporter bails up the nearest Jedi for comment and oh, wouldn’t you know it? It’s General Skywalker! Here to see Senator Amidala for midweek nookie on Jedi business! Whose first response is “Chips? WHAT CHIPS?” followed by a litany of curses so vile even the reporter from the  Nal Hutta Tribune is impressed. After Anakin’s brain reboots he does what he does best and angrily descends upon Obi-Wan demanding they free the clones immediately!

And that is how Palpatine had a very bad day and the Jedi fandom saved their heroes from a future full of loneliness and sand.😉

(yes there are references to some of you in the forum bit - @forcearama  should be obvious but there are at least 3 more 😏)

People, I’m sorry this is a gigantic post now but I just want you guys to see this.

Am I the only one who remembers that time a padawan was whining about how Yoda doesn’t have any feelings and Yoda was like, “Excuse you, I have been burying loved ones for sixty times longer than you have been alive, lecture me about grief do not.” 

@phosphorescent-naidheachd

*snerks*

This is BEAUTIFUL. Pretty improbable – let’s be honest, even though he’d absolutely underestimate how likable segments of the audience would find the Jedi, Palpatine would still 110% make sure that whoever was hired to put the documentary footage together did so in such a way as to make the Jedi look like The Worst Ever™ (think reality TV dialed up to eleven) – but I laugh in the face of realism when the crack is this delightful.

Jedi Order fandom!!! Tabloids and conspiracy theory boards!!! Therapy for ALL the Jedi!!!! Palpatine’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day(s) being the unintentional product of his own meddling!!

:-D

Wait, wait – Asajj Ventress as a closet fan of the series!!! If anyone ever discovered her Deep Dark Secret, she’d claim that she only watches the show to uncover Jedi weaknesses and to make fun of them… and that wouldn’t be entirely untrue – she does love scoffing at Jedi stupidity on her holoscreen – but it’s more than just that.

She gets a real sense of community from the Jedi on the show. Which is pathetic, of course, or so she tells herself. She’s a Sith acolyte, soon-to-be Sith apprentice, and she doesn’t need friends or family like these weak Jedi seem to. (Even though they claim they’re above such things. Obviously another case of Jedi hypocrisy at work.) But the abandoned young girl who lives deep inside her soaks it up vicariously and with poorly-hidden envy. 

And a few of these Jedi don’t seem too bad. Plo Koon, for instance, reminds her just a little bit of Ky Narec. And while young Tano has all the irksome enthusiasm and dogmatic certainty of youth, she won’t deny that the girl can be entertaining. Besides, she pities Tano for having to put up with both Kenobi and Skywalker. 

And a few other Jedi… well, as long as they don’t open their mouths, they can be quite pleasant to look at. For Jedi, anyway. Not that she would notice that sort of thing, of course.

She eventually joins a few fan forums under the username 2sab3rsar3b3tt3rthan1. For research purposes and to spread the truth about the Jedi, obviously. Not-so-surprisingly, she winds up getting into lots of heated discussions with fellow fans of the show, and a couple of them get her second-guessing some of her decisions over the past few years. (A few users also introduce her to the wonderful world of Jedi memes, but that’s a story for another day.)

Dooku, both because he’s a Sith (and thus rightly paranoid about betrayal) and because he’s a control freak with no sense of boundaries, has always secretly monitored his apprentice’s media consumption and holocommunications. It’s not high on his priorities list, however, so he’s set the system up so that he’s notified if certain flagged key words appear more than X times in a fixed timeframe.

“Jedi” is, of course, one of those key words.

So when he starts getting twelve thousand alert dings to his comm, he’s naturally a little bit worried, a little bit curious, and very irritated.

Things progress from there. 

Dooku starts watching the show, and it makes him feel feel nostalgic and ever-so-slightly regretful about having left the Jedi Order. He’s still bitter about all of the problems in the Order, of course, but… part of him misses having a community to fall back on; a group of others to be superior to. He’s still superior to all of the Jedi, of course, but it’s not the same when they aren’t around to appreciate it. Besides, the holodocumentary has made it more clear ever that his lineage desperately needs him. And while this whole Sith thing has been going more or less according to plan, he’s long had his suspicions about Sidious’ true intentions towards him…

But Dooku doesn’t actually do anything until Sidious orders him to dispose of Ventress. It’s not that he’s fond of her – don’t be ridiculous! – but she’s been a faithful apprentice and a useful tool. Killing her would be wasteful. (And she so looks up to him…) Besides, if Sidious is this eager to kill Ventress because he thinks she poses a threat to him, what does that say about his own fate? Dooku is still fairly certain he can outmaneuver Sidious when the time comes, but… why should he wait when there’s an easy answer sitting right in front of him?

Cue Dooku returning to the Order in the dark of night, Ventress in tow.

The ratings on the next episode of the holodocumentary are off the charts.

I honestly can’t believe this post is still getting notes AND additions!

I’m just imagining Asajj being slowly won over to being maybe kinda sorta okay with the Jedi and expressing this through holonet style hyperbole of “fuck off with your attractive face, sir” and, after the Jedi Documentary series has been running for a couple of seasons, the talk show circuit starts picking up on things. Eventually, there’s a Naleen Savera’s Late Night Show segment that reads out Mean Space Tweets and, like, a good solid quarter of them are Misunderstood Holonet Culture like: “kenobi is a jedi hipster piece of shit and i’m gonna fight him” – 2sab3rsar3b3tt3rthan1  [x] (She means with her face.  She’s going to fight him with her face.  Right on the mouth.)

Dooku of course is old school - none of this tweeting nonsense the youngsters are so enamored with! He sends handwritten letters expressing his amusement at their dysfunctional antics, gloating about his apprentices forces and not so subtly implying that if certain Jedi were under his purview they would be much better taken care of.

Yoda keeps every one.

The “Dooku Returns!” Episode breaks the holonet for many reasons: the whole “enemy of the state returns with offer to end the war” for a start, but also “The Team’s expressions when Dooku bluntly tells Master Kenobi that he needs more sleep and honestly Skywalker, has no-one ever taught you how to slip things into his tea?” , “Ahsoka Tano’s face when Asajj Ventress sidles up to her while watching the theatrics and offers her pointers on her Jar Kai” and “Master Windu’s face changing to match his saber” are considered highlights.

But the #1 best ever moment, as voted by viewers is the contrite Sith Lord on his knees, as he greets his former Master. One ancient green hand reaches out to as if to test that this is real while the other is visibly shaking on the handle of the stick - there now a disbelieving smile on Yoda’s face and the hint of tears in his eyes (if his head was not bowed, the matching glints on Dooku’s face would give him away)…

Future episodes are all the better for Dooku’s sarcastic commentary as he pulls Anakin and Obi-Wan out of danger by the scruff of their necks while bemoaning their lack of dignity, and the sheer amount of snark Asajj brings to the table. Her verbal sparring with Obi-Wan is legendary, but the ongoing war of insults with Vos is almost as good - particularly when he looks to the camera and sighs before declaring “I’ll win her over one day!”.

I feel the Holonet would echo me on this:  HEY NO I DIDN’T ASK FOR FEELINGS IN THIS HILARITY.  Yoda’s shaking hand and Dooku’s bowed head got me in the feelings place. Dooku rejoining the Order sparks massive amounts of Holonet Discourse, sure, but even more it sparks SHIPPING TALK.  The cameras floated along behind him the first time he had to go to the Archives to do his research for an upcoming debate with other Jedi Masters (Dooku’s status is sort of unclear, they can’t just wipe away everything he did, but they’re trying to figure out what’s the best way to help him work back to a good place) and… is that Count Dooku actually looking rather seasick?  What’s so bad about the Jedi Archive? everyone wonders, as that episode ends on a cliffhanger. NEXT EPISODE:  [brief clips of Madame Nu’s frosty look and Dooku’s actually shuffling around on his feet in nervousness, as well as a blurry figure with Dooku’s distinctive flaring cape actually FLEEING AROUND THE CORNER between the Holobook stacks] THE HOLONET IMMEDIATELY AFTER:  [writes approximately three thousand fics in that very week]

I apologize for bringing this monster length post back, but I think you’ll agree I have a very good reason for it. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT JUST GOT A THOUSAND PERCENT MORE POSSIBLE THANKS TO DOOKU: JEDI LOST. Dooku and company have to go to a party for a mission and it’s full of drunk politicians and dignitaries and such, where one of them, a sports producer of some sort, has THE BEST IDEA EVER and decides to drunkenly suggest it right to Dooku’s face. Producer:  “Heyyyyy, you’re a Jedi, right?  Can I see your sword?” Dooku:  ”I’m afraid not.” Producer:  ”Ah!  I always wanted to have a go with one of those things.  In fact!  I’ve got an amazing idea for a show, wanna hear it?” Dooku:  “Not really.” Producer:  ”Uh huh, uh huh.  CELEBRITY LASERSABERS.” Dooku:  “Lightsabers.” Producer:  ”Whatever.  You could be one of the judges!  We’ll drop contestants into a tank of live animals, a pack of vulc– vulcoffs or something.  And see who makes it out alive.” Dooku:  “It sounds fascinating.” THIS IS CANON. Reality shows and docu-series existing in the GFFA?  Check.  People wanting to get the Jedi to appear on their shows?  Check.  Our crackfic scenario being a thousand percent more possible in canon now?  CHECK, MOTHERFUCKER. Lucasfilm, I am beginning you and handing over fistfuls of cash to you right now, please, please make the Jedi docu-series an AU, you’re so close already.

Dooku returning to the Order is of course a ratings bonanza… but it’s nothing compared to when Padme has her twins.

The shippers of course go berserk and there’s heated wars over whether Anakin or Obi Wan is the father. Some Jedi actually have to go in as peacekeepers to deal with the fallout.

Meanwhile, the Jedi Council has to deal with the extremely difficult question of whether or not they should expel Anakin for breaking such a taboo, while also aware of how mind-bogglingly bad it would appear to the viewers and how much goodwill they’d squander in the process.

In the end, they decide that they’ll officially have to denounce him and demote him and give him six months mandatory time off duty. Obviously it’s all formal and severe and awkward, but they don’t actually expel him or order him to leave Padme and the viewers are FUCKING STOKED because it means they get six uninterrupted months of Anakin being a stay at home dad to newborn twins.

Bringing this back because I had a thought.

Episodes focusing on the Jedi initiate clans are a very different kind of fan-favourite.  The kids are adorable, of course.  Always a selling point.  But.  They are also completely nuts.

Like, yes, they’re being taught Jedi Serenity™, but they’re also capable of making things float around, have access to training sabres, and have their own childish concerns about being picked as a padawan or joining one of the service corps.

Parents of Force Sensitive children who gave their kids to the Order have screen captures from these episodes with their child’s face circled and proudly proclaiming “That’s my baby!”

Parents of Force Sensitive children who haven’t given their children to the Order are stealing parenting/training tips from the show, as well as posting a few of tips for things they’ve figured out on their own.  Or else finally cave and take their kids to the Order because their kid absolutely needs to be around other kids who also have superpowers and can be supervised by an adult who has superpowers.

thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit

but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better

it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better

…i did not know this, thank you

If anyone wants to look it up, the episode was specifically the Deadliest Catch crossover ep, and the myth was that it’s better/safer when working a 30 hour shift to take a 20 minute nap every six hours rather than try to power through. They did an obstacle course test, one without naps and one with, and even though they couldn’t even sleep half the time the naps resulted in their scores doubling.

So actually I undersold it, even if it’s 7:40 and your alarm goes off at 8 just lie down and shut your eyes and it will still be better than nothing

This was immensely huge for me as someone with anxiety issues. I used to drive myself delirious trying to ‘calm down before I went to sleep’ by staying up and just working myself into a panic. Having this knowledge and knowing that laying down and closing my eyes is a better option and counts as rest was way more helpful, eased my mind and actually sends you to sleep faster.

I didn’t know this. This makes me feel a little better

I saw this post a while ago, and my life has been all the better for it. Releasing that stress to fall asleep when you’re on short hours to begin with has been a huge relief.

I shared the info with a coworker who had trouble sleeping the night before a sun-has-just-come-up shift, and it has helped her as well.

Phineas and Ferb episode idea: After Candace shows her photos of all of her brothers’ creations, Linda thinks that her daughter is a talented graphic artist and signs her up for a competition. Candace is frustrated and about to tell her mom the truth but then Jeremy shows up and he’s like “Wow, Candace, I didn’t know you were a graphic designer. That’s so cool. Btw, my little sister is also gonna be at the graphic design competition.”

Long story short, Candace asks her brothers to help her become a graphic artist for real so she could beat Suzie.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has gotten tired of designing -Inators so he designed the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator to design them for him. The Inator’s creation are a hit among other Evil Scientists who buy them in droves. Doofenshmirtz is then signed by Vanessa to an Evil Contracption Designing competition (held in the same building at the same time as the graphic design competition, of course).

Desperate, he asks Perry the Platypus to help him get his mojo back so he could design -Inators again.

Cue musical montage of Doof and Candace training to learn/relearn their respective art form.

It’s the competition(s). Candace is a nervous wreck, but Jeremy believes in her. Doof is all self-assured and ego-boosted by everyone thinking he’ll win, but then he sees his Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator (who looks like a robotic him) also signed up for the competition.

While getting ready for the competition, Perry is accidentally almost spotted by Phineas and Ferb. He sneaks behind the curtain to the behind the scenes. That’s when he discovers that the goal of the competition is to design a doomsday weapon. Nervous, he swaps the cards with those of the graphic design competition.

The competition begins. The graphic artists are assigned to design a doomsday weapon while the Evil Scientists are assigned to design a cool band poster.

The scientists are baffled, but they do their best. The Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is stuck because it’s physically incapable of drawing anything but Inators.

Meanwhile in the graphic design competition Candace does her best but her brain goes blank. Suzie meanwhile is trying to sabotage her by switching her card back with the card from the other tournament. Unfortunately it’s the card of the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator, who now goes to task designing a Doomsday weapon.

The competition is finished. Candace’s work is mediocre, but she wins by technicality for being the only one who drew the correct thing.

Meanwhile at the Evil Scientists competition, the scientists all drew terrible posters except Doof whose poster is beautiful. He’s about to be declared the winner but then the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator reveals what it’s been working on, a doomsday machine. Everyone panics, and Perry the Platypus tries to stop the machine, but fails. Then the machine ticks down to 0, and nothing happens.

Turns out the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is terrible at coming up with machines. All of its Inators don’t work. Which unfortunately for Doof results in all of his previously happy customers showing up to complain because their Inators didn’t work either. He asks Perry to help him again, but Perry is already gone.

“There you are, Perry.” “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

Despite winning, Candace feels hollow because she only won by technicality and all of the other designers were much better than her. She feels like a fraud. But then Jeremy shows up and asks to buy the rights for her poster, because he thinks it’s really cool. Candace is happy.

The End.

i always mean it when i say i love you btw

‘but thats a stranger you dont know’ and i love them. i love that they exist and i love that they passed through my life. and i love u too btw

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one. Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest. By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise. Zeus never stood a chance.

What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.

Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”

And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.

And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”

“Where are you-?”

“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”

“Darling, he’ll kill you.”

“He may try, if he would like.”

You’re so right, that IS the best part.

I’m personally caught up on the seamstress.

“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.

“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”

He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.

“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.”  Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.

“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”

“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.”  She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”

It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.

Someone: You need therapy

Will: HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT INTO THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE!??!??

A Regular Day in the Second Half of Season One

Jack: Dr. Lecter!!! WHY are you covered in BLOOD???

Hannibal, calm as a cucumber: Oh, pardon, I'm just on my period. You know how that is.

Jack: Oh okay! Had me worried there for a sec, but worries no more!

Will, functioning on half a brain cell, 7 cups of coffee, and 32 minutes of sleep: ...what the actual FU-

The thing is. I rarely want loving love in fictional. I like desperate yearning. I like obsession. I like blinding trust just bc you can’t imagine the betrayal. I like codependence. I like the lost caused by the other half’s absence. I like worthless sacrifices that satisfies nothing but the selfish need to devote. I like the unhealthy attachment to each other. I like the foolishness of throwing yourself in love.

#omg exactly

I’m feeling things.

The queer community is full of hurt people.

This can lead to a knee-jerk reaction when we hear someone else say "I am hurt". We look at them and say "shut up, you're not as hurt as me because you have X privilege".

This leads to femme afab queers being told "you can pass and hide as cishet, you're not as hurt as queer women who look queer, you're just complying with the patriarchy's ideals for beauty, you're hurting the queer community, you're anti feminist."

It leads to masc afab people, whether trans men or nonbinary or genderqueer etc, being told everything from "you're not as hurt, you can pass as a cis man" to "you have no desire to transition, you still look like a girl, shut up".

It leads to trans amab people who are nonbinary or genderqueer or agender etc, who still dress or look "masculine", being told that they are "unsafe" for queer spaces, that they don't belong at a "women and nonbinary meeting", that they are "basically just cis men trying to escape accountability".

It leads to asexuals being told "you don't even feel sexual attraction, the thing we're ostracized for! how could you possibly be oppressed? You're just straight and a prude" and aromantics being told "you're just straight and like casual sex, get over yourself" and both being told "you're just a cishet who wants to steal resources".

I have heard every single kind of queer person say "I have been harmed and ostracized by the queer community". Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and mspec people, trans people, aroace people - every single one of us has expressed feeling ostracized by our own community.

On the plus side, this means you're not alone. Your group isn't the only one facing this. You have allies!! Other queer people who have gone through what you've gone through!

We need queer unity. We need to stop attacking each other. If you feel the urge to say "shut up, my group has been hurt MORE", go take a walk. Remember that every single one of us has been hurt.

This is so true. I live in a rural, highly conservative area in the south. I am a bisexual who has only come out to my closest friends, and I know that most of the people I know (including my mother) probably wouldn't react well to my coming out. So whenever I see someone with a Pride pin or bumper sticker, I get a disproportionate amount of comfort from that. It makes me so happy to feel less alone.

Dr Strange must have been a little pissed when he first found out there was a sanctum right in NY