i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

“oh no my potato”

ninja-aliens

hotboyproblems

shut up!!!!!!

I had just moved into a new place, and while it was a decent area, a couple of my neighbors were a little sketchy. This included a guy whose unit was just off the parking lot, and whose porch was littered with miscellaneous junk like old furniture, dirty rugs, etc. While moving in, I had noticed several people coming to and leaving from that unit, all of different races but all looking equally shady. Finally, my friend who was helping me move had come back with food that evening and told me he noticed a guy in a hoodie sitting on the curb outside of that unit, just lurking. He would get up occasionally, knock on the door, and peer in through the windows. When there was no answer, he would just sit back on the curb and wait awhile longer before trying again, but he wouldn’t leave. After hearing that and comparing it to the way the several different visitors looked, I determined that unit was more than likely a drug house. I lived only a few doors down from him so this was really unsettling.

Of course no one wants drug activity happening near their home, but I especially didn’t since the parking lot did not have a secure entrance and my assigned spot was right near this unit, which made me fear walking to my car at night. But I didn’t want to be THAT neighbor that calls management or the cops over reasonable speculation. So instead, I decided to change my wifi router name to “FBI Surveillance Van #2”. Almost immediately the visitors stopped coming by and even normal dwelling noise stopped coming from that unit. It was as if no one even lived there anymore.

TL;DR - guy was selling drugs out of his home near me. Instead of calling the cops, I made him think the FBI was watching his house.

hipster blog

my brain: hey u should bite ur fingers off

me: i do not want to do that

my brain: someone's gotta do it

me: literally no one has to do it

my brain: someone's gotta do it

ninja-aliens

perks-of-being-chinese

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

ninja-aliens

hotboyproblems

honted

i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers”

ninja-aliens

not-looking-for-your-love

phalms

last year this kid had some water damage on this math textbook and when he turned it in at the end of the year the teacher asked him how it had gotten it wet and he looked her straight in the eye and said “from my tears”