Drew Barrymore at the Ever After premiere 1998

was in the car with my friend when I saw the car we passed had the license plate "SADNESS" and I went oh wait we gotta slow down so I can get a pic, but every time we went slower the other car also slowed down. so I looked behind us to see what was going on and the passenger also had their phone up and wheezing the same way I was, and that's when I remembered my friend's license plate is "LOSSJPG"

you think I would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?

the thoughts that women have while drunk peeing at the bar looking at their own underwear should be revered like the bible

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

all of our trobles seem so small from up here

Dick riding IS NOT a form of transportation!!!!!!!! 

not with that attitude

as we can see here dick riding has been used as a form of transport since at least the central middle ages

Here's your dose of "The one with the Whales" ✨

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 39th year in a row

STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]

yeah that’ll do it

making up characters is so fun because you can be like “this is johnson he came from my mind” and all your friends will go “yippe!!! horray!!! we love johnson!!!”

very unfortunate but hilarious side effect of calling the example oc johnson in this post is now people are saying this in the tags

ive never seen anything more beautiful then this 

im giving it the name it deserves in my images folder

*survives the horrors by being such a silly goofy guy that my presence fundamentally changes the genre*

star trek tos au where all the uniform boots look like this

feeling bored i’m gonna dox a fish

ok here goes

ocean

what the fub

Low-concept science fiction

What if there was space?

shrimps is bugs

Whales are cool as fuck and im sick of them being out in the ocean where I can’t see them

whales: [exist]

sci-fi authors: clearly they belong in their natural habitat...