soft to be strong

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

brother dubious

girl…

my nails are so long I keep chipping them HELP

hey anon I have feelings for you

You are forced to fight an identicle clone of yourself. They know everything you know and all of your skills and tactics. How do you win?

i go for the bals they would NEVER expect this

by talos this cannot be happening

tramp stamp that says YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF THE WOMAN WHO LOVES YOU

No recent SCP has enchanted me like SCP-4723 and yet there's NO art of it

yuo're moneyy is gone.......

Me reviewing the footage of the bank during the hours when I was a teller knowing I'm about to get swamped by the fucking Men in Black

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

No fucking WAY, there's actually a knee injury Guy? Catholicism accidentally reinventing the medical specialty system......

I know you're wondering: are there slutty pictures of him revealing his knees?

Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia

[image id: st. Roch staring soulfully and hiking up his robe to show that his thigh has a bubo on it, also sluttily revealing his knees]

what the dog doin

oh so when a so-called "ARCHAEOLOGIST" goes around robbing graves and taking their contents back to their so-cakkklled "MUSEUMS" it's all fine and dandy, but WHEN I, YOUR LOCAL, SMALL-TIME NECROMANCER-

Bro if I die you can raid my tomb

thank you so much! you wouldn't have any issue with being RAISED IN UNHOLY SERVITUDE TO THE WORLD'S SOON-TO-BE TYRANT, now, would you?

Nah bro you're cool

sweet! now if you'll sign YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL TO MY NECROMANCEROUS WHIMS, uh, here on the dotted line:

Yessiree

hey what's your name there

caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

caramel frappe PLEASE

thank you so much this is the highest compliment

Here's another one of these gems

party at my place we're gonna drink expired beverages and tremble

Bro we'll quiver?

come to my house and quiver

I didn't take two years of high school french for this to be left in the tags

fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out

Shit this is great! You can get so much done if you don't sleep!

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD

i have no defense against this. you've got me

my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness

I always thought the name wormtongue was derogatory but I clearly misunderstood their dynamic

i know i made the original post but come on man

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

op is posting from tamriel. or perhaps the lands between