Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?
I've seen this passed around a few times, and I have one thing to say:
Self improvement is great but ultimately? you have to accept your self. Yes you can eat better, exercise more, read more, set boundaries, love your self, but it all comes down to this. Some days you won’t have the energy to do any of these things. And you’ll look in the mirror and think that this is not enough. That’s a lie. The biggest love for self is to live slowly. To rest. To really rest. Have a nap. Eat what makes you feel good. Read if you want to. Embrace yourself and accept that you cannot and will not be ever be perfect. Accept that you are good enough. You don’t need to keep busy all the time. you don’t need to go out all the time and post on instagram. You don’t need to journal if you don’t want to. You don’t need to make art if you don’t want to. Breathe, give yourself grace and compassion. Give yourself the love and tenderness you so badly need. Be gentle with yourself. You are trying and it is good enough. You are good enough.
A beautiful poem that illustrates my point
mutuals are people u wanna eat bread dipped in olive oil with
yeah okay thanks
i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can’t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…
every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).
King
everything u need to know about me can actually be explained by the fact that i read that poem about the serving girl wearing the pearls so they're warm for her mistress when i was like 11 and it rewrote my brain chemistry forever
like this Changed Me
[Image Text: WARMING HER PEARLS
by Carol Ann Duffy for Judith Radstone
Next to my own skin, her pearls. My mistress bids me wear them, warm them, until evening when I'll brush her hair. At six, I place them round her cool, white throat. All day I think of her,
resting in the Yellow Room, contemplating silk or taffeta, which gown tonight? She fans herself whilst I work willingly, my slow heat entering each pearl. Slack on my neck, her rope.
She's beautiful. I dream about her in my attic bed, picture her dancing with tall men, puzzled by my faint, persistent scent beneath her French perfume, her milky stones.
I dust her shoulders with a rabbit's foot, watch the soft blush seep through her skin like an indolent sigh. In her looking-glass my red lips part as though I want to speak.
Full moon. Her carriage brings her home. I see her every movement in my head.... Undressing, taking off her jewels, her slim hand reaching for the case, slipping naked into bed, the way
she always does.... And I lie here awake, knowing the pearls are cooling even now in the room where my mistress sleeps. All night I feel their absence and I burn.
End Text]
oh i get it now! what happened fundamentally and irrevocably changed me forever
I mean yeah I carry a sadness that exhausts my will to live like a leach on my heart but I’m basically fine
Tweets that are stronger than any counseling
Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal
cc: @petermorwood
Anthony Bourdain said something like this about choosing cookware:
"A proper pan should cause serious head injuries if applied to someone’s skull. If you have any doubts about whether head or pan will dent first, that pan is too light."
Literally THE MOMENT I saw this video I thought of that quote.
yeah i will not partake in the societal habit of fearing getting older. each new year you get is a blessing so jot that down
thinking about organ modification in the bible. remove a rib. eat a fish liver, integrating it into your intestinal lining. circumcise your genitals. circumcise your heart. put parchment into your stomach. autopsy yourself now, look for god. you might find him just beneath the ribs, or in the tissue of the spleen
I am a terrible combination of “whatever happens, happens” and “If everything doesn’t go according to plan, I will vaporize”
hate how so much of adult friendship relies on updates, experiencing your life through pictures and tidbits. we had it good with childhood friends, could spend years and years basking in the same circumstance. now i just float through clouds of strangers, hungry for something solid and warm. yes i carry your heart within mine, yes i see the world through your eyes. but in that very moment i still feel alone, still know it's poor substitute for same room, twin smiles.
