The Fates but instead of three old ladies they’re the McElroy brothers
Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet
Excellent. Here she is, being super brave:
the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable
when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think
Wow I'm weirdly unhappy and there's no reason for it I'm sure this has nothing to do with any sort of biological process my body has regularly undergone for years now
By Talos this can't be happening
“Fuck it, we slay” (heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity)
Eating a gummy worm. Do NOT try to eat the other end while I'm distracted again.
LET GO!!!!!!
Love this post. REally lets you step into the shoes of someone stealin gummy worm
My friends teenage pitbutt pitbulled directly into the couch at 90mph
You work in a factory that builds intelligent war machines, built and forced to fight in a constant war. Out of either sympathy or habit, you head-pat every machine after every inspection. A seemingly harmless gesture… until men in suits pulled you from work and interrogated you about it.
“I’m sorry. Could you repeat that, please? I must have misheard you.” I was raised to be polite, and I’m not about to stop now (there are so many guns in this room) so I resist adding “because that is the fucking stupidest thing I have ever heard” to the end of the sentence. I may as well have spared myself the trouble. The cold face of the high-ranking military man on the other side of the table only gets, if this is possible, colder. His lips are pressed flat, and I think there might be some sort of undiagnosed blood pressure problem, because he’s turning a very unnatural purple. “Every. Goddamn. One. Of the units that have come through your maintenance line in the last six months are now showing signs of instability. If you can’t identify the problem for me in the next five minutes, you and everyone you know are going to spend the rest of your lives in high-security prison.”
I might be turning a funny color now myself.
"i just don't like masculine women" literally i'm so sorry for you loss. i hope you get well soon
