I don't know what I was expecting but... the back of the Seabreeze shield is legitimately the handle of a fridge door.

we really devolved as a society when we stopped using fully painted pictures on romance novels and started using cheap photoshop instead 

case in point

this is a Hell of a downgrade 

worst crime capitalism ever committed was eliminating Horny Oil Painter as a viable career option.

So great news actually the horny oil painter style is starting to make a comeback with millennials who’re into adult romance novels, but not in the way you expect!

Anna Moshak is the artist!

Once again monsterfuckers are creating the bright path for humanity

europeans are so funny literally like “i can’t believe americans don’t have fresh bread” what the fuck are you talking about

I can't believe americans think their store-bought sliced bread is real bread

there are bakeries in the united states LMAO i’m not going to argue with a motherfucker about bread

"I'm not going to argue with a motherfucker about bread" is now my life motto.

Update: Lot of people reblogging me trying to say this or that about bread. I'm really sorry if you misheard me, but I am not going to argue with a motherfucker about bread. Thanks for understanding.

pronouns in accordance with the bit

Today's Seal Is: The Friendly Greeter

color of love

very good things

Her

this is her natural state

An addition

#archi your dog needs a little sweater

You really have a little creature that lives with you that looks like this

Immaculate. Extraordinary. I love your dog

OH MY GOD?? ♥️💖💗💕💘🥺 THANK U

…well, i cant argue with that

VIP. Very important post

if you don't booyah back i am killing both of us

Ryan S. Bergara yearning for the paranormal vs experiencing anything remotely paranormal

rengoku’s smile ♥

Someone: they dont exist. theyre just a character

Me:

compilation of the most powerful images

baby time

was trying to sleep but then my third eye snapped open involuntarily so I had to make this

Wait. *does some research* They checked me for tinnitus SO MANY TIMES. I could tell them when the class next door was watching TV. Or that there was something weird about the electronics in the room (that often would break the next day or so but nobody ELSE put that together). The high pitched noise bothered me so I complained a lot. And they test me for tinnitus. Nobody ever once tested me for ADHD. As an adult I’ve become convinced that I have ADHD and that it explains a lot about me, about my childhood, about everything. I’ll just add this to the ever-increasing pile. It has its own room now.

This would explain a lot for me too, I can hear the power strip near my bed, the kitchen appliances, etc. People think I’m joking, and nothing has ever been found to be wrong with my hearing and the ear specialist I went to said I don’t have tinnitus. This would explain so much.

The experiences you two describe are very common in people with ADHD and/or autism. We don’t filter out sounds like that, while neurotypicals do, so we often hear things they don’t. Electronics are the most common example.

Tinnitus is more a sound that’s always there regardless of where you are or what you’re doing (always the same high pitch is the most common form, though there are other types).

Tinnitus: internal damage to your cochlea, usually from over-exposure to loud sounds, triggering the constant hearing of the pitch that’s connected to the place that’s damaged.

ADHD/autism: sensory sensitivities and the inability to filter the sounds around you, causing you to hear things that others can’t even though they’re real.

For some people, ADHD also has a thing where pure silence has a sound. It’s hard to explain but I call it brain static.

candlelit baths are so good bc they involve all the earths elements:

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

How could you forget this one though

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”

ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!

I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.

2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple

I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor

He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god

It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.

I really hate those stupids posts that are like:

“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”

You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.

If it passes the Harkness Test, I’m down.

For the uninformed:

Why.

Alright ladies we need another lesbian icon aside Thor so i present:

T'challa, king of the lesbians

Alright when thors called a lesbo icon its okay but when its tchalla, the second man we are claiming its suddenly “enough” what?? Hmm i smell racism

Yall white lesbians are mad about this post please spread this around more

Aneka and Ayo are former Dora Milaje that are a couple in the comics. So this is basically canon.

Thor: dumb sports lesbians who love beer and brawling. Bad at fashion and talking to girls

T'challa: refined combat lesbians who love trees and dancing under the moonlight. Excellent at talking to girls and being fashionable without trying.

The dichotomy we need

#excuse u thor is great at talking to girls and t'challa literally can’t talk to his crush

exactly, thor attracts hopeless lesbians who desperately want advice from this Smooth Motherfucker and t’challa attracts smooth lesbians who like, see this trash pile and are like “he’s the worst we need to help him”

I love my lesbian kings

accept her

Fed Up Frog Pins by FrogDrops

girls don’t like boys girls like the starship enterprise

I guess boys can come clean then. They like the Starship Enterprise as well. Let’s stop pursuing each other, and instead pursue peace and acceptance of all sentient life so that we can boldly go where no one has gone before.

What if we don’t like starship enterprise? What if we don’t like space? Space is scary. Life is scary. Life in space is terrifying. I will boldly go hide in a cave with my tin hat thank you.

c'mon bones it’ll be fun