when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

at the time of writing, soulsov prelude is #1 in the "top sellers" tag on itch. you have made me the happiest soulsov real in the whole wide world. thank you so much.

Giving birth is so sexy for people who have a thing for displacing their internal organs and expanding their slick, fashionable little holes. I've nearly perfected the art but my hideous bespectacled lab assistant says regurgitating an entire living breathing human adult who was on the fbi watchlist for 27 years "doesn't count". So it's back to square one. But such are the rigors of the scientific method

esports themed yuri?

girl 1: wait... does she "like" me? *blushes* but i can't think about her right now, i need to focus on training for the big tournament

girl 2: GO MID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO MID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO MID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing I really love about seedy anime websites and YouTube mp3 converters is like. They actually do what they say they’re doing. But they WILL try to trick you into downloading a virus. Like it’s almost just a greeting at this point. I try to extract a song from a YouTube video and it says free VPN installer tonight perhaps? Free VPN installer tonight queen? And I say YouTube-mp3 converter you sly dog, you know what I’m here for. Show me the goods. And YouTube-mp3 converter says ahhh you got me, no getting one over on you. Thought it was worth a try tho. Here you go king x

Even more than their theories of statecraft I'm intrigued by their animal training...

I don't know who needs to hear this but APPARENTLY just because a bug is HANGING MOTIONLESS IN THE AIR does NOT mean that the laws of physics have been suspended and oyu can eat whatever loadbearing walls you want

spreading my killugon yuri agenda

You're in her dms I am also in her dms we are both friends with her and are talking to her over the internet

Ok new game. What's the thing you're a fan of that you're the most pretentious about. NOT the most pretentious thing you're a fan of, I mean the thing that makes *you* act like one of those "oh yeah? Name five of their albums" people. There is a difference

one of the most frustrating ways i've found you can be misunderstood is when people think you're horny about the things you're just weirdly fascinated by and weirdly fascinated by the things you're horny about

"omg is this like a fetish for you or something 😅🤣" NOT EVERYTHING IS A FETISH!!! "you have such interesting hobbies" no uh . that one is a fetish actually.

getting called out for gaslighting because the "eyes" on my wings are actually patterns designed to confuse and frighten predators but i didn't tell anyone they're not real

oh I do love the Leverage Gloat when the mark has only met one or two of the leveragers. POV you are being arrested for corporate malfeasance and your company’s inept new IT guy, a european duchess, and three random weirdos are lined up with their arms folded smugly like a boyband

Doing Tarot reading with Table Turf cards

ONEOF MY BOSSES DECIDED TO COME OUT AS SHE/THEY AT TONIGHTS OFFICE PARTY BUT I SH

FUCKING CHRIST

I decided tonight was the night I was gonna come out as he/him so I dressed in my "day off clothes" but APPARENTLY SHE WANTRD TO COME OUT TONIGHT TOO becausse I saw a pretty lady I didn't recognize and went to introduce myself AND IT WAS ****HER**** AND IM FUCKING. STANDIBG IN A CORNER. FUCK

IT LOOKS LIKE EE FUCKING SWITCHED ON PURPOSE