Dick and Jason mutually agreed that if one of them calls Bruce "dad", the other does not say a word. 

Some criminal, which they caught: nice toys, kid.

Robin!Jason aka ray of sunshine: thanks. My dad made them for me.

Dick, trying to hold a laugh because it's cute: pff.

Jason: ?

Some criminal, confused: dad?

Jason, realizing what he just said and quickly turning red: Batman! I mean Batman! Batman made them for me!

Dick, already planning to blackmail him: aha, whatever you say, shorty.

On the same patrol.

Nightwing, doing something incredibly stupid: hah, dad's gonna soooo mad.

Jason "it's my turn, bitch" Todd: did you just call him dad?

Dick "stubborn ass" Grayson: no, I didn't.

Jason: yes, you did.

Dick: no, I did not!

Jason: yes. You. Did!

Dick, realizing that he lost: ...we won't mention it ever again.

Jason: deal.

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

Dick: You... You had a crush on me??

Tim, extremely annoyed: It was a long time ago

Dick: It really wasn't-

Tim: I was a kid discovering his sexuality!

Dick: I just wouldn't have expected it to be you

Jason: It was also me

Dick, snapping his head towards the other reading in the corner: WHAT??

Happy Star Wars day! May the Force be with you!

TIME TO THRASH FOR THE HOLIDAY

I wanna see an au where Tim drake is a sniper.

think about it! Tim who has been watching from a camera now watching from a sniper. He’s already used to wait long hours just to get the perfect shot just now he’s using a different weapon, just him Staring through a lens watching for the smallest movement… who’s he hunting? Idk you choose

But like it would take some practice sure! but Tim would get the hang of it no matter what au he was in, and think of how the missions would go in this au! whether it was a superhero, vigilante or assassin mission any with sniper Tim would be so cool!

Honestly I love this idea. Making my brain go brrrrrr

Actually, to add to my own thoughts, right. A super funny idea is that instead of becoming Robin when Jason dies. Tim instead just starts sniping Batman with tranq darts every time he goes of the rails and sending messages to go to therapy.

the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform

No, It reads like it was written by Jason and Stephanie.

Tim would not allow Dick Grayson slander-- that is his hero.

Now I'm imagining Jason and Steph post patrol playing with little legos after Bruce pissed them both off, and Dick was kinda just going along with it

Stephanie (in a joker voice): I'm rubbing my Butt all over your stuff. We're gonna have to rename this the Buttmobile Jason, Dying of Laugher: Tone it down Steph, the joker isn't this funny

Stephanie, (Batman Voice): I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent.

Jason (Robin!Dick voice): My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick. Steph, snorting out her tea: Well children can be cruel

Both of them together: Who Always pays their Taxed? NOT BATMAN!!!

(I have no clue why Brubabs is in there, I think both of them would HATE the idea of that, but maybe it's just cut out lmao)

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.

then they started fighting Covid precautions.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.

now my parents think climate change is a myth.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.

then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.

now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.

you can guess who they voted for.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.

when did they forget?

Time to bring this back. Again.

Apparently this is evergreen. Dammit.

I remember adults telling me, as a kid that girls can be equal to boys in all fields including athletics. Now, they consider girls to be delicate flowers who could never hope to compete against boys.

[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]

Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-

Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??

Bart: ???

Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*

Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?

Me when fans think of Dick Grayson as a happy family loving himbo (He can be the most manipulative person you ever met if it's for the greater good)

Me when fans think Jason Todd is an angry bull (He is such a master strategist that he was pretty much running circles around Bruce during UTRH)

Me when fans think Cass is a mute doll, and infantalize her-- (This one's just horrible racism and fetishization. She taught herself how to communicate as a form of rebellion guys)

Me when fans think Stephanie Brown is just Tim or Cass's love interest and is reduced to the 'dumb blonde' compared to the rest of the bats (She has the potential to be just as good of a detective as Tim, with the way she spoiled Cluemaster's plans)

Me when fans think Duke Thomas is the normal one of the Batfamily and is timid, shy and levelheaded (He's actually really determined to do what's right and headstrong. He will go against Bruce's orders if he thinks they're wrong)

Me when fans think Damian Wayne is a feral child who needs to be put on a leash (that one's also just racism actually. If anything, I think he's tame compared to his siblings.)

I desperately wish people would start actually reading the AO3's TOS before confidently making 'user guides' to the AO3 that are just blatantly, flatly wrong.

Yes the AO3 has banned content. They do not allow anything that's illegal under US law - though US law, importantly, does not ban fictional depictions of things - and they do not allow any commercial content. That includes your ko-fi link, or mentions that you do fic commissions. If you do post fic commissions to AO3 and want to mention the commissioner, the fic is a 'request' from the commissioner. This protects the AO3 and you from copyright law.

No the AO3 is not 'a creative fanfiction archive'. It is a fandom archive. Your meta, insights, and theories are absolutely welcome and encouraged there. AO3 also encourages you to post other types of fanworks, like fan videos, podfics, and art, but unfortunately isn't able to natively host those like it does text, so fic has kind of become what it's known for. That absolutely does not mean that other types of fanwork aren't allowed, or are discouraged by the site culture! Anybody who tells you otherwise is just plain wrong!

And another thing:

IT’S AN ARCHIVE - A STORAGE SPACE

THERE IS NO ALGORITHM

IT’S A LIBRARY, NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA SITE

So… (sigh) TAG YOUR FICS APPROPRIATELY AND PEOPLE WILL FIND YOUR STUFF.

That’s it.

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

You guys want to know something embarrassing, I just got the joke with Ace's name. Because he used to be the joker's dog, it works as like a card. But when he becomes Bruce's dog, it's like Ace detective. I feel like it shouldn't be that hard to get lol.

Jason using his guns as blunt weapons is so funny like imagine ur getting shot at by the Red Hood, he runs out of ammo, you think you have a chance and he just throws the fucking pistol at you

The best part of Jason's fighting style at all ages is that it's just so fucking practical?? Like, look at the rest of the non-powered batboys:

Then Jason comes in like:

This is how you take over Crime Alley in under a year, kids.