I find it interesting that the mouth salivates both when we’re hungry and when we’re nauseous. It doesn’t matter if stuff is coming in or out, our throat is like okay boys time to lube up the tunnel
Babe could you have phrased this in literally any other way
40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back.
A Timeline of Humanity:
Can we talk about John Cena in the Barbie movie for a bit?
My favorite part about this is that they only put him in there because he asked to be in it.
John Cena asked if there was anything he could do in the Barbie movie and they came back with “how about a merman?” and John said hell yeah!
getting tumblr asks is like receiving a letter in the mail to me. you understand.
"yippee i got a letter!! lets read it" & its a jpeg of jerma
“wearing all pink to the barbie movie” “wearing full suits to the minion movie” the children yearn for themed parties
they should invent a mother who is normal and says normal things and has normal interactions with her child
just remembered the other day a teen approached me holding a rapidly melting chunk of ice in his hand and asked if i wanted to buy a "limited edition pet rock"
I wish someone would put my post under the water, maybe I want to be lost at sea forever
I've got you bestie dw about it
“what do you listen to?” music. “what kind of music?” the kind that gets my dick hard what the fuck are these questions
Actually Captain Jack Harkness is SO important. During a time when we couldn't get a single queer on screen in most shows and even those few we did get ended up dead 90% of the time, he was not only openly bisexual, he was openly bisexual and LITERALLY unable to die.
They buried that gay and he still dug himself up and kept fucking
Y'all don't know what rural love looks like. Y'all don't know. We got 6'2" burly fellas rolling in from the logging camps like "yeah I'm looking for a packer for my boyfriend". We got welders coming in after work and you gotta ask em to scrape off their boots at the door and their hands are black with gunk so we gotta help em sift through the strap ons. Three ladies come in wearing floral dresses with their hair in rings like they just got out of church and you ain't sure if they're together or just friends but when they leave they're all holding hands and one gives another a kiss. Old fella with a walker comes in for some lacy lingerie. 85 year old widow is going on a first date since her husband passed. People are people all over the place, it's not different when you can't see it
Nah, because one time I, a girl from Texas (the great green yeehaw) listened to a girl I can only describe as Western Gothic describe to me in detail how she pegged her boyfriend. Who is on the baseball team, has a mullet and a country accent, and is about 6 inches taller than she is. And then he picked her up after school, happy as could be in his Ford pickup! Literally, she brightened. And so did he. It was adorable.
Rural love is amazing in its eclectic nature.
Large concrete Soviet apartment buildings are a type of girl
This is kind of true actually. In Russian we reffer to different types of apartment buildings by the surname of whoever was in power in USSR at the time, the 3 main types are: ‘Stalinka’, ‘Khruschevka’ and ‘Brezhnevka’, the styles are distinct enough from each other to the point that you could easily distinguish them at a glance if you know what to look for. But the main thing is that ’-ka’ is a feminine ending in Russian which means that all soviet apartment buildings are, in fact, girls.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day
this is what i mean when i say girl is a suffix to fetishistic men
they will add it to anything in order to picture whatever fantasy they want about women, whether is a cute anime girl soviet building, or some strong big busted dommy soviet building
For those worried about the crew having to do a whole job just for one person, flight staff only get paid for time they're in the air; if he'd cancelled, they wouldn't have gotten paid for zip.
So in other words, he gave them an easy day where they can spend most of it on break, and also airplane staff should unionize.
Also the plane likely has to get to NC somehow so you might as well have fun with it
I love all animals so much but I can't lie there's a special place in my heart for the Golden Mole
Look at him.
He has no eyes. His face is an ear. He's iridescent. What can't he do
I know half the point of Encanto is how dysfunctional the family is but I cannot get over how dysfunctional that family is. Imagine your only beloved son goes missing one day and you're like "whelp I guess we don't have to mention him ever again." Imagine refusing to ever talk about your missing triplet brother because you blame him for the fact that it rained on your wedding day. Imagine prophesying a dangerous future for your niece and the way you deal with it is by destroying the prophecy and hiding in the walls of your family home for ten years while the only time anybody in town ever mentions you is when they get together to sing mean songs about you. Imagine hearing your missing triplet brother living in your walls for a decade and just deciding to never bring it up. I'm surprised these people kept it together long enough to have a third generation.
no more "in my humble opinion", from now on it's "from my grandiose and objectively correct deductions".
this text is special to me because without context it seems like the fastest pivot from expression of affection to threat in human history
RIGHT SORRY I LOVE AND KEEP SPIDERS MY PARTNER DOESNT YEARN TO TERRORIZE ME WITH LOOSE ARACHNIDS
First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.
I literally just googled "city with the highest population"
Yes but unfortunately it resulted in a much higher demand for humans in the illegal pet trade
