On Aziraphale, Protection, and the Greater Good

On the Bookshop, the Concept of Home, and Going Too Fast

Metatron's manipulation step by step

Part 5: The offer ("canonical" version)

Part 1 - where I discuss the significance of the coffee.

Part 2 - where I take a look back at season 1

Part 3 - from Metatron's arrival on Earth to sending the Archangels away

Part 4 - inside the bookshop after sending the Archangels away

The time has finally come for the "main event". For the conversation between Metatron and Aziraphale where the former makes his offer and convinces the latter to take it*.

Obviously, the first thing I feel I need to do is to acknowledge that this scene/sequence is far less credible than the ones I've discussed previously. We aren't shown the entire conversation from the beginning to the end so there's no knowing what else was said that we aren't privy to. In addition, we only know it as told by Aziraphale and Aziraphale has been known to tell lies. So it's not impossible that even the fragments we see aren't relayed accurately.

And the second thing I feel I need to do is to ignore all of the above.

I do believe there was more to Metatron's offer than what we were allowed to see. But in this post, I'd like to only focus on what we were shown. Let's temporarily assume we have all the key pieces. That what we were shown was indeed how Aziraphale was won*.

The scene starts with Aziraphale's narration "He said that Gabriel obviously hadn't worked out as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host" and in my humble opinion this opening statement is more than enough proof that Metatron goes hard and plays dirty.

Because, you know, Gabriel. What a hornets' nest that is...

Aziraphale's relationship with Gabriel is messy and complicated and I'll heroically resist temptation to get sidetracked by the topic here.

The gist of it is that the former Supreme Archangel simultaneously does and doesn't represent Heaven for Aziraphale. He does because that was literally his part - he used to be Aziraphale's superior, Aziraphale has been permanently stationed on Earth, so pretty much all of Aziraphale's interactions with Heaven were actually interactions with Gabriel. He doesn't because Aziraphale has a very idealistic idea of what Heaven is and Gabriel fails to live up to that ideal.

When Metatron says putting Gabriel in charge of Heaven turned out to be a bad idea, it's a very subtle misdirection. He is tapping into Gabriel is not Heaven sentiment, and pulls Aziraphale's focus to Gabriel's failure and away from what exactly made him one.

Metatron takes advantage of two things here. The first one is that deep down Aziraphale has always felt Gabriel was the wrong person for the job. We're talking 6000 years worth of decisions and actions contradicting Aziraphale's convictions and ideals here. Those feelings are STRONG.

The second thing is that Aziraphale doesn't really know what happened. He was aware Gabriel was in trouble and had just found out he was in love with Beelzebub. And that's literally it. He has no idea Gabriel had vetoed Armageddon the Sequel and that's the real reason Heaven was out for his blood.

When Aziraphale hears that "Gabriel obviously hadn't worked out" I imagine his visceral reaction is "finally, they've realized he's no good!". And Metatron primed him for leaning into that reaction by the way he handled Michael earlier (see: Part 3). He has sent a clear message that when Archangels act inappropriately it is eventually recognised as such.

And even if Aziraphale consciously knows that Gabriel's incompetence might not be Heaven's reason, there is a romance with the Fallen as a plausible explanation. He has no incentive to examine it any closer.

Let me just say it out loud: Metatron tries to demonstrate that Aziraphale's sense of right and good aligns with Heaven because has finally dismissed an Archangel whose decisions Aziraphale could never agree with. But he conveniently hides the fact that Heaven dismissed Gabriel because, for the first time in his existence, he made a decision Aziraphale would fully agree with.

I hate Metatron.

Let's move on with the scene.

"and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven now that Gabriel was gone."

Aziraphale canonically has standards but in this particular instance, his standards are so low it's heartbreaking. He's clearly floored by the fact that he was asked for an opinion. I don't think I need to comment on that any further.

Interestingly, it's just being asked, not the topic itself, as Aziraphale's answer sounds rather disinterested to me.

He suggests Michael, who seems to be next in the chain of command after Gabriel, and I think to some extent he's playing safe, but mostly he genuinely has no idea. We'll get back to it in a moment.

Metatron dismisses this option vehemently - "Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no!" - because of course he does. He had just scolded her like a misbehaving child. He needs to act as if putting Michael in charge is a ridiculous idea to further confirm his criteria are similar to Aziraphale's. That they are on the same page about what Heaven is and what would be good for Heaven to be what it was always meant to be.

And then Metatron finally goes for it: "There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense. And that's you".

Telling someone they're the only one to perform a certain task that is objectively perceived as necessary and desirable is probably manipulation 101. Actually, you don't even need a task like this, just telling someone they're the only one can make them special and appreciated enough to be willing to accept.

Additionally, Aziraphale knows he's different from other angels, an anomaly of sorts. This awareness on the one hand lends credibility to Metatron's argument - if they need someone like Aziraphale, he really is the only option, because no other angel is remotely similar to Aziraphale - and on the other hand validates his otherness.

In case you haven't noticed, Aziraphale is starved for validation.

Metatron knows what he's doing, showering him with compliments: "You're a leader, you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear. It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, and I will need you to run them. You are just the angel for the job."

They're not even particularly accurate at this point. I mean, I adore Aziraphale but I think you'd agree with me that if you lined up everyone in the whole world and asked them to describe Aziraphale, nobody at all would say "leader".

The part about Gabriel is a particular BS I've already written about.

But while all those things had an effect on Aziraphale, it's very important to stress that they did not make him take the offer. It wasn't the promise that Heaven actually cared for him and valued him. That Heaven needed him. It wasn't the opportunity to lead Heaven and to fix it.

Aziraphale's answer to all of the above was:

"I don't want to go back to Heaven. Where would I get my coffee?"

So Metatron immediately changes strategy. Dangles another prize in front of Aziraphale.

"You know, as Supreme Archangel, you would be able to decide who to work with. (...) it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend, Crowley, to full angelic status."

This is what tempted Aziraphale to agree*

*Except we don't actually know if that is what happened and I will discuss it further in the next part.

To be continued.

I will know no peace until season 3, so I decided to fall deeper into theorising. This season is a bridge to the book sequel right? So I decided to look at notable book differences to see why it was necessary to rip my heart out. And fucking stomp on it. (Love you Neil Gaiman)

There is a chance some of these thoughts actually pan out in season 3, and there are book spoilers that are not (yet) present in the show. So make your own choice if you want to risk spoilers. Don't blame me if I was accidentally right, you have free will.

"Men would come. Men would threaten. Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he’d think about [their suggestions]. And then they’d go away. And they’d never come back. Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.”

"Still a demon? What kind of dumb question is that? What else am I going to be? An aardvark?”

TWO OF THESE WERE WRONG. MINISODE CLUES/ANALYSIS

Alternative title: How I went off the deep end.

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong.”

Fun fact: Crowley is the only one who makes the correct assumption, which melts my heart.

Added a cut, because this became a long post somehow.

Defining Ineffable Love (or, Aziracrow Learn the Rules of Romance)

(In response to this ask about ineffables and asexuality)

One of the major threads this season was Aziraphale and Crowley asking themselves what exactly is their relationship. Not what it is in terms of how much they love each other. (That's a given.) But what it is in terms of the human implications of their love.

For 6000 years, they’ve never put a name on their relationship. They didn’t, because they’re inhuman, genderless, sexless beings and they didn’t grow up (as it were) with labels. And even when they did learn them, they couldn’t say it was love, because admitting that was a death sentence.

All of Aziraphale’s heart eyes and pining could live comfortably in his mind if he never admitted what that said about him as an angel (trauma compartmentalization). Crowley tries desperately to be cruel and nasty to add white noise around the blatant reality of his constant loyalty to Aziraphale. If you don’t put a word to it, it’s not real and they can’t punish you.

After the Not-pocalypse, for all rights and purposes, Aziraphale and Crowley chose humanity as their identity. We see Aziraphale “playing house” in various human roles (as a landlord, a private eye, a magician).

We even see Crowley intentionally taking on human behavior to handle emotional issues: “Just breathe, that’s what humans do.” They’re slowly and intentionally enculturating themselves into the world they want to belong––earth.

Yet it’s setting up Maggie and Nina that makes Aziraphale and Crowley start thinking about their relationship as a human construct.

Here's the thing though right. What if Crowley didn't actually realize he was in love? He projects his very own "fall in love" scenario (sheltering from the rain) onto Maggie and Nina, but when Nina suggests that they're an item he looks quietly dumbstruck. He doesn't even think to say anything until the others tell him he needs to. We all know he fell in love on the walls of Eden, but I don't think he *does*.

And then Aziraphale, who takes longer to get there, gets his revelation when Crowley saves his books. He's known how he feels since 1941, with all the fear and quiet devastation that goes with it. And now, now that they're free, he's ready. He wants to move on with Crowley, he touches and flirts and dances and says "our car". He's *ready*. And he's trying to show it the best way he knows how.

But Crowley doesn't know. Crowley who's loved him so well from the very beginning, DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT'S LOVE HE'S FEELING, and he doesn't understand what Aziraphale's been trying to tell him. And now he's alone.

So I have also been thinking about this, and yeah this season really brings up a question of... how self-aware Crowley has been all this time.

Because the “it certainly looks like that from here” from Nina and his reaction to it (marked by the music as a Significant Moment) suggest that, perhaps, he is only now mapping human love onto what Aziraphale and he have both fallen into.

Thissss 😭😭😭

This is exactly what I think, and it actually matches up with that one interview David did where he said, "Crowley doesn't think of it like THAT". And yeah, we know now he was lying through his teeth but... I did get the impression that his big realization moment was actually just after that conversation with Nina. Had a very "oh, shit" look on his face.

I'm so glad this theory is gaining traction! I had the same thought a few days ago as well:

Like yes, OF COURSE it's been love the whole time, but I wouldn't put it past him to unthinkingly buy into the propaganda that angels are beings of love and demons are incapable of it.

Now that they're on their own side, now that they're trying to settle into their own humanity in a way they haven't really been able to before, I can imagine that a human contextualising it as bluntly as Nina did would give him pause and completely rock his sense of self.

His feelings for Aziraphale are an enormous part of his identity, and he's never really been free to explore it. Easy to write off any warm fuzziness and desperate devotion as natural feelings you would have for your only real companion, someone you have a convenient understanding with (the Arrangement), when there isn't any reason to dig deeper. Maybe even easy to write off any attraction as something more appropriately demonic, like greed or lust.

(Trying to look at where the furniture isn't indeed. Nina just gave him the whole damn IKEA catalogue.)

And as soon as Crowley does realise what's happening, as soon as Nina and Maggie give him the slightest nudge, he immediately goes all in.

Aziraphale fell first, Crowley fell harder.

Aziraphale understood first, Crowley understood better.

AZIRACROW ENJOYER PEDRO PASCAL LET'S GOOOO

This is literally their version of letting your man open the pickle jar, I'm-

Oh to be able to wear your husband as a fashion statement

warmup doodle

Omg he's a BOA constrictor

GOOD OMENS | 2.04 THE HITCHHIKER

Oh my god????? I never noticed the teeny tiny lil smile, send help 😭

Good Omens (2019-) | Season 2, Episode 5 "The Ball"

This son of a fuck reads books, he knows good and well what he's doing

Made the mistake of seeing how Twitter is also faring.

And then Aziraphale said "No! It wouldn't be funny at all!" and he was RIGHT

Here's the thing though right. What if Crowley didn't actually realize he was in love? He projects his very own "fall in love" scenario (sheltering from the rain) onto Maggie and Nina, but when Nina suggests that they're an item he looks quietly dumbstruck. He doesn't even think to say anything until the others tell him he needs to. We all know he fell in love on the walls of Eden, but I don't think he *does*.

And then Aziraphale, who takes longer to get there, gets his revelation when Crowley saves his books. He's known how he feels since 1941, with all the fear and quiet devastation that goes with it. And now, now that they're free, he's ready. He wants to move on with Crowley, he touches and flirts and dances and says "our car". He's *ready*. And he's trying to show it the best way he knows how.

But Crowley doesn't know. Crowley who's loved him so well from the very beginning, DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT'S LOVE HE'S FEELING, and he doesn't understand what Aziraphale's been trying to tell him. And now he's alone.

So I have also been thinking about this, and yeah this season really brings up a question of... how self-aware Crowley has been all this time.

Because the “it certainly looks like that from here” from Nina and his reaction to it (marked by the music as a Significant Moment) suggest that, perhaps, he is only now mapping human love onto what Aziraphale and he have both fallen into.

Thissss 😭😭😭

This is exactly what I think, and it actually matches up with that one interview David did where he said, "Crowley doesn't think of it like THAT". And yeah, we know now he was lying through his teeth but... I did get the impression that his big realization moment was actually just after that conversation with Nina. Had a very "oh, shit" look on his face.

I'm so glad this theory is gaining traction! I had the same thought a few days ago as well:

Like yes, OF COURSE it's been love the whole time, but I wouldn't put it past him to unthinkingly buy into the propaganda that angels are beings of love and demons are incapable of it.

Now that they're on their own side, now that they're trying to settle into their own humanity in a way they haven't really been able to before, I can imagine that a human contextualising it as bluntly as Nina did would give him pause and completely rock his sense of self.

His feelings for Aziraphale are an enormous part of his identity, and he's never really been free to explore it. Easy to write off any warm fuzziness and desperate devotion as natural feelings you would have for your only real companion, someone you have a convenient understanding with (the Arrangement), when there isn't any reason to dig deeper. Maybe even easy to write off any attraction as something more appropriately demonic, like greed or lust.

(Trying to look at where the furniture isn't indeed. Nina just gave him the whole damn IKEA catalogue.)

And as soon as Crowley does realise what's happening, as soon as Nina and Maggie give him the slightest nudge, he immediately goes all in.

Aziraphale fell first, Crowley fell harder.

Aziraphale understood first, Crowley understood better.

Screaming crying throwing up because "you can be my second in command" is Aziraphale still not daring to name their relationship for what it is. Just like when Crowley said "I lost my best friend" and Aziraphale shot down any meaningful conversation with the polite "So sorry to hear it".

Aziraphale is once again not ready to openly talk about what's between them, while Crowley is saying the quiet part out loud now. "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't". Enough of this pretense: I love you, and you love me.

i think this shot from episode 1 is criminally underrated. the comedic cut to michael and the alarm ringing in heaven is incredibly funny but it also distracts from it a lot. this is about to be some more unhinged rambling that probably wildly overestimates the meaning this scene holds but it's fun so here we go.

the first thing i find interesting is that the way aziraphale suggests it, it sounds like this is not the first time they have done half a miracle each. not with these stakes and with someone in the middle, but potentially as part of their arrangement or to hide the two of them from their respective head offices.

secondly, although aziraphale is the one to suggest it, it's crowley who checks if it took, which falls in line with the protector role he likes to take (and his probably unhealthy, trauma-based paranoia).

thirdly, and what i find incredibly intriguing, is the fact that the entire thing happens on the circle rug, which covers aziraphale's chalk/summoning circle. i do not think that positioning is accidental, and i still subscribe to the idea that part of why the miracle is visible from heaven (and as far as we know, hell does NOT notice on their own) is due to the fact that the circle + gabriel broadcast it like a signal. a signal that goes only up since the circle is only intended for communicate with heaven.

tying back to point two, there's just something incredibly symbolic about crowley being the one to quite literally reach up towards heaven and i can't help but be reminded of the scene in season 1 where he talks to god.

the angle is similar, a shot from above with crowley right at the center, and him looking up. the first scene is honestly quite heartbreaking and he does not get any answer from god, as expected. while he attempts to talk to god, it is aziraphale who actually, if accidentally, goes to heaven. he does not get any answers either, but he is still 'above' crowley and can get closer to god (at least in spirit), though i think ultimately this is me being clinically insane and probably does not hold any significance. it does for me though.

we also get the line "you shouldn't test them (humanity) to destruction", which is EXACTLY what happened with crowley and aziraphale.

crowley reached for heaven but it was aziraphale who actually went, and they got tested to destruction. now they need to put themselves and each other back together.

You know there is a moment where Crowley smiles seeing Aziraphale ordering angels around?

And then Aziraphale gets offered a job to be the Archangel and he takes it to protect Crowley.

You know there is a moment where Crowley orders demons around, snaps at them all, tells them they’re out of order? Walks out to them with zero fear and all the confidence?

And Crowley was also offered a job, to be the Duke of Hell, and now the position is free?

You know Crowley is powerful, clever, knows Hell through and through, he’s very good at taking care of things and that would be the only way to protect Aziraphale… 😈

Imagine.

The most normal realistic thing about Good Omens is that Aziraphale fell for Crowley.

Because same.