Too Much Nick

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

I think we should bring back that thing everyone did in 2014 where you badly photoshop two characters from entirely different media together to look like they’re in love. This is my proposal for doc ock x glados please consider

It's a horse girl movie but they both think the other is the horse

looks for climbing vertically down the walls of your house

Just shoot me

You have got to be fucking kidding me

Ok I get it but the Blackberry movie is specifically fantastic and different

If you remove everything “problematic” toward women and minorities from sincere historical fiction I am biting you biting you biting you.

Sometimes “he would not fucking say that” is when the guy living in 1852 is a third wave feminist.

The Music Man revival making Shipoopi a song about respecting women is killing me

Okay this is significantly more funny.

I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

“Yeah, we hate seeing you work too!”

how does this post keep getting better

We failed as a society when everyone stopped wearing headphones.

At my parents place with 2 children watching YT on tablets and 2 adults watching tiktoks and reels on their phones and trying not to summon a comically sized Loony Toons hammer out of my back pocket to smash them all.

I follow a youtuber who makes a lot of (mostly 20th century) shipwreck documentary stuff but I swear to god he's done videos and shorts on the same "one weird thing" undisturbed-but-used drinking water glass on a bedside table in one of the cabins a dozen times and the youtube algorithm loves it so much that there's a new slightly reworded video or short about it every week with a hundred thousand views and it IS how I found the channel so like, good for this guy he can keep drinking from this cup forever and it will never run dry because its upright on the bottom of the fucking ocean.

your friend brett in 2003: “hey guys! ready for a deathmatch round in blood gulch?”

you and your two other friends who found a glowing crystal in the back of your house that gave you a prophetic glimpse into the future where the three of you live successful lives but only if brett dies following a series of finely-connected events that begin with him winning a round of deathmatch on blood gulch: “yeah brett you’re on”

Bad Space Comics: The Suit

Person who checks if Afghanistan is bigger than Iran before deciding if a Taliban aggression is imperialism or not

Line from my vaguely fashy cousin at lunch: "McDonalds is so Americanised now"

a cool thing about tumblr is that when an absolute dog shit dud of a post shows up in my feed i know it's not because of some nebulous algorithm, it's someone's fault and i can find them immediately

we should start doing ancient aliens conspiracies but for buildings that arent even that old or impressive

No humans could make an apartment this complex

simulation theory guys are so funny because like who cares. if im in a simulation then everything around me is still just as real as i am so who cares im going to go eat some simulated ice cream and then have a simulated nap who give a shit

The theory appeals to all the guys who think they'd be Neo